In regard to exes, is it wrong to...

  1. Sorry for the long post... I don't have any girlfriends and I could really use some advice.

    I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now and we previously knew each other online for four years. In that time, we both dated other people but never seriously. One of the guys I not-so-seriously dated ended up turning into a relationship that lasted a couple of years and it ended with me basically leaving him for my now-boyfriend. Needless to say, he was crushed. I did care about the guy I had here(how could I not?) but I really owed it to myelf after four years of phone calls and e-mails to actually meet my now-boyfriend.

    Anyway, fast forward to now. A few months ago I was moving and I kept finding trinkets from when I was dating my ex. I kept thinking about him and ended up messaging him on myspace just to see how he was. He seemed happy to hear from me and now we've been talking online almost every day for last few months. We haven't talked about hanging out, but it just so happens that in the next couple of months there are two concerts that we're both going to. We know we're going to see each other, though it's not like we planned it.

    The problem is this... I'm super nervous/excited about seeing him, I've been freaking out about what I'm going to wear, and I'm pretty much giddy with anticipation. I don't know what's wrong with me. Am I a bad person? Is it wrong to feel this way? I know I'm not going to try to do anything wrong, I just feel guilty for having these feelings about seeing him again after so long. Has this ever happened to anyone? Do you think I just shouldn't go(this is what I'm leaning towards right now)? Please give me your honest opinions, even if you think I'm just crazy. :sad:
     
  2. I don't think it's necessarily wrong to want to make a good impression... as long as you're still certain of the validity of your current relationship. I've never understood why it's so bad for ex's to stay in touch or get back in touch... I'm still excellent friends with my last boyfriend, and my current SO knows and respects that. If he came out here from California to visit me, I'd be giddy, too!
     
  3. I'm glad you feel that way, I was starting to feel like I was crazy for being excited about seeing him. It's not that I feel it's wrong for us to stay in touch really... I just already know that my boyfriend is jealous of him for some reason and the way I'm feeling makes me think he might be justified in his jealousy.
     
  4. Well, the thing I would ask is...if you are so excited, are you think about getting back together with him?

    I would advise against that...been there done that...sometimes when you haven't seen an ex for awhile, it is easy to remember all the good things, and forget why you broke up in the first place....JMHO
     
  5. Absolutely not... I love my boyfriend so much and would never think about leaving him for another guy, especially an ex. That's why I don't know what's wrong with me, it's not like I have feelings for him or want to date him. :shrugs:

    Btw, this is my 500th post! :yahoo:
     
  6. I think it's only natural to want to impress someone you used to care about...I definitely believe in the "if it's meant to be, it will happen" sort of thing...so maybe things could be different the second time around? I'd definitely not advise to jump into anything too fast, but sometimes you just can't help where your heart takes you...:heart:
     
  7. I't's totally normal to feel excited about seeing an ex. Does your current boyfriend know you will be seeing your ex at this concert? IMO, you should let your guy know whats going on and if he gets jealous, reassure him of your feelings.
     
  8. meh.... you broke up with your ex to date your current boyfriend?

    Did your ex actually do anything bad that you disliked about him? Or you just felt you had to give your current guy a chance?

    I dunno... if the relationship ended without anything bad happening... maybe you still have feelings for this guy?
     
  9. Yeah, my boyfriend knows, I'm very honest with him. I don't think he's too upset or insecure about it, I think if he had a really big problem with it I just wouldn't go. :\
     
  10. He never did anything, he probably treated me a lot better than I deserved considering how I just left him. It was pretty much from one day to the next, because he knew for a couple of months that I was going to be meeting my current boyfriend and that he and I would have to stop seeing each other but he said he couldn't just stop seeing me and that he'd rather be around me until the last possible moment. I feel so horrible thinking about that, it was really immature and inconsiderate of me to do what I did. I think that's also part of why I'm nervous, I'm afraid he's going to see me and all the pain I caused him will come rushing back and he'll just hate me.
     
  11. If there is strictly just a friend thing and your bf is ok then no big deal. But if there is a hint of possibly more from either end I probably wouldn't go.
     
  12. been there done that have the t-shirt

    imho sometimes people who you never had the chance to see what was there in terms of a relationship always make you wonder.

    for example i was talking to a guy who i was really close friends with a few yrs back and when i talk to him i get giddy... but you know what my husband means about a 1000x more to me and my realtionship with my husband even more so

    i think its natural to get excited just because its human nature. but you jsut have to be in control of your own actions.
     
  13. As long as you know that what you're feeling isn't the beginning stages of an emotional affai, by all means proceed.
     
  14. No, there is nothing wrong with you and you are not a bad person for feeling that way.

    I have pretty good relationships with all of my exboyfriends, but now that I am in Germany - we mainly talk online and occasionally over Skype. As long as you know your feelings and keep things on the friendly level, you're all good :smile:

    If you really feel guilty, tell your boyfriend that you may see your ex at the concert and ask if he would have a problem with it. I felt guilty talking to my exes, but after I told Bart - he said it wasn't a big deal and he knew where my heart was. He also talks to and sees his exgirlfriends at times - and I've met a lot of them so it's no biggie :smile: