In-laws from hell!

  1. BTW, this is going be very, very long!

    Normally I do not like mouthing someone off behind their back, especially when it’s my own (extended) family :p, but I am very cheesed off that I did not go to the London meet yesterday when I was obsessively shifting through 20 dresses to find a suitable one and really looking forward to it. Therefore I am going to be very naughty today - let’s play who has the worst in-laws!

    Without further ado, let me start off with the benchmark on in-laws lawlessness:

    On Friday, both my dad and mum-in-law (hereafter DIL and MIL) sprang a surprise on us by declaring that they would come over to see us in town for lunch because I am pregnant. Conveniently it has to be the day when I made plans to go to the get together with the ladies in this forum in London. But that is not too bad because the meet was at 3pm. So I roasted a leg of lamb for them, timing it to be ready for 1pm.

    This is where the fun begins:

    1) DIL and MIL promised to come at 1pm from what they call a manor in their address when it is a more like cottage in the countryside but no they arrived at 2.30. Their reason? The usual British excuse: the weather. What? It is not like there is a hurricane, it is not even raining and I can tell you are late because you left your house at 1 o’clock!

    2) I am OK with this because I can forgive them for their old age given that they had my husband quite late and they are in their 70s now. By the time they arrived, I was dressed up to go to the get together and guess what is the first thing MIL said when they saw me? She says (I was wearing an off-the-shoulder white tea dress with a lace underlayer that covers up to my neck that I planned to go to the get together with): Do you want to change into something more comfortable for us because we feel really uncomfortable seeing you in that dress?

    That is fine so I got changed and anyway it only takes 2 minutes to put it on again. Once I came downstairs to the dining room with what I usually wear in the house (i.e. Vietnamese Ao Dai), she made a face that implies that it is even worse and laughed: Don’t you have a jumper (does this awful word for sweater exist in American English?) or something? I gather that French people don’t know how to make guests feel at home. I am half English, woman and you are not funny.

    3) Later DIL decides to join in. He said: Your lamb and parsnips could be better, you know? That is because you came 1.5 hours late! Then he looked at me and said that you must have some more lamb. I should be the one saying that but that was not the main issue. I must have looked puzzled because he goes on to tell me that I am too skinny. I am not; I was 5’7” and 110lbs, I am even putting on 5lbs in the past 2 weeks for your grandchild! He then lectured me on why I should be eating lots of dairy products especially his cheese to gain weight. Daddy-in-law, I don’t have a nutritionist for nothing and that is why you weigh 200+lbs!

    You are not going to believe the next bit, it is the one of the most awkward thing I have faced ever. When I went to the kitchen in the basement to put the plates in the sink, he followed and offered to help which is great but when I was messing about with the fridge, he slapped my bum! Then he proceeded to squeeze it! So I turned around but he still held on so now his hand has hooked my body into his groin! I cannot believe what he is doing and I was in a position that could have come out of your X-rated girlie magazine: I could tell that I was slightly leaning back away from him against the fridge otherwise I would have been mouth-to-mouth with him but at the same time his hand was keeping me pressed onto his groin under his beer belly and we were like that for 10 seconds in absolute silence…

    Then he told me that that is why I should be eating more because he can’t get his hand on my bum easily. In his favourite words: ‘You know like a hearty English girl.’ I detest that phrase ‘you know’ but I suppose I now know ‘the hard way’ what I never thought was possible that a 70-year-old man can still function 'downstairs' without any medical assistance - Hugh Hefner would be proud of him.

    This was just the meal and straight afterwards I have to make tea upon their insistence (when they mocked my tea making skills, my tea and making unnecessary comment that old people do such as I am a weirdo for not liking milk with tea). Also during the late lunch, they decided to spring another surprise by presenting us with 4 tickets to go and see Monty Python Spamalot. :wtf: Great, now I have to sit in a theatre bearing the blandest humour on earth: the musical’s best efforts were making politically incorrect jokes which are painfully not hilarious.

    But before that, MIL insisted that she and DIL needs to go for dinner before 8pm start but we just ate at 2.30 and had tea at 4! When I heard that I had to go and see the play I was very grumpy but still pretending that everything was great but when we got to the restaurant they kept making me eat more! I am not surprised why half of the British population is obese when you have MIL and DIL forcing you to stuff yourself! It could not get any worse because MIL decided to play a diva J-Lo style with DIL in support so I had to go and apologise to the waiters on the way to the toilet - talk about English respectability and their pretension to keep it. It is very :sad: and I am even sighing as I type this.

