i broke up with my boyfriend

  1. things hadn't been going very well for us for a few months, so i broke up with my boyfriend today. he was so crushed, it made me so sad :cry:. i still love and care about him so much, but he had been taking me for granted and treating me kind of badly for a while and i feel like i can't be with him. he wants a second chance very badly, and i feel like i may be able to give him one in the future, maybe, but i think i just need to be single for now, if that makes any sense. i have to work on some things about myself that i had been ignoring while i tried to make our relationship better, and i don't think i can do that and give him a second chance at the same time. we were together for a year and a half.

    am i being selfish? is what i want reasonable? i just feel like crap for breaking his heart. he was so upset and sad :sad:.

    i have to go move my stuff out of his house on thursday and i'm really dreading it...i just love him so much, but i can't do it anymore.

    i'm not sure why i'm posting this, really, but the reaction i'm getting from my friends is really not what i want. i don't want to be told that they knew all along and that they didn't understand why we were together or something...he's a wonderful person, and talking smack about him just makes me feel horrible. i dunno. feel free to ignore, i guess i just needed to get it out there...
  2. amanda you're not being selfish at all.....your response is totally reasonable.....if your boyfriend isn't treating you the way you want to be treated and he's taking you for granted maybe the time apart from you will make him realize exactly what he's missing out on.........

    it's totally understandable if you need to be alone for awhile to work on yourself, and if he really loves you he should be able to understand that and want this for you even if it does make him sad.....

    i'm so sorry you're going through this but at we're all here to support you
  3. I am so sorry Amanda. Breakups are hard but one thing I find true is that if you are willing to break up with him, that is a good sign that, that was the right thing to do. You were strong enough to do it and that is admirable since many people do the easy thing and stay in relationships they know they shouldn't.

    I know you love him but you will find another guy who will love you back and treat you the way you need to be treated. It is up to you if you want to give him another chance but make sure you don't lower your standards for him.

    Hang in there Amanda, it is tough now but you will be so much happier when you find a guy that will respect you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated! This was a great lesson to learn and build on!!
  4. You are not being selfish! Things in the relationship weren't working for you so you ended it. There is nothing wrong with wanting to single for awhile.
  5. Amanda, you're not being selfish for wanting to be happy. I'm sure he is a very nice person, but sometimes things just don't work out. And as for the comments from your friends, just try to disregard it if it hurts you to hear it. You'll free better soon, just give yourself some time. Take care.
  6. I think it would be more selfish if you stayed with a man that you really don't want to be with. Also, there is a difference between taking care of yourself and being selfish.
  7. Its time to take hold of your life and do whats best for you. Right now this doesn't include him. Your not being selfish your being honest.

    Sending ~~~~~~~ Giant Hugs :love:
  8. ***hugs****
    you are a wonderful person! you are not selfish at all! you have to be happy!!! once you are happy and doing well etc.... things will work out!!!
  9. I think you sound like you have a good perspective of what you expect for yourself. It's hard to face a partner who does not measure up,even if he is a great guy. In the long run you must do what is better for you. ((((((((hugs))))))))
  10. It sounds like you need some "Amanda" time to yourself. I know all about neglecting yourself for someone else, and that's something that can't help any relationship. Besides, if he has been treating you not as he should, then perhaps its best to step outside of the relationship and re-evaluate what is important to you, and what the deal-breakers are. I'm sorry you are going through this, and I wish you all the best, and hope you find happiness in your choice.
  11. I am sorry to hear the sad news but I remembered last time you talked about him, you almost broke up with him. You have the courage to walk out of him when you feel that is right thing to do and you are right and you are doing the right thing. Breaking up is so hard and I feel for you but remember if the relationship only give you the pain and feeling misery it is not worth keeping it. I am sure you will find someone who will love you more, someone who kind, loving, respecting and understanding you. We will be here if you need us. *hug*
  12. I'm sorry that you're feeling bag, you sound like such a caring person, I mean you said that he hasn't been treating you well and yet you're worried about hurting his feelings! You're friends are probably being harsh and it probably doesn't feel good to hear it, but they probably were upset because you've been unhappy. You don't owe anyone a second chance and maybe others will disagree but in my experience it doesn't get any better the second time around. Anyways, I think you did the right thing, we all deserve to be treated well! I hope you feel better.
  13. I know what you mean Amanda, I DREADED ever talking about my boyfriends w/ my friends or family. . . they have a way of sticking their foot in their mouths when trying to help :rollingeyes
    Even the sweetest guys can be stupid {sweet, but bad decisions, say insensitive things. . . }, epecially young ones! My DH swears to me that no man should ever be married before 30, he says all guys are idiots until about this age . . . then they start to figure sh*t out! LOL!
    You are NOT selfish, you are taking care of #1, just like he probably does. If your gut's telling you this is what you need, then listen.

    I broke up w/ my now DH once upon a time. . . he wasn't treating me the way I expected to be treated and I finally got fed up.
    About 2-4 weeks later and a million phone calls I could tell he had thought a lot about things and gave him a 2nd chance. 2nd chances are sometimes great, but I needed to do it and I think you're on the right track.
    I'm sorry you have to go through getting your things out, that's really hard.
    I'm sorry girl, vent away{{{hug}}}
  14. aw well things happen for a reason. i believe that. go thru something crappy, to find out someone else is there for you in the future. you might be feeling at a loss, but you'll gain more later. hope this makes sense...

    winternight is so funny... "sorry that you're feeling bag?" (bag? can you tell we are addicted?) LOL. yes i've made that mistake too.
  15. You are not being selfish. You just need a little space to evaluate your relationship with him. If it is meant to be, it will be once more. Don't listen to your friends or us, listen to your heart!! Write a list of the pros and cons of the relationship you had with your ex and let it guide your final decision.