How soon is too soon . . . for a new baby?

  1. Hi ALL!!! thank you so much for all your sweet words of advice and comfort about my last post and losing Smokey. I have much more of an honest idea of what happened now. I guess because his FLUTD was so serious they were treating that . . . but he also ended up having kidney failure. So they would give him lots and lots of fluids to help his kidneys but then he kept blocking over and over and his bladder would be on the verge of exploding. So they would stop the fluids to get him unblocked and his kidneys would nose dive. So it was like this war going on inside him . . . I still feel sick thinking about it. He was the coolest, sweetest cat ever and only 2.

    I went to my therapist today and she asked me about losing Boone at such a young age (my cat before that died) and I said that honestly . . .I didn't have a choice my parents made me get Smokey. I still ached for Boone and the first week I felt like such a trader but then my love for him helped me heal. Smokey became the best choice I ever made. So here I am again . . . right back to this painful aching where I want to "save a cat" (I would get an adult from a shelter since they don't always have as much chance) or thinking about it makes me feel like I am failing Smokey.

    Everyone says wait a while but I know me . . . if I am going to do it now might be the best time, or I might never do it. I guess I am just so much in pain over Smokey! He was two! My husband says NO MORE CATS He said he can't keep seeing me in this much pain.

    I was looking at the Maine Coon Rescue and found this

    I swear it is his brother. They are identical and have the same personality according to the text. Is it werid to get a cat so similar to my sweet boy, Smokey? Is it werid to get a cat at all right now? I just feel like I have no one to ask besides you guys because my husband says no to any new pets period and I just feel everyone thinks it is crazy I am still this upset. :crybaby:Have you been in this situation?
  2. I'm so sorry to hear about your kitty! :crybaby:I lost my baby in Sept. 2005. It was so hard to put him to sleep. That same day my grandfather said something about going to get another cat the next day, I told him I wasn't ready yet. The next day came around and I woke up and my husband said maybe I should just go with my grandfather to see what they had at the pet store. So, I did. I'm so glad I did. Because I found my baby girl, Tinkerbell. She helped me so much through the healing process. I will never forget Tinkey, though.
  3. That is so crazy!!! One of the cats I was looking at online was named Tinkerbell. Her owner had just passed away and she got taken to the shelter near me that is a high-kill. I looked at her and thought maybe we can both heal together. Maybe that is a sign you just shared your story with me . . .

    Did you feel like a you had betrayed Tinky? I guess I am just still a mess after 2 cats both dying at 5 and 2. I blamed myself for both of them . . . Boone was a dog attack in MY BACKYARD ON MY BACK PORCH. Now . . .Smokey. I feel like I could have found all this earlier. UGHHHHHH . . .it is just a painful heartache.
  4. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know the pain of losing a pet.

    I think when the right time to get another pet is different for everyone. If you believe another cat will help you heal and give you comfort and you are saving a life, then I say go for it as it will, in all probability, be the best thing for both you and the new kitty.

    I don't see this as a betrayal to Smokey.
  5. The right time is when you feel you are ready. When I lost my kitty Elliott I adopted another kitty 2 weeks later. Elliott was Diabetic and I had learned so much treating him I knew I wanted to help another Diabetic. I felt good about the adoption and the new cat helped me grieve for my lost Elliott. There is no "right time". Do it when you are ready. If that is tomorrow, that's the right time.

    The only thing I would suggest is you not get a cat that looks exactly like the one you lost. The new one can never replace the one you lost and having them look different is a good idea. I know it was better for me.
  6. You will totally know when you are ready. And you are not dishonoring your kitty if you love another kitty. You have a lot of love to give so when you are ready another kitty will find you.
  7. Just know your baby will never be replaced - that you will be giving a new baby a good home. When you feel this the time is right :smile:
  8. I'm so sorry about your loss. I know how horrible it is to lose your furbaby.

    As to how soon is too soon...its totally different for everyone. But I do think you'll know. When I was in high school our two 18 month old shepherd mixes were hit by a car...we ended up with our lab mix a week later. And she was the perfect dog and just what we needed. When she finally passed 2 years ago....I waited about 6 months and got a couple of cats. They've helped keep me company and it was great to have something at home with me..but I've still been longing for a puppy. And now I just brought home my new yorkipoo...almost 2 years to the day from losing my lab mix. And I couldn't be happier with her. I think after having my dog so long I needed more time to grieve for her before getting a new puppy.
  9. Now is not soon enough! We had to have our 12 year old Brittany spaniel put down last weekend (thank god for my dogsitter-he took care of our boy for us- he is our vet's #1 employee) then spent the whole weekend with 200 dogs at a AKC hunt test- the company of other wonderful animals helped until we had to go home. Our boy is definately missed, even though we still have 6 indoor dogs at home.
  10. I am so sorry for your loss. I think it's different for everyone as when is too soon. A lot of people find comfort in having an animal to help them mourn their loss. I think it never hurts to keep your eyes out and your heart open. I'm a big believer that the animal picks you, it's not the other way around and we don't generally get much say in the matter. Follow your gut, it usually knows what the right answer is when it comes to these types of things :heart:
  11. I am sorry for your loss; true animal lovers can't understand those of us who adore our little fur babies. I heartily believe you should find another pet right now to help heal your heart; and to save another little angel from the shelter or wherever you might find... many of these little souls are just looking for someone like you to love and adore them...
  12. it's really awful when we lose them, and everyone deals with it differently. for some people, it takes time until they are ready for another animal. but as for me, i march right out and find another to take home and love.

    it's not being a traitor -- it's honoring the life of the one you've lost to give a good home to another deserving animal. and while you can't reduce the pain of the loss, there's nothing at all wrong with balancing the grief with the joy of a new companion.
  13. Have a look:

    Trust me, these two may look like brother and sister, but they are very different. We got Gracie less than a month after Sam died. DH said he wasn't ready for another dog so soon after losing Sam, but the minute he saw Gracie, he melted and there was no turning back.

    It was absolutely the most perfect decision for us. We still get a bit of Sam, but Gracie is her own little furbaby. :love:

  14. I agree with DQ-I march right out too and start animal shopping! My clients are all different after euthanasia-some get another pet right away, and others wait. I do find that the ones who swear that the old pet was their last one usually come creeping in within 72 hours holding a new puppy! You should do whatever feels right-no guilt, just what will make you happy.
  15. When my Fat Kitty died many years ago I and my remaining cat Spot mourned together but I always knew I would eventually get another kitty. I guess it was about 2 weeks later when a GF called me and said her mother had dumped a load of kittens on her and did I want one? It just seemed like fate...I ended up getting two and a Cat Hoarder was born. At first I felt a little guilty but that's just silly, giving a home to a couple of kittens didn't mean I loved Fat Kitty any less or wasn't grieving for her and honoring her memory. Life does, after all, go on.

    So you go ahead, Mrs. Kitty, and get a new baby if you truly feel in your heart you are ready. Just remember that no matter how much the new kitty may look like Smokey and even act like Smokey, it isn'r Smokey. It wouldn't be fair to a new cat to keep comparing him to the old cat. Good luck with whatever your decision turns out to be, and keep us posted.