How to land the H-enabling DH?
- Thread starter Liberté
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^^^With the Birkin (even though I was fine spending much more on jewelry out in the open)...I think I delayed telling dh until a bit later (and after consigning a batch of bags...making closet space) because *I* wasn't yet 100 percent sold on H?
Once I felt more confident, I dragged him into it.
j/k... He's actually much more keen on H than the diamond issue(s).
Once I felt more confident, I dragged him into it.
j/k... He's actually much more keen on H than the diamond issue(s).
To be honest, I think that finding a man who's a perfect fit for you and vice versa is much more important than whether he's already attuned to the beauty of Hermes or other luxury itemsFortunes rise and fortunes fall over time. Really loving *and liking* your partner, and sharing each other's enthusiasm for hobbies (if you are patient when he talks about football or cars or whatever he will be patient while you prattle on about bags), is the most important advice I could ever give. Plus, they're easy to train. Kneepads and all that.
I couldn't agree more! CynthiaNYC hit the nail on the head and from a man's point of view...Love for one another and extra cash flow and all that positive vibes...sure let's go buy you a(n) Hermes bag, now with knee pads...that's an impetus for "why don't you get yourself another one honey"!
I'm working on it. He hasn't gotten me anything yet, but he's started asking questions that could be leading up to it. I'm considering buying my first Birkin from a lovely PFer, hesitating a bit over spending that much when I'm going out on maternity leave soon.
I told DH about it. He wanted to see the pictures, then we discussed why it's so expensive (craftmanship, quality, classic, and well, let's face it, brand and status.) I (semi-jokingly) suggested that when he goes to London & Amsterdam next week, he stop by the stores to check if there are any for me. He said he doesn't want the responsibility of looking for "the uber-bag" for me, but later started asking things like, "Is there only one size?" So the wheels are at least turning!!
Here are a few tips from my conversation, at least those I'm going to keep trying with:
1) Show that it's something you really want by being willing to spend your own money on it.
2) Relate it to something he himself has/likes (similar to what Loony said). In my case, we discussed his own Hermes mandals and handmade John Lobb shoes. The fact that he has H already made it a little easier.
3) Make it simple. When he started worrying that he'd get the wrong thing, I boiled it down to 35 cm black, smooth leather (any), and "the silvery hardware, not gold", but he could call me if he saw any color. If I got all specific on which leather, he'd freak and not even go to the store (he still may not.)
4) Being pregnant with his firstborn probably doesn't hurt, timing-wise, though that's kind of a one-time-only tactic.
I told DH about it. He wanted to see the pictures, then we discussed why it's so expensive (craftmanship, quality, classic, and well, let's face it, brand and status.) I (semi-jokingly) suggested that when he goes to London & Amsterdam next week, he stop by the stores to check if there are any for me. He said he doesn't want the responsibility of looking for "the uber-bag" for me, but later started asking things like, "Is there only one size?" So the wheels are at least turning!!
Here are a few tips from my conversation, at least those I'm going to keep trying with:
1) Show that it's something you really want by being willing to spend your own money on it.
2) Relate it to something he himself has/likes (similar to what Loony said). In my case, we discussed his own Hermes mandals and handmade John Lobb shoes. The fact that he has H already made it a little easier.
3) Make it simple. When he started worrying that he'd get the wrong thing, I boiled it down to 35 cm black, smooth leather (any), and "the silvery hardware, not gold", but he could call me if he saw any color. If I got all specific on which leather, he'd freak and not even go to the store (he still may not.)
4) Being pregnant with his firstborn probably doesn't hurt, timing-wise, though that's kind of a one-time-only tactic.
4) Being pregnant with his firstborn probably doesn't hurt, timing-wise, though that's kind of a one-time-only tactic.
I'll have to keep this one in mind! BF's eyes glaze over when I talk about bags, ANY bags. I suppose holding his firstborn hostage in my belly will be a GREAT way to get him to listen up! LOL
Works for jewelry, why not bags?!