    After the lousy play, they just suddenly decided to say on the pavement: can we sleep over tonight? OK anything for you but please tell me in advance so I can prepare the bed for you. They really like to surprise me, don’t they? So when we got home at about 11.30 and I made the bed, MIL could not resist making a jibe at my white bed linen saying that it is so plain. I was thinking: Are you expecting granny-style floral patterns? I am putting up for you the best bed linen (see pic here and tell me what you think of my bed linen) in London and Paris combined!

    The worst thing about this was my husband who kept apologising to me. He caught me crying in the bathroom for no reason when MIL and DIL went to sleep (not because I was sad or anything but because he was apologising and still apologetic at breakfast this morning) and I feel really bad for making him feel guilty. Ultimately, I think I just have to take it that my DIL and MIL is a bit senile so I should let then do whatever they want. The most worrying thing is will I be like them when I am old and wrinkly?

    P.S. BTW, you can laugh at me, LOL. Everybody says I have the perfect marriage: the propriety, the house, the ideal husband but I have the in-laws from hell! Anyway let us hear your stories because I am sure my one is nothing and someone can beat it!
     
  2. Oh, Bee...as always your commentary is so entertaining and I must admit I LOL'd (not at your situation, though). My jaw dropped when I got to the part about your DIL. I don't have any in-laws yet but having been in a long-term relationship I do know what it's like feeling obliged to appease the SO's parents while gritting the teeth. Hang in there!

    And BTW, your linens are BEAUTIFUL!
     
  3. I don't have any horror stories to share. My in-laws aren't too bad. Your story makes me thankful that my in-laws can't really speak English so I don't have to talk or listen to them! ;) You don't see them often right? That's ok then. I see mine once a week for dinner. No talking though, just eat and run. :wlae:

    Sorry you missed the get together. It would have been fun. You can look back at this day and laugh. Your DIL's actions shocked me though! Eeewww!

    PS. Your linen is lovely.
    PPS. You where ao dai in the house?? :shocked:
    PPPS. What's wrong with "jumper"?
     
  4. Oh god. so sorry to hear your parents in law are like that..
    Did your husband ever fuss at them for acting like that with you??

    and I cannot believe your Father in-law grabbed you like that?:o errr.. ? did you tell your husband? cause that's just O.O
    I know you might not want to hurt your husband by telling him but he deserves to know :/

    I know they are older in age but you deserve respect..You are an important part of their family. their son's wife..

    My parents in-law are wonderful in all honesty. both of them are such kind hearted people.

    Best wishes to you..hope all of this changes to the better*hugs*

    p.s. your linen is beautiful!!
     
  5. :wtf:

    well first of all i'd like the number of your nutritionist :graucho:

    and your inlaws would probably kill themselves at my house (shall i invite them for dinner? ;) ), i don't even have milk in the house because i think it's :yucky: , especially in tea, and all my sheets are white and the only pattern you'll find on them is a self stripe :lol:
     
  6. Oh dear Bee, they are not in-laws, they are out-laws. There comes a time in every woman's life when you just have to say enough! That old codger disrespected you in the worst possible way and I'm afraid I would have slapped his face. (sorry if that's going too far, but he went too far). As for the MIL, she wouldn't know beautiful linen if it bit her on her wrinkly old behind. Your linen is BEAUTIFUL. Hugs to you.
     
  7. :wtf: Wow:wtf:

    Okay. Well. If I were the originator of this thread, my title would have been MUCH different. It would have read something like, "I've just killed my father-in-law and his body can be found in the basement amongst broken dishes wrapped in beautiful but bloody white sheets with a half-eaten leg of lamb and a couple of parsnips (whatever they are) stuffed up his you-know-what. There are now 4 tickets to see Monty Python up for bids on eBay as I will now be going off to prison for the rest of my natural life. I will miss you lovely ladies here on tPf but will try to sneak in a post here and there should I ever earn privileges to use the prison library computer" . THAT would have been the title of my thread.

    How in the world did you even continue on with your day after an assult like that?!?! I feel really horrible for you.:sad: Forget the tea, the sheets, the show, the lamb, the jumper/sweater, the comments about your weight. Those things PALE in comparison to what that man did to you. He was completely disrespectful to you as a woman and especially as is daughter-in-law and your husband as his own son! :push:

    It sounds like you were trying to be the perfect wife and daughter in law. You sound like a very, very lovely lady with impeccable manners and the intestinal fortitude to deal with a very difficult situation. Me? All of HELL would have broken loose in that house.

