in pain emotionally.

  1. hey

    some of you may have read my other thread about the stuff i'm dealing with right now.

    i've been sleeping alot and i just woke up and i feel like absolute crap. i feel this pain deep down (not physical). it's like having a 100 pound weight inside, pulling you down and trying to stand up at the same time. I can't really describe it. it's just this pulling and urgh feeling. i feel terrible. those of you that have dealt w depression may know what i'm talking about. can't get stuff done and i'm just mopping around my place.

    i'm already on meds and unfortunately i can't go to my therapist coss i can't afford her having lost my job and thus my insurance as well. i'm not even going to think about what happens when i run out of meds. nothing i can do in terms of getting professional help

    i just needed to talk about this pain and sinking feeling i have inside... don't know if any of you know what i mean.

    i'm so sad about the stuff on my hands. i really wish things would work out for me for once but it never seems to... :yucky:
  2. Aww *hugs* I went through a depression phase too.
    it wasn't fun at all but you just need to take it a day at a time.
    talk about what you feel. to family/friends or even some people you trust online. talking helps alot.
    You need to believe in yourself and you have to not give up because wonderful times will come you just need to get out of the dark tunnel you're in to see the sunshine at the end.
    Trust me it will all get better. try to listen to positive music..that helped me alot.
    but always believe that you are loved & needed in this world. no matter what you may think.
    Wishing you the best :flowers: cheer up and smile. it's going to get better =)
  3. Music brings my mood up majorly when I'm depressed.
    Or I watch the animal planet... that always puts me in a good mood.

    Don't worry... keep your head up, kiddo. ;)
  4. I would say exactly the same than Cat_inluv. I´ll just add to take it step by step, at least the med probably helps to not think too much about massive things. So you can focus on tiny things that´ll make you happy even for 5 minutes......listen to good music, watch your favorite movies, have a cup of coffee, chocolate, buy a good magazine.....
    Maybe you can´t see a therapist but you can talk to friends and family, they can be real support and bring smart advice.
    Hope you get out of that state really soon, stay here with us on tPF !
  5. I've read your threads on what you are going through and want you to know that I am very worried about you. I understand that money is an issue but you really need to get help from a professional and soon. This doesn't sound like something you are simply going to snap out of. The proper medication can help you clear the fog of the depression so you can focus on truly healing what's at the core of it. Perhaps there is a low cost clinic or you could borrow money from family and friends so you can get through this. Sometimes w/ depression it can progress and snowball if not treated. I don't want this to get worse for you, my friend. I am here for you - Hugs!

  6. It sounds like your problems are the type that aren't able to be solved by chocolate or watching the animal channel. I don't know exactly what has caused this depression and the thoughts that you are dealing with right now, but I think it's very important for me to tell you that there are resources out there for you to use, even if you don't have the money to pay for them.

    There are not-for-profit counseling centers that you can visit and hotlines that you can call if you need to. I don't know what state you live in, but if you tell me then I could help you find some free centers that you could visit and talk to.

    Do you hold a military ID card? If you do, you can visit your local family center on base and speak to a therapist there...That's what I did when I went through a major crisis almost 2 years ago.

    If you'd like help with finding a center, I would be more than happy to help you!
  7. I just read a past thread of yours and saw that you used to live in NY (I'm not sure if you have come back to the US yet) but here is a list of crisis hotlines and centers that you can call up:

    New York Suicide & Crisis Hotlines - When You Feel You Can't Go On... Call a Suicide Hotline. / - Direction for immediate crisis intervention for the gravely suicidal & treatment for major clinical suicidal depression.

    ...They're not all for suicide, btw. Please go and talk to somebody. Also you may be able to call the health department and they may be able to point you in the right direction.
  8. This is good advice and what I was going to suggest, there is also medicare and medicaid and programs that will help with presciptions.

    I know depression is a very serious illness, and it sounds like serious you need serious help...we all want to see you better :smile:

    I would be happy to help you and lamiastella said she would too, find some services and programs to help. Please pm one of us if you feel too down to do the research yourself.