4) Being pregnant with his firstborn probably doesn't hurt, timing-wise, though that's kind of a one-time-only tactic.
I suppose holding his firstborn hostage in my belly will be a GREAT way to get him to listen up! LOL
OMG, you guys are cracking me up!!
I like the point about comparing an Hermes bag to DH's special items. If he has none, then maybe buy DH a couple of small H items of his own, and then explain to him why they are so special.
While F still "gets" jewelery more than bags, he is now my absolute best enabler. I didn't really do it as a deliberate process, but it kind of worked out that way.
1) I made a list of things I eventually wanted. It included a couple of big ticket things for our main house, places to visit (saw Pyramids, Venice, Taj Mahal still on list..) two big pieces of jewelery and 2 birkins (one black croc - no diamonds. By doing this, I think I repositioned it from an accessory to an asset or goal.
2) I took him to the store and got him involved in the hunt. When ever we travel we would stop in Hermes and "just see" if there were any Birkins. Of course there hardly ever are, which repositioned it from another stupid bag to a challenge. (I would tell you we are both pretty laid back, but in all truth, we might be pretty competitive.)
3) After I got my first one - black box 35 - I acted ecstatic - which I was. But I didn't carry it often. Sometime I would get it out and then switch to anoher stupid black bag. And I would say, "You know this has to last a lifetime. If something happens to it, I will just be sick and we can't just go get another one." This totally worked.
4) The SF store doesn't really have a list, but they know the particular colors I am looking for. (35 Swift Etoupe or Raisin PHW) and Houston does keep a list for me. So if those exact bags come up, I feel completely reasonable in just buying it and figuring the dough out later. That said, I am not going to shell out $15K to CDL for immediate gratification.
5) I have 2 birkins now and one kelly. The croc is still on the list but F wants a high end Porsche and I want him to have it. I'll be terrified to drive it. I probably will avoid driving it if I can. There won't be room in the driveway. Blah blah. He wants it and I so I want it.
So thats the 5 steps to enabler!
I think a lot of the ladies here have the right idea- my BF isn't buying me H yet because we can't really afford it but he does understand why I like it. I started by teaching him about the finer things in life- cashmere sweaters (big hit), well made shoes, etc. He was taught to go for the bargain, whereas I prefer to pay more for quality, so this idea took some getting used to for him. Then I taught him about the history and quality of H and why I like it. I will often mention bits of trivia or show him a really amazing scarf pattern. I also make a point of wearing my few H items often, so he sees that I really appreciate the things I have. He's already become a convert to Tiffany- he bought my Xmas present there and is eyeing some cufflinks for himself. I'm hoping to buy him an H tie soon and then I'm sure he'll be sold. Really I think the key is about sharing your love for H and why you love it, but still understanding that he may not "get" it- I know BF would never want an H wallet for himself, for example, even if he would gladly buy me one.
Wow. What advice! LoL
I DIDN'T land a HLH. At least, not at first. When my first hunt for a Bolide started me in H, Dh was a little mortified. The price. He thought I was nuts.
Then I had 2 fabulous, but less pricey bags fall apart on me almost at the same time. They weren't cheap, though - about a couple grand apiece. I was devastated. They were near-new and to fall apart like that from bad construction was ridiculous! My DH saw me, crestfallen holding 2 halves of a bag he'd just gotten me and I could almost see how fed up he was with "designer bags" right then.
Thats how my DH's appreciation of H started; with a distaste for the rest.
Now I have a small but happy collection and I've never had even a minor problem with their construction. Every H gift is a hit, there's no guesswork involved. He knows my style, and he knows my S.A. so it's win-win! LoL
Case in point: We were on our way to dinner a few weeks ago with a few minutes to kill before our reservation. We took a walk around the chic block instead of swilling liquor at the bar and I saw a big, beautiful Louis Vuitton store. I stopped for a second, and looked in. I turned to DH and said "you know, I've never even gone in an LV store before". I was a bit torn, not sure if I should. What if I fell in love with something?
