I made a possibly dangerous bad decision about a guy, what should i do?

  1. I recently met a guy on myspace, and started talking to him frequently. I didn't know him before he added me. He asked me if I wanted to meet sometime, and I said ok. The plan was for him to come to OC (he lives in LA). He came down today and I met him at Coffee Bean. The first thing he said was that his wallet had recently been stolen, so he needed to go to the bank to make a withdrawal ... I was thinking, um it's Sunday - the bank is going to be closed - but we went to a bank (it was closed). So I thought, he just came down from LA, I can't just tell him to go home, so let's just go get something to eat, I'll pay if I have to. I was pretty angry at him for being so irresponsible, but I didn't really know what to do. So here was the bad decision: I brought him to my house because I needed to get my wallet that had my credit card. While we're there he tells me that he took the TRAIN from LA, and he thinks he might miss the last one, and asks if he can stay at my house for the night if so ! I was like, um no!!!! Who asks this of someone they've known for an hour?? Basically he wouldn't leave! So I was like, I can take you home, I can find a hotel for you to stay at, trying to think of a solution. Then he started trying to touch me and asking me why I want him to leave. So I started to freak out. I just needed to get him out of my house and suggested we go to the beach. Then on the way out I pretended that I forgot my phone, went in, and locked the door behind me. He was knocking on my door, asking what he was supposed to do, and I was just like, I DON'T CARE, FIGURE IT OUT. Then he called a couple people and started speaking in Italian and finally he's gone. I don't know if he found a ride home, or where he went ... I'm kinda scared since I live by myself (although my neighbors would call the police if they heard anything). Now this guy knows where I live and I don't think he's too happy with me at the moment. I could call the police but I'm not sure there's much they can do ...
     
  2. OMG! I don't have any advice on the top of my head, but my heart's still pounding after reading this. I hope you stay safe, and when anything fishy happens, call the police! I'm so glad you got him OUT of your place.
     
  3. Call the cops and tell them some strange guy is hanging around your house. Describe him because he might be roaming your neighborhood. Also, NEVER INVITE ANYONE TO YOUR HOUSE YOU DON'T KNOW! Shame on you.
     
  4. i'd still contact the police and ask what advice they give regarding your safety. you may have to listen to a lot of: 'you shouldn't have done this or that' but it is better to get their input. you may have a case against the guy anyway bec he touched you without you wanting that - never mind you took him to your home - that is sexual harrassment for sure. you know who he is, isn't it?

    you are already beating yourself up over this and probably know what you should or shouldn't have done, but I'll still say that: never meet a person you only know for a short time or over the internet even in the city you live.

    btw, I am not sure if this is any consolation but he may just have thought this would be a fun night or something - in the end he got someone to pick him up, isn't it? he may have gotten the wrong ideas but maybe not necessarily dangerous ones. I would not go out in darkness by yourself right now, at least for a little while. maybe get a friend to sleep over - power is in numbers - or go to a friend's house for a few nights
     
  5. ^^ OUCH, that is so harsh and cold, HW! i don't think that's what she needs at the moment!

    soshesaid, be careful when you're getting in and out of the house. look around. make sure you have your cell phone on you at all times and have several people (including the cops!) on speed dial. also, i would stalk his myspace just to try and see what he might be up to or if he has history. you made a bad decision, but so have we all. stay safe and keep us updated!
     
  6. ^^sure and you telling her to go out of her house to look for the guy is better??? Ummkay.
     
  7. OMG!!!! WHAT A FREAK!!!!!! I would call the police. At least there will be a record of a call "just in case" also you can ask them to drive up and down your street more often. Do you have a friend that you can stay at or even have them stay with you for a few days.

    Be carfeful and keep us updated!!!!!
     
  8. OMG!! That is a nightmare, luckily you thought of a quick solution, I would tell the police, on myspace leave him a message saying that the way the meeting went was not supposed to happen like than, basically leave it, do not contact him again. He should do likewise, I am just glad that you were ok! I was shaking reading your thread, thank goodness you are safe. We all make mistakes, take care.X
     
  9. Oh jeez!!

    Talk to the police and also talk to your neighbors! Explain the situation and give them a detailed description of what he looks like - if you can, print a picture from his myspace and give it to your neighbors. If they see him hanging aorund, they can let you know.
     
  10. Whoah! OK, file an incident report at your police station. I'm not sure, but it sounds like a possible assault and battery. I would file a report and if you ever see hide or hair of him again, inform him that assault charges are forthcoming. (The police will likely take an incident report but actual charges will likely not be filed but he doesn't have to know that now does he)
    Do not contact him. Not even to say you are mad about it. Do not contact him. Even if you are furious. Do not contact him.
    If he attempts to contact you, ignore him. If he persists, tell him you will file charges. Tell your neighbors, tell your friends. And be careful out there OK.
     
  11. Wow. creepy.

    He sounds like a moocher, these guys never have their wallet on them and try to go through life mooching off others for their own benefit. There's a good chance this guy is harmless since he went away eventually, and didn't force himself on you (thank goodness) because he was literally inside your home.

    let us know you are okay...
     
  12. lol, what????! :rolleyes:

     
  13. I agree with HubbaWubba 100%. Here are the simple warning signs that you missed:

    _______________________________

    I recently met a guy on myspace, and started talking to him frequently
    _______________________________

    Am I the only person left on the face of this earth that thinks it's a little strange to meet guys on Myspace?

    _______________________________

    The first thing he said was that his wallet had recently been stolen, so he needed to go to the bank to make a withdrawal
    _______________________________

    Right then and there I would have left. This is one of THE most common scam artist ploys.

    _______________________________

    I brought him to my house because I needed to get my wallet that had my credit card
    _______________________________

    Here's biggest mistake #1. You met this guy on MYSPACE, and you're taking him to your house??????? The title of your thread says that you "made a possibly dangerous decision". Nope; I'm pretty sure you DEFINATELY made a dangerous decision.

    Call the police immediately. HubbaWubba might sound harsh to some people, but she's only being honest.
     
  14. I agree with Hubba Wubba. NEVER put yourself in this kind of situation again.

    For starters if you choose to meet someone like that again. Meet in public for coffee or lunch (like you did...:smile: ) but tell them you only have an hour because you have plans. This gives you an out. If things are going well and you want to spend more time you can always say your friends cancelled or whatever.

    NEVER leave with them in your (or their) car. NEVER. If you choose to continue the date you MUST drive seperate cars.

    NEVER, EVER disclose you physical address or take them to your home. NEVER!!!

    I doubt the police are going to do anything. In fact it sounds like this guy didn't do anything legal. In his defense if I was a guy that just met a woman and she took me to her home I would assume it was for sex.

    Don't beat yourself up over this but please, I urge you to learn from this and be much more careful in the futre.
     
  15. This all sounds well dodgy, why would you need a credit card to get some coffee/lunch, do you not carry any money with you??