husbands who work out of town...?

  1. For the past 7 years, I have never been away from my husband for more than maybe a week. Just yesterday, he got a job offer out of town ( only about 12 hours away ) but he would probably come home only two weekends a month. His new job means twice the money and I know it would be the best choice for us but now that it has sunk in that he wont be home everyday, I'm starting to feel extremely sad. For those of you whose husbands are away most of the time, how do you deal with it and how did your kids adjust to their dad not being there everyday.
     
  2. Two weekends per month is hardly any time at home, so I really feel for you....how old are your kids? Is this a permanent job or temporary? Are you yourself working? If not, is moving to the other town a possibility?
     
  3. Bart is CONSTANTLY gone because of his company, but he is at least home once a week. Two weekends a month is a little bit more than I would be able to deal with.

    Are your kids in school? If not...why don't you all move so that you are closer to where he works and so that your kids would also be able to see their dad!
     
  4. well, for almost a year now my hubby has been working on another continent, so.... we haven't seen each other much. granted, it is temporary as I am about to follow but he missed our son's birth (well, life is not easy), so in our case it is rather how does the child adjust to his dad....

    and after that for a year I will have a job out of the country but only travelling there every so often.I feel for you!

    to answer your question - keep yourself really very busy! any chance you could go all together?

    I would also consider together for how long you are thinking to keep this going - it is not easy, I am sorry to tell you, so you should give it a trial period, and then discuss again.

    all the best.
     
  5. How long will he have this job? If it is a permanent job and not a temporary job (1 yr or less) I would pack everything up and move. Can you get a job where he will be working?
     
  6. I don't want kids and a 2-weekends-a-month sounds like a great marriage for me! I love my solitude. But that is not your situation.

    Your kids will not adjust. They will be living in a single parent home.

    Move to the new city where the job is and be a family.

    If you have to quit a job to do this, then either get a job in the new city or start a work from home business if your family needs the income.

    I know this is far harder than it seems. But your kids need a dad and you need help raising the kids.

    I truly wish you and your family good luck.
     
  7. How to deal with it?



    Get a young gardener.
     


  8. :p Wish I'm as thin and pretty as Gabrielle though!!!
     
  9. He's probably just going to work there for a couple of years. I know it's going to be really hard but at least it's only a few hours drive away. We could probably meet halfway every week maybe. :shrugs: Our boys are 6 and 3- i know it would be hardest for them but I also know that this is what's best for us right now. The only good thing is that I have a few family here in our town for support. But I would really really miss him...
     

  10. does if feel a little bit awkward when you see him again after a while?
     
  11. I would move closer to him if the pay is really good and you are living comfortably.
    Two years is way too long and how do you suspect that you would get satisfied during the two years?

    Maybe you would have to look for a young good looking gardener and I would not doubt he is looking for one too!
    Sorry, I did not want to worry you. But I think this would go through my mind if I was married.
     
  12. I would try to figure out a way to be together as a normal family, if you're sure this job will keep him there 2 years. Children that age seeing their father so seldom isn't good. I realize those in the military and certain other jobs have no choice, but for the sake of your partnership and your children I would try to work something out to be together. It sounds do-able with his increase in pay. Good luck whatever route you go.
     
  13. NEVER!!!! seriously never. he is the most amazing man (well I would say that, right?) and as soon as we see each other it is just like always. (that is not always a good thing.... especially when it entails arguing on the motorway about driving style!!! oh well..)

    but yeah, it is just fine.
     
  14. Well I'm not married but my fiance and I were long distance for six months, frankly I hated it and it was akward when we saw each other just because I really missed him and honestly I was scared he'd find someone else (this is before we were engaged). Honestly, no matter how much I trust my guy I don't know if I'd settle for being in a relationship that was two weekends a month - is there any way you can move? That seems aweful for the kids too. Sorry. I know money is tempting but we're already talking about one of us taking a paycut so that we can have more time with kids when we have them.
     
  15. Well, that's hard... I know how you feel. My first daughter's dad works in U.S.A. before and we just see each other one month within 6-8 months... It's like 6-8 months we're not together, then he comes back to have his vacation for a month in the Philippines, then, back to work again for 6-8 months! And it s*cks! And unfortunately, it didn't work out for the both of us.