    Hang in there, there are alot of people who care.
  9. Oh bubbles! I'm really worried about you! You need to speak with someone. Are there free clinics where you are that offer free councilling? Things will improve but you need to think and be positive. Where is your family? How about close friends? You need them around you!

    I tried PMing you, but your inbox is full. I guess everyone else is concerned and contacting you too. Msg me if you need to talk!

  10. I too am concerned about you. I suffer from depression but am doing very well with lexapro. You can get a prescription for antidepression medication from a General practioner. Tell the office your situation when you call in, they do pro bono work & are very aware of the seriousness of depression. There are many to choose from & they might alternate a few before getting the right one. There are now drug companies that give the RX's for free for those that qualify.
    I know you've been offered alot of help here. Please feel free to PM me too.
    God bless you.
  11. Hugs!! I am sorry you are feeling down. You have to try to look at the positives and not the negatives in your life. I know its hard when your depressed, but write down all of your positives and read them everyday. Life is so wonderful, and we all experience points in our life that our depressing. You will push through. Be strong!
  12. Pls take one of us up on trying to help you help yourself. We really do care and want you to feel better. The quality of life you are living now is not what you deserve.
  13. aw honey... i'm so sorry....
    do u have friends to talk about? i've been going to depression stage too few weeks ago, but i go to my friends, i don't talk about my problems to them although they already know. but they act like normal and it helped me feel normal again. they made me smile and laugh again...
  14. I think you have gotten some good advice, links, and ideas from others about finding help at low, preferably no cost.

    You have a tremendous advantage in that you do have the skills and resources to find what IS available in your community, and the fact that you have posted about what you are going through here shows that you have the innate good sense to take full advantage of whatever you can find.

    Also remember that once you get "hooked up," other doors will open, as you learn about newer programs, and have a foot in the door in terms of referrals.

    You have already done what for some people is the hardest part - recognizing that what you have is an illness that needs treatment, and getting that treatment.

    If you have a friend in whom you can confide, see if they can help you do that initial task of locating the resources that are available to you - and while nobody is going to tell you that the situation is ideal, those resources ARE out there - and make that initial connection, establish a relationship with a new therapist, who may know of separate programs that can help you with medicine.

    Leave no stone unturned. Even if you are not part of any faith-based group, even if you are not even remotely religious, check to see what the various groups in your area are doing in terms of helping people with health challenges. Don't worry, none of them will require you to become a Presbyterian or a Jain or whatever. Also check with service groups like the Junior League and see what they've got going on. You will probably have to repeat your story to a lot of people, which sucks, but just make yourself - and a friend if you can - keep knocking on those doors and one of them will open to reveal a doctor and medicine.

    Some of the drug companies do offer some measure of assistance to people without funds or insurance, and depending on your individual situation, the new therapist may be able to adjust your medicines to maximize the possibilities of that option for you.

    Now of course I will say what nobody is supposed to say to people with depression, and repeat myself in the process! :smile: Look on the bright side. (I bet you'd like to hit me with a big slimy trout now. Go ahead.)

    The bright side is that you DO have that huge advantage of having the abilities and skills within yourself first of all to reach out and ask for help, and to find what's there and make the most of it!
  15. first off, *hugs*. i know exactly how you're feeling and it's hard as hell to deal with. i'm on new meds for it that are only sort of working- and i feel bad because this isn't the first time they haven't worked.

    as for your meds and a therapist..i don't know your whole situation, but i'm sure there are county places to go that will help you out with medication and finding a therapist. luckily, i'm in school and go to the one here, but i'll probably be changing that up soon. just go and explain what happened and what is going on now and see if you can find someone to work with you. a therapist would rather lose a little bit of money than to have someone go back out that is seriously depressed.

    and like someone else listed, call a 800 number, just to talk to someone. i do that ALL the time when i get really overwhelmed- i get to cry and complain and curse and get things off my chest.

    hang in there, sweetie. we'll both make it through, okay? pm me if you ever need to talk, alright? :heart: