i'm feeling very guilty

[marspalm]

i'm graduating high school in a couple of weeks and as a graduation present i said i wanted a tennis bracelet never thinking i would get one. While, my grandparents took me to our jewelry store and i picked out a beautiful one. I love and its exactly as i had been picturing. But, it was $3000 so when i came home my mother started yelling about how spoiled i was and how could i even ask them to buy me something like that. My grandparents are very well off and have no problem spending the money but now i feel awful and guilty. I even spoke to my grandfather about it and what my mother said and he basically said its yours i bought it for you unless you dont want it. But i really do want it, but i also know that they have 5 more grandchildren after me and will have to get them the same $ amount of present.... Should i tell them to not get it for me? They already have it and its my dream present but now i am feeling so guilty and like i am really being a "spoiled brat"... on the other hand i worked hard to get out of hs and into college but hard enough for that? idk... any suggestions? what would you do?
sorry for going on for so long but this has been bothering me for a couple weeks and i just don't know what to do... thanks for any help

 

[Kat]

If your grandparents did not want to buy it for you or if they did not want you to have it they would not have gotten it for you. It is that simple. Do not feel guilty. Accept this present from them graciously and treasure it always!

 

[Irishgal]

First, your grandparents probably got a big thrill out of being able to buy you something so special. One of the best things about having money is that you can make others happy. In my opinion, being "spoiled" is really more a reflection of how you treat people and how you conduct yourself, not a reflection of how much material goods you possess. So, if you act rude, mean and treat others poorly you are spoiled. Asking for a swell gift does not mean you are spoiled.
One word of advice from an older girl/woman, forget the guilt, it will get in your way of enjoying the nice things live has to offer.
Good luck sweetie.

 

[fr2nc1z]

Truthfully, your GPs situation is very different from your mother's (it sounds like). Plus, it is their gift, not hers.

I see no problem with it being that they wanted to give you that bracelet.

 

[Blue824]

Nope, don't feel bad, if your grandparents were uncomfortable with the gift, they wouldn't have bought it for you. I've found that grandparents really like to get you gifts they know you'll enjoy and remember. So now, like 20 years from now when you put on that bracelet, you'll remember your graduation and your grandparents and all that good stuff.

 

[annemerrick]

If you were spoiled...I don't think you would even be posting about your guilt here!! Enjoy the gift....my father-in-law bought my 4 and 6 year old kids laptops...which I thought was completely ridiculous....but it made him really happy!! I am sorry that your mom made you feel bad about it....enjoy the bracelet....and GET IT INSURED!!!!!

 

[marspalm]

First, your grandparents probably got a big thrill out of being able to buy you something so special. One of the best things about having money is that you can make others happy. In my opinion, being "spoiled" is really more a reflection of how you treat people and how you conduct yourself, not a reflection of how much material goods you possess. So, if you act rude, mean and treat others poorly you are spoiled. Asking for a swell gift does not mean you are spoiled.
One word of advice from an older girl/woman, forget the guilt, it will get in your way of enjoying the nice things live has to offer.
Good luck sweetie.

thanks so much that makes me feel so much better! my mother is always making me feel guilty and because of that there are so many times that i turn my grandparents down when they offer to buy me something and they get almost offended at that so its very conflicting... I hate being called spoiled i always take extra care to never flaunt anything or whatever lol but my mom always pulls what i like to call the spoiled card its a guaranteed guilt trip for me... I always try to make everyone happy so its hard when people are mad at me :shame: but my grandfather says that my mother is just jealous that they could never afford stuff like that for her when she was growing up its all starting to sound very childish but that doesnt keep it from bothering me...

 

[Itsabagslife]

While I can understand your mother's point of view, I think that she should understand that it was a gift to you from your Grandparents and it's their way of showing how much they dote on you!

Cherish and enjoy the bracelet.

 

[marspalm]

Nope, don't feel bad, if your grandparents were uncomfortable with the gift, they wouldn't have bought it for you. I've found that grandparents really like to get you gifts they know you'll enjoy and remember. So now, like 20 years from now when you put on that bracelet, you'll remember your graduation and your grandparents and all that good stuff.

Thats what i thought, if i just got a gift like a gift card to ikea yes its practical but this i will have forever... I am really glad you guys agree with me i was really beginning to question myself lol and well i didnt want to give the bracelet back its very pretty :shame:

 

[Irishgal]

thanks so much that makes me feel so much better! my mother is always making me feel guilty and because of that there are so many times that i turn my grandparents down when they offer to buy me something and they get almost offended at that so its very conflicting... I hate being called spoiled i always take extra care to never flaunt anything or whatever lol but my mom always pulls what i like to call the spoiled card its a guaranteed guilt trip for me... I always try to make everyone happy so its hard when people are mad at me :shame: but my grandfather says that my mother is just jealous that they could never afford stuff like that for her when she was growing up its all starting to sound very childish but that doesnt keep it from bothering me...

Well, now is a great time to begin the process of learning to let go of the need "to make everyone happy". Having that as your goal in life will lead to a long and miserable existance. Not to say to be selfish, but not everyone is going to be happy or agree with you, ever. Get used to that feeling.

 

[marspalm]

Truthfully, your GPs situation is very different from your mother's (it sounds like). Plus, it is their gift, not hers.

I see no problem with it being that they wanted to give you that bracelet.

well its a family business that they all work in but my mother is much more of a saver lol she refuses to take vacations and puts off spending money to the last minute in fact she thinks this little purse obsession is insane so i think its just more of the fact that she spends her money differently. and i just wish that she could see its not her choice on what they give me and that i really didnt talk them into it

 

[marspalm]

Well, now is a great time to begin the process of learning to let go of the need "to make everyone happy". Having that as your goal in life will lead to a long and miserable existance. Not to say to be selfish, but not everyone is going to be happy or agree with you, ever. Get used to that feeling.

lol i really do need to work on that! but i'm a sucker for a guilt trip gets me everytime

 

[rebecca15]

i just think it might bother your mom bc she might not be able to afford to get your something that expensive. but if your grandparents dont have a problem with it, then thank them graciously and slap on that beautiful bracelet!!! and CONGRATS on graduating! it is a once-in-a-lifetime thing!!

 

[marspalm]

i just think it might bother your mom bc she might not be able to afford to get your something that expensive. but if your grandparents dont have a problem with it, then thank them graciously and slap on that beautiful bracelet!!! and CONGRATS on graduating! it is a once-in-a-lifetime thing!!

lol thanks for the congrats, lol my mom's reasoning was everyone graduates from hs why get her a bigger gift now? what happens when she graduates from college?
But i am really starting to feel like i am in the right lol which might just be because its kind of late but i have been a very good problem free child no crazy partying, she has no trust issues with me, and i even made the choice to stay close to home and i picked Rutgers, which i dont know if everyone is familiar with, but in state its very cheap as far as colleges go, can't she just over look one little splurge? I dont even ask her to indulge my purses... its all me lol so right now i am kinda feeling like she should back off of me a little bit, when i look around at school and see the kids other parents have to deal with...she definitely had it pretty easy. if it sounds like i am tooting my own horn i don't mean to i'm just saying i'm not a bad kid

 

[satine112]

you know, we ALL worked hard to "get out of hs" and "into college". That is insulting that you are using that as an excuse.

Other than that part, which deeply bothered me for some reason, i think you should keep the bracelet. Your mother is obviously jealous. You are a lucky girl!