..I'm getting backed into a corner by my aunt...

  1. I absolutely cannot believe what my aunt told me last night...

    I finally confronted her about me babysitting Nicole all the time, and do you know what she had the nerve to say?!

    She basically said something along the lines of:

    I can't afford to stay home and sit on my ass all day, I need to go to work so that I can afford all of this and take care of my daughter. I can't take her to work with me, and since you don't want to take care of her, what do you expect me to do? Adjust her sleep schedule so that she'll be sleeping while I'm at work???

    Now...I'm not sure if she would actually do that or not. But I wouldn't discount it. When Nicole was a baby (under a year), my aunt went grocery shopping for an hour and a half while Nicole was home alone sleeping in her crib. She got hell about this from our family, and from what I understand it hasn't really happened since then.

    She's really starting to back me into a corner here. I really don't care about not getting paid anymore, as long as Nicole is being taken care of...

    ...I honestly feel sorry for Nicole sometimes. She has a mother who doesn't have any time for her and a father who has to work so hard and such long hours just so that they can afford their home and food.
  2. Not sure what made her say this but judging from what she said, she sounds very unappreciatiing and rude! Don't let her twist your words-remind her of the sacrifices you have to make to take care of Nicole too.
  3. Do you live together?
  4. I'm so sorry about your situation right now, and I'm sorry that your aunt, uncle, and cousin have found themselves in this situation. But this isn't your fault, and you're not the only alternative for your aunt to pursue. If she and her husband are working full time and simply can't make ends meet enough to afford child care, there are state programs that they can apply for to help them. This situation is exactly why state aid and welfare exist, and until one of the parents can get a better paying job or Nicole goes to school, a state-sponsored daycare program could really help them out. You could still watch Nicole on occasion, but you wouldn't feel obligated to raise her like you do now.

    The reaction from your aunt doesn't seem to be one of anger towards you, but anger towards her entire life situation. She needs more help than you can give her at the moment, and I would encourage her to look into state-sponsored programs for lower income families. Even potential tax breaks that they may not be taking advantage of could help. She should pursue any state-sponsored aid or advice that she is eligible for. I hope that this helps and that your situation improves soon!
  5. Oh, I just noticed that you're in Germany! I don't know how state-sponsored aid programs work there, I'm in the US, but I hope that there is a program that your aunt might be eligible for!
  6. No, but we live in the same town.
  7. There are similar programs here in Germany, but they aren't elegible for any of them since they make quite a bit of money...They just have a lot of bills (mortgage, expensive cars, etc) so there's not too much left at the end of my uncle's paycheck and she uses a portion of her paycheck on "her time" (is what she says...).
  8. Maybe they should get cheaper cars instead of guilting you about it!!!! If they make a lot of money, but use it in a poor way, then that's THEIR problem, not yours!
  9. Oh trust me...I've brought this up before with other family members, but I don't have the guts (and don't really think it's my place) to lecture others about their finances...
  10. You got that right Sanguar! Dont let her guilt you into taking care of her daughter. In the end she is not your responsibility.
  11. Your aunt is attempting to manipulate you into feeling bad and continuing to babysit for free. The fact that she would threaten to disrupt her own child's sleeping patterns as a way to manipulate you is rather disturbing. You really need to stand up to her - otherwise god knows what she'll do to that little girl as she gets older, seriously she needs to know that younger people have feelings and demands and should be respected.
  12. Wow your aunt seems like a piece of work. i understand feeling sorry for that child. obviously they don't have their priorities straight....I'm sure they would be able to afford things if they didn't have such a big house and cars etc but seems like your aunt and uncle are really attached to material possessions over the well being of their child. It's incredibly silly and I can't understand people like that. Aren't you going to school soon? Does she know about that? Are you planning on babysitting Nicole even while in school?
  13. Is there a German equivalent to the Department of Social Services Child Protection Department? If so, sounds like "Mama" needs a visit from them.

    As I said on your other thread: it's not YOUR responsibility to raise THEIR child.

    By the way, how does the rest of your family feel about how you are being abused by your aunt and uncle?
  14. your aunt apparently can't adjust to motherhood. I am feeling so sorry for the child, but you really need to stand up to this. I know it might hurt, but you just need to stop babysitting or shall i say, being a mother? Your aunt is bluffing.. Have you told any of your family members about this? I would worry about the child too, but as long as you let this go on, NOTHING will change.
  15. Yep, I'm starting school in October...and I won't be able to babysit her then. I have told her numerous times, but I guess she'll get it on October 4th when I'm not there to babysit anymore...

    The rest of my family also works and/or goes to school, and they all think it's BS too and they have said things (not straight forward, but have expressed their disapproval to her) about it.

    Is it bad enough that she constantly calls me mommy and doesn't want to go home with her mother when she picks her up?

    Honestly you guys...the thing that worries me worst about having to say "I can't babysit anymore" is that she is going to do something like have Nicole sleep during the day and leave her home alone, as she's done it before but when Nicole was much younger....

    I don't want to think that she would do this, but I wouldn't put it past her. UGHHH! Why can't it be October already?