    I think you should have a heart to heart with your husband. Immediately.

    Good luck with this situation and with the baby.:heart:
     
  8. I used to have the in-laws from hell (note the 'used to'). Fortunately you seem to be having a much more stable marriage than mine.

    My MIL had this bee in her bonnet that women should excercise a great deal when they were pregnant so that the baby would be small and it would be an easy delivery. I had awful morning sickness (the rare situation where people get extreme sickness throughout the day). I did not appreciate my ma-in-law visiting and telling me that I had to sweep under the beds, carry buckets of water around to water the plants and haul large amounts of shopping just so I could get my 'excercise'! She never told me when she was going to visit, so when she came over it was a bit like the police coming with a search warrant to check if I had dust under the bed. If she ever told me they were coming by, they were always late.

    I can't count the number of times i've been asked to change by my in-laws because they didn't like what I was wearing. I never wore inappropriate clothes or anything not suitable for company, but it seemed to be just another way for my MIL to show her control over me. Oh, and I should mention that on a day that we had to return from a day trip unexpectedly and found my sis-in-law showing her best friend my underwear from my travel bag.

    MIL had a bad relationship with her husband and she needed my then husband to come over and do everything - take her shopping, change the lightbulbs, take her to the doctor which he had to do promptly for fear of hurting her feelings. If we went someplace in the car, my husband would be in the driver's seat, and she'd sit in the front passenger seat and have a conversation all the way with him, with me being ignored in the rear.

    I had a SIL who was a carbon copy of her mother, except for dragging my husband along for every little thing.

    If what had happend to you happened to me, I'd throw an enormous fit and tell hubby they were not to be allowed in my house again. It can't be more awkward that when your husband's dad tries to grope your behind! I hope you tell your husband the whole situation and explain why you are not comfortable having them over. You were being an angel in the face of such awful behaviour, and your bed linens are beautiful.

    Maybe you should come to the US sooner rather than later?
     
  9. sorry bee....bee but I have to agree with everyone - you can pass everything off as senility, old age, inlaw -hell, whatever
    BUT groping you is NOT ok - in fact absolutely not, and you should tell your husband. He should tell his father to back off - please, where did that man take such courage from?

    To give you an example: my father will leave the room when my brother's wife decides to unpack her boob to feed her child (don't want to get into this discussion - I am all for BF, in fact I did so but I still don't think that it is necessary to flash your boob in your PIL living room - go into another room). my point is: not looking, never mind touching....

    as for the rest - positively awful but you have a great husband. i would reply in some way or form though - I have all the respect for my PIL but when a joke gets too much or out of hand I joke back for them to understand that I have had enough.

    apart from that: I have some close members of family (married into) I don't get along with, mainly bec they have a big problem with me (for being there and being who I am) and I know it is super annoying as you don't want to spoil a situation etc. I had to learn to speak up for myself and get the elbows out once in a while. It works wonders, it is just a question of how you do it.
     
  10. LOL!:roflmfao: :roflmfao: :roflmfao:
     
  11. ITA
     
  12. Aww Bee, im so sorry about that experience... I ALSO hate milk in tea, hate it in general, actually and I only sleep on white bed sheets, btw, yours are very nice. And I also cant stand the word "jumper'.. lol... omg

    But, I would def. tell you husband that his father grabbed your butt, and see what HE has to say about that.. and dont feel bad that your DH is apologizing for them, its good that he accepted that their vile behaviour was getting to you and not ignoring it like my BF does...

    Ugh, my BF has such pride for his parents that they can shoot someone down in bloody murder and he wouldnt blink and eye, so imagine how he acts to me when I tell him what they did and how it hurt/annoyed me... so pathetic..
     
  13. Boy, I dont know who I was more anxious to divorce, my ex or my inlaws.
     
  14. Maybe your DIL mistook you for one of the wenches on his demesne.
     
  15. oh,my...parents in law can be difficult at time and need to be respected, but your father in law touching you like that is really inappropriate.
    your bed linen are fabulous. i too personally like white/cream bed linen. i dislike those busy multicolour designs. take care and all the best w/ your pregnancy!