I lost my beloved sister on May 21, 2007

  1. My sister recently passed away after a long battle with cancer. I am deeply saddened by this loss and would like to ask you guys for a favor:
    Can you please advice me on how to cope with a loss of a loved one?
    Also, prayers are needed at this time of grief...

    Thank you.
     
  2. My deepest condolences for your loss. I'm afraid I can't offer much comfort or advice, but I will certainly keep you in my prayers.
     
  3. I want to offer my condolences as well. This is a hard period of a person's life, and you'll need a lot of time and support to get through it. You'll be in my prayers as I'm sure you'll be in that of many other members here :smile:
     
  4. i'm so sorry to hear that. *big hugs*

    The loss and sadness eases slowly with time and it's a difficult journey filled with alot of mixed emotions.

    We're all here for you.
    *HUGS*
     
  5. Im so sorry for your loss.. i dont think i can say anything that would make your sadness go away.. i just pray that you will be able to go through with with so much courage and the best way i think is to keep praying for your sister..
     
  6. Hi there,

    My condolences are also with you & your family....

    As for coping--I think you can look on the brighter side and know that shes in a better place and is not in pain anymore..
     
  7. My prayers are with you and your family. My only advice is to not rush yourself to get over things. It may take a looooong time, but she was your sister. Just take things nice and slow.
     
  8. My prayers are with you. I am so sorry for you and your family. Grief is a hard thing to deal with. I lost my mother to cancer 4+years ago and it is still hard. I think for the first few months you just feel numb. The only thing I can say is it slowly does get better. At first I had so much anger about things and all that she was missing with her only grandkids (my kids). It just wasn't fair. I also had questions about her health care because she had stomach problems for years and her doctor did nothing, no tests. So this haunted me that she could have had medical help if she had a doctor who actually said they wanted to find out why she had problems instead of saying everything was nerves or heartburn. I do cherish the memories we had and can now laugh at things she did, but I still feel she is missing so much. I do think she is our angel. Especially to my children. I am sorry for going on. I just want to tell you a incident that happened last year. My daughter and I were ourside blowing bubbles and as they went to the sky she kept saying they are for her grandmother. She was just so excited that the bubbles were going to heaven and she was talking to her grandmother to catch the bubbles. Then we came in to the house and she went to her room and moved furniture to open her curtains, wood blinds, double lock on the windows and opened the 2nd story window to try to yell at the kids house that is in the corner of our yard. Yep---the screen gave and she fell out the window and did a somersault and her tiny butt landed in a small plastic trash can compost bucket I just put on the deck that day when I was washing the kitchen floor. THe deck is only about 4 X 6. It has railings then goes down 3 feet to a huge concrete patio. She could have killed herself. She came inside and shut her windows, blinds and acted like nothing happened, did not tell us till about a hour later when she said I would be mad at her. She was not hurt except for a small bruise where her back hit the bucket. She did go to the hospital and they said she was fine.
    In my heart I believe my mother was watching out for her--this gives me peace. So in spite of everything I truly feel my mom is our angel.
     
  9. I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
     
  10. I am very sorry. The only advice I can give you is to not bottle everything up. Even if you don't want to talk to anyone about what you're feeling, take yourself off into a nice quiet place, maybe a garden or someplace that was special to you & your sister & talk to her about your feelings.

    When my beloved Grandfather died very suddenly I found he was the only person I could talk to. At the time I used to drive alot for my work so I used to tlak to him as I was driving along. I would tell him how much I missed him & how angry I was at him for leaving me like that & all the others things that I felt I needed to tell someone, but just couldn't bring myself to.

    I found it a great comfort I hope you find it a comfort too. :flowers:
     
  11. My regards.
     
  12. I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I don't have much advice, I can only share with you my experience with grief but then everyone's grief is so different and personal. I lost my dad suddenly on May 5, 2006. I was in a state of shock for probably 2 months. After that, I would be sad all the time and I still couldn't really believe he was gone and would fantasize that I could see him one more time. I remember before I went through grief myself, I use to read about denial and it would never make sense to me that people wouldn't truly believe that their loved ones are gone, but now I totally understand. Its I knew that he was gone, but I couldn't accept it. Then I started feeling a lot of anger as well, probably 6 months into the grieving process and getting mad at all my friends who had "normal" lives or would think that life has moved on. After the 1 yr mark, I am still sad but I know that I have at least accepted it and the pain has diminished. I don't cry every single day like I use to and it hurts less if I talk about him. I think now I can smile more thinking about his memory where as in the beginning all I focused on was his death.
    My prayers go out to you and your family during this difficult time.
     
  13. My deepest sympathy to you during these heartbreaking days. No one escapes the grief of losing someone they love and we all handle it differently. I pray that in time you will come to terms with your loss and pay homage to your sister by remembering her with a smile.
     
  14. Thank you guys so much for all the advices, support, sympathy and prayers. Reading all your posts helped out to validate what I was feeling for awhile was normal and nothing selfish..You see, I felt angry (sometimes still do) and sad as well because my sister will never know/get to spend time with my three month old baby (and she was such a very good Aunt to my 5 year old) But as some of you guys said too, to help ease the pain a little bit-I try to think of her as our guardian angel now...

    Thank you again..you fellow TPFers are the best. :smile:
     
  15. Yes the anger is normal. I didn't feel anger when my dad died until I went to my friend's wedding 6 months after he died, and then I started feeling so angry because my dad would never see me get married, and then it started me on this anger train!