I dont think i know how to be happy

  1. What does it mean to be "happy"?

    Does having a good job and good friends and a good partner mean i should be happy??

    I have all this but i still feel miserable and its starting to affect my job and my personal relationships. My partner is at a loss of what he can do to make me better and hes tried everything and i still feel this way. Am i missing something in life? is he not the one for me?

    I cry at the smallest things and i start fights with him on purpose because i want to hurt him. What kind of person does that?? i always feel so horrible after because i know he has my best intentions at heart and would never do anything to hurt me.

    Please help. I dont know what to do. Am i doomed to be miserable?
     
  2. To me, being happy means being content with all or a majority of the things in my life. There will always be things that don't go the way you want them to, but the best thing (for me) to do is to accept them the way they are and make the best out of it - especially if there is nothing I can do to change it.

    Happiness also means having friends and family that love me and care for me, feeling my baby kick me in inopportune moments and makes me run to the bathroom (lol), etc.

    If you're feeling miserable all the time, I'd suggest maybe seeing a doctor and a Psychologist (or Psychiatrist - I don't know the difference) and maybe talking through these things. It could be that you are depressed, and before that it turns into something bigger it would be best to talk to somebody.

    Hope that things are looking up for you soon :idea:
     
  3. Belini,
    These emotions sound familiar...what worked for my is talking to a medical professional ASAP, before you lose everyone and everything around you. It is a very difficult step to take, but once you get help, things really start to make sense. It's hard to see things on your own and it is a terrible postition for you loved ones to be in, because they love you and want to make you happy, but they do not know how to help you. Please talk to someone about what you are feeling. You are very fortunate to have a great partner who loves you and will support you. :flowers:
     
  4. I have gone to see people who suggested some self help books which didnt really help. Apparently im not "bad" enough to need medication.

    I just need to stop feeling sorry for myself.
     
  5. hey Belini,

    not sure which country you;re in and the attitude towards pscyhologist and psychiatrists. i think you should see someone who you can talk things out to. explain why you're feeling this way. it might be a mood disorder or there might be issues you have not resolved.

    some people and cultures still think of psychiatry and meds are only for crazy people but that is not true. if you have a mood disorder, you might feel a little better with some medication and someone to talk to.

    keep on finding a doc/psychologist/psychiatrist who will take you seriously and help you to feel better. or you can just post ans talk to us.

    you may have it all, and lucky you that you do, but there may be things that are bothering you. and you should be enjoying all you have, so please find help so you can at least appreciate what you have. =)
     
  6. I am no professional...but it sounds like depression! I second everyone else that has suggested that you see someone that can try to help!! Good luck, and I hope you start to feel more positive about the good things in your life!
     
  7. Maybe i need to let go of my partner. At times i feel like i adore him and at times he annoys me but im afraid if i do, then realise it wasnt him but something else, i would have made the biggest mistake of my life!

    I have gone to see professionals, its not depression.
     
  8. I agree with everyone else, it does sound like depression to me too. I've suffered from depression and this is often how I felt when I was in one. I found writing in a journal and letting my emotions out was helpful. I never took medication, because I just didn't feel right if I did. I wanted to conquer it myself, but I recommend talking to a psychologist.
     
  9. Try to find out what you are really feeling and why before you make dramatic life changes, like ending a relationship. Depression has a vast definition...and takes many forms and only a good professional will give you the help you need to make a difference. Don't give up in finding a good one! Once you find someone who really listens, your outlook on life and those around you will change forever!
     
  10. Whatever it is, if you still have it, then you probably have not found the doctor/treatment that is right for you.

    I would get a second, maybe third opinion, on the depression question, and in the process of doing that, if it's not depression, you have a good chance of finding out what it is, and getting it successfully treated.

    Understanding that something is wrong and wanting to fix it is half the battle!
     
  11. I would definitely suggest seeing someone about these feelings. Obviously the problem is not resolved, and if the guy you're seeing is not hurting you in any way, then it must be something you are dealing with inside.

    As with any physical problem, if you weren't finding help for it, you would seek out another doctor/opinion. I would do the same. It may just be something like hidden anxiety or a seratonin imbalance. (all things that are all too common these days) This can cause you to be really moody or act out in certain ways because you don't know why you feel the way you do.

    Best of luck.
     
  12. Actually I was told something similar to this. Seek a second, third, or however many opinions it takes til you find the solution.

    From someone who has been there, you have a problem. And there is a solution.

    It took me trying many medications and two doctors giving up, thus me finding another. They finally figured out due to past illnesses/surgeries my body wasn't able to absorb the meds they were giving me. Took years of me being a self-hating misery and mean to everyone around me to get to a better point tho and I still struggle.

    My mother has always been this way and refuses to seek help and pretty much everyone she knows hates being around her, but we tolerate her because she's mom. I personally find living 12 hours away and rarely speaking to her helps... lol. So if she'd gotten help she might be a lot more likeable. When I saw the same thing happening to my own attitude and my DH telling me I was acting like my froot loop mother I IMMEDIATELY sought help!! lol

    You will find your happy place, and it isn't admitting defeat to seek help in getting there! Keep us posted. We're on your team. Blame it on hormones or whatever, sometimes being content with life is medication induced and that's OK with me! lmao :jammin:

    And hey- and if you're like me and medication isn't your complete fix, buy a new purse! Works like a charm for moi! hehe
     
  13. IMO to be happy with those around you as well as the things around you. You must first be happy with yourself.
     
  14. ITA.. To me, happiness is finding that peace within yourself~ that's most important! Best of luck to you~
     
  15. Exactly, I have known so many people that don't have inner peace and wonder why everything in their life is a hassle.