I'm bummed about my upcoming wedding...

CandyJanney

CandyJanney

Squishy Leather!
O.G.
Sep 27, 2006
3,641
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#1
I don't know where else to vent. I'm so unbelievably sad and just need to get it all out.

I'm getting married June 2nd. I'm from Missouri and he's from Virginia but right now we live in Boston. We decided to get married in Virginia because it's a nice middle ground and easier for us to get to and from then Missouri is. Now I'm regretting not having it in Missouri. I just got finished with the guest list and it looks like there will be 80 people there and not one of them will be from my family... Yes my parents will be there and my sisters are bridesmaids as well as my only 2 real girl friends, but that's it. Not a single relative is going to be able to come.. Not even my grandparents. I just feel so awful right now. I've always been all about family but I feel betrayed almost and I know it's not their fault. My entire family is dirt poor, so I guess I should have expected this but still. I am just terrified to think that my wedding is going to be filled with people I do not know. I don't even feel like this is my wedding anymore... I dunno I'm guessing this is common when you have out of state weddings...

Anyways, I'm just stressing about that right now.. My younger sister's wedding was full of our relatives and her bajillion friends, this stinks.
 
#2
I'm sorry to hear about your wedding. Is there any way you can do another smaller reception in your hometown after your wedding for your family? I am from Hawaii and a lot of people do this when they get married out of state.
 
#3
I'm sorry Candy. I do think that is something to be bummed about, as it does indeed add to your special day being surrounded and witnessed by those you love most.
IF, the date is in stone as is the place...the ONLY thing you can do is put a spin on your thoughts. Focus on the wedding basics which are 1. You've got your man! 2. You've got the preacher! That's the cake...the rest is just icing!
Easier said than done, I know. But, sometimes it takes that paradigm shift to get it going positive again.
Hang in there...
 
#5
Oh Candy, first of all, congratulations on getting married soon!!!
:yahoo:
Is there any way other family members can help get other family members (grandparents) there? I understand you have so much to take care of already, but are there any options to have the wedding guests more balanced?
 
#6
I'm sorry that your relatives can't make it! I agree that you should have a smaller ceremony for the relatives that can't make it.


You could either set up a webcam of the ceremony so the relatives could watch it live, or videotape it and then send the videotapes to the relatives.
 
#7
I totally agree with the other posts ... you can have another reception in your hometown so your relatives can attend, including your grandparents. Just think how happy everyone will be!

I went through the same thing. I got married in CA and most of my relatives are on the east coast. Many friends of the family who I would have loved to have at my wedding were unable to attend. But ... these things are just part of life.

I would HIGHLY recommend that you hire a videographer, so that you can send a copy of your wedding to people that were unable to attend like your grandparents. I'm sure they would truly appreciate it!
 
#8
Those are great ideas! I wonder if I could do a little something in Missouri after the fact. I'll have to talk to my mother about it. She's not helping either, I expressed how upset I was and all I get is "Well, that's what you get for having an out of state wedding." Thanks Mom. =P

I wish I could at least help pay for my grandparents to come down but we're just starting out and have no extra income. The Palmers are a very poor bunch so that's out of the question. =P

augh I just hate the idea of my big day being surrounded by strangers.. >_<
 
#9
rileygirl said:
I'm sorry to hear about your wedding. Is there any way you can do another smaller reception in your hometown after your wedding for your family? I am from Hawaii and a lot of people do this when they get married out of state.
Click to expand...

That's just what I was going to recommend. That way it doesn't have be such an expense but still you'll be able to celebrate with your family and friends.

I hope it all works out:smile:
 
#11
candypalmer said:
I'll have to talk to my mother about it. She's not helping either, I expressed how upset I was and all I get is "Well, that's what you get for having an out of state wedding." Thanks Mom. =P
Click to expand...

I know, I got the same response from my mom. Well, since I moved across the country from MI to CA and I'm never moving back, I will always have the eternal guilt trip on my shoulders. And I did not want to have my wedding in MI, so I didn't. I hear ya sister!
 
#12
I agree-have something in yoru hometown. Doesnt have to be anything fancy-rent the local VFW hall and have all your family and friends come and bring a dish-then you can celebrate with them also!
 
#13
caitlin1214 said:
I'm sorry that your relatives can't make it! I agree that you should have a smaller ceremony for the relatives that can't make it.


You could either set up a webcam of the ceremony so the relatives could watch it live, or videotape it and then send the videotapes to the relatives.
Click to expand...


Such a good idea!!:nuts:
 
#14
yeah, i agree with some of the girls... u can always have 2 receptions.
make the one in missouri more about family and close friends, a wedding doesn't have to be expensive :P
just make it... FUN :yes:
 
#15
Oh it's not gonna be a big wedding. We're hoping to not spend more then 7k on it. We're doing a lot of the stuff ourselves to save cash. =) Thanks everyone, I feel a little bit better talking about it.
 
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