My DH turned to me and winked. "wouldn't you feel like cheating on Hermes if we walked in there?" I laughed, grabbed his arm and said yes, curiousity quenched by my DH's good nature.
HLDHs, in my understanding, are rare in the wild. Good, patient husbands, though... the ones that like to be as good to their wives as those wives are to them is quite possible. I think it's all about the relationship you build. After all, men have hobbies that are hard to understand. Like flatscreens, hunting gear, boat whatever...
A certain size bag, in a certain style, with a certain colour, in a certain leather, with a special strap and a particulour hardware.... we're even worse, aren't we? LoL
I DIDN'T land a HLH. At least, not at first. When my first hunt for a Bolide started me in H, Dh was a little mortified. The price. He thought I was nuts.
Then I had 2 fabulous, but less pricey bags fall apart on me almost at the same time. They weren't cheap, though - about a couple grand apiece. I was devastated. They were near-new and to fall apart like that from bad construction was ridiculous! My DH saw me, crestfallen holding 2 halves of a bag he'd just gotten me and I could almost see how fed up he was with "designer bags" right then.
Thats how my DH's appreciation of H started; with a distaste for the rest.
Now I have a small but happy collection and I've never had even a minor problem with their construction. Every H gift is a hit, there's no guesswork involved. He knows my style, and he knows my S.A. so it's win-win! LoL
Case in point: We were on our way to dinner a few weeks ago with a few minutes to kill before our reservation. We took a walk around the chic block instead of swilling liquor at the bar and I saw a big, beautiful Louis Vuitton store. I stopped for a second, and looked in. I turned to DH and said "you know, I've never even gone in an LV store before". I was a bit torn, not sure if I should. What if I fell in love with something?
My DH turned to me and winked. "wouldn't you feel like cheating on Hermes if we walked in there?" I laughed, grabbed his arm and said yes, curiousity quenched by my DH's good nature.
HLDHs, in my understanding, are rare in the wild. Good, patient husbands, though... the ones that like to be as good to their wives as those wives are to them is quite possible. I think it's all about the relationship you build. After all, men have hobbies that are hard to understand. Like flatscreens, hunting gear, boat whatever...
A certain size bag, in a certain style, with a certain colour, in a certain leather, with a special strap and a particulour hardware.... we're even worse, aren't we? LoL
I'm pretty much in the same position: My BF isn't buying me Hermes yet cos he is not in the position too cos he just started his own business and so far I make way more than he does but he totally understands my love for Hermes.
He definitely supports it cos the admires the craftmanship that comes with the Hermes products. I just started getting into purses at all about two years ago and we were in a lot of trouble before cos he detasted the cheap purses I was wearing.
I started educating myself on the topic, joined TDF and here I am now ...a daily visitor for the last 2 years with my LV Speedy as my daily companion for now
I still have to buy my first Hermes bag but I'm taking baby steps ...I'm not in a rush and I want to get something as my first H bag that I really love and I know that once I bring my first H-baby home that my BF will share my enthusiasm
. He totally loves Kellys btw!
He definitely supports it cos the admires the craftmanship that comes with the Hermes products. I just started getting into purses at all about two years ago and we were in a lot of trouble before cos he detasted the cheap purses I was wearing.
I started educating myself on the topic, joined TDF and here I am now ...a daily visitor for the last 2 years with my LV Speedy as my daily companion for now
I still have to buy my first Hermes bag but I'm taking baby steps ...I'm not in a rush and I want to get something as my first H bag that I really love and I know that once I bring my first H-baby home that my BF will share my enthusiasm
. He totally loves Kellys btw!
My DH went on a country wide search for my Kelly in the color I wanted. His casino host at the Wynn found it for him and my DH told them to charge it...that was his first introduction to the elitist class of Hermes owners. After they advised that they only did face to face transactions, he hopped a flight to Vegas to purchase my bag! I think it's the mystique of being part of a very select "club" that hooked him in! Now we're both on the hunt for my Birkin!