How many kids is "too many kids"?

  1. I caught the tail end of some show on TV just now about a family who has 8. Now, keeping in mind that I didn't see the whole show, I was taken aback when the commentator mentioned that they hadn't "planned it" that way. Uh....hello? How can you "not plan" on having 8 kids? Don't you think after about kid #3 they would've figured out what was causing the problem? AGAIN: I didn't see the whole show, maybe the 8 kids were the results of several multiple births. But the poor dad...he had that "deer in the headlights" look and kept saying, "No more" while the mom patted his knee and said, "OK honey, no more" but you could see the gleam in her anyway, it made me wonder, how many is too many? By that I mean, what is the number at which you would raise an eyebrow? I understand that it's a personal choice for everyone and I am in NO WAY "against" people with large families...I am the oldest of 5 was tough growing up with 4 siblings because people did make comments. So I'm just curious to know what you all think.
  2. I am not a parent so I'm going out on a limb even attempting to answer this.

    It is a complex choice. It depends on the capacities of the parents (hopefully there are two whether male and female or a same sex partnership) to raise their child(ren) in a healthy lifestyle and with enough love and quality time for each. That can mean one child or many. Mother nature has her way; couples who only want one may have a later, unplanned pregnancy and have decisions to make on how they will raise that child (or children if it's twins or more). Others who want a large family may adopt or turn to surrogacy if they are not getting pregnant at the pace they want to.

    I have friends who have one and that was enough for them to be blessed, and another who has 10. I don't know how it's possibly financially to raise a larger number of 10 in this part of the country but my hat goes off to her and her DH.

    I will share that in my family I'm the oldest with two younger brothers. My middle bro was adopted as an infant; my folks wanted more kids after me but it wasn't happening so they decided to adopt. My Mom did tons of volunteer work at an adoption agency so it was the most natural thing in the world to adopt and he's my brother in every way. Then...surprise...a few years later my youngest bro came along! So you never know.

    Sorry if this is long and a little OT. I could never put a number on how many is "too many," because it's such a personal and unique decision for each family.
  3. Honestly...I have one...and cannot even think beyond 1...

    I think that kids are a blessing but a lifetime of responsibility and changes the marriage and our life so is not to be taken lightly for sure...and the what ifs that life has...I dont plan on anymore kids in my lifetime.....

    But some tend to have a differnt enrich their marriage and life and more the merrier...and life is all about family....but...I just dont see how they do it....its like they are of a different planet to me sometimes....

    I have stopped at one after I had my son b/c it was way harder than anyone told or I had expected....for me...I would be miserable if kids were the only focus in my life even though it is the most important in my life. Its a personal call I guess...can we talk about over population while we are on the subject...:p
  4. I agree with Pursegrrl and Bagluvluv, you both make great points. For ME, one is enough, though.
  5. more than two is too many for me.. having kids is not cheap nor is the responsibility less.. the more kids you have, the more challenging it will be to be able to make sure that you are not only able to provide for them financially but also emotionally, religiously, socially, and all the wonderful time you want to share with your kid..
  6. I agree with everything said above. It's such a personal thing, you cannot put a definite number on it. If a couple can (in no particular order) financially, emotionally and spiritually manage a small village, then God bless them! Now with that being said...I do get a little miffed sometimes when I see families on tv shows that have 10+ kids and they manage by "assigning" each older sibling to a younger sibling. I know most older siblings *help out* with their younger bros and sisters, but in these situations it seems like they're really being forced to give up some of their childhood to raise kids that aren't theirs.
  7. for me, anything more than 1 is too many :blah:

    i have only one younger brother, and my mom and maid were close to tearing their hair out looking after 2 kids :lol:
  8. hee hee no offense to anyone but more that 0 kids is too much IMHO! For myself, anyway.

    For those who want children, I think one or two is a good number. The earth is so overpopulated already that I see no point in having more than that.
  9. I've often told people that once I had one and only child (my daughter) I'd done my bit for procreation and it was time to get the DH neutered!:roflmfao:

    OT a bit, but I don't think that most women over 40 should be having kids. Granted there are always exceptions, but even if the woman is a "young" 40+ year old woman, your kids won't even get out of HIGH SCHOOL until you are close to retirement! Too young isn't good either, but it just makes no sense to me to be having babies when you're headed into perimenopause and staring college tuition in the face at the same time you are looking at Social Security Retirement! :shrugs:
  10. I wasn't supposed to have any. Medically it was supposed to be impossible. So after what happened to me I don't always think we have a choice.

    But, financially 1 or 2 is definately a good number.
  11. Off topic a bit and IMO-you should never just have 1 child-I am an only child and I know at least 4 other only children (adults now)-and they all agree-definitely have more than 1.

    With that said, i think too much is more than you can financially and emotionally handle. That depends on the family/couple. some people can barely handle 2 or 3 while others have the resources to successfully handle 5 or 6. I have a family on my block who have 5 kids-and they do not have the means at all. They live in a very cramped 2 bedroom apartment-they never have money (to the point that they have come over at 9 pm at night asking for diapers or money), they never go anywhere due to lack of money or the fact that the mom cannot handle having all her children out at once (then, why have so many?), etc. etc.. On the other hand-another family down the block also have 5 children and are fine.

    So-whatever you are equipped to deal with.
  12. Personally, where I am now I don't see myself having kids at all. I love them, they're just not for me I think. But I'm pretty young and there's a slight chance I might change my mind, so if I do I'd probably adopt two children. I was an only child(not counting half-siblings who never lived with me) and got kind of lonely and bored at times, so I'd take that into consideration. I think one or two would be a good number for most people, as others have said, but really it's a personal thing that has to do with one's situation financially, emotionally, etc.
  13. I think when you go past 6 kids it gets a bit crazy, but then again some people may be able to handle it. I think the important thing is whether or not you can provide for them all both finacially and emotionally. My Mum is one of 11! (granted some were adopted, my Gran didn't pop them all out herself! hehe) and they all turned out great. They have a lovely situation now that they're older and we have huge parties when everyone gets together.

    I don't think I'd want more than two or three myself because that way they'd have more one-on-one time with their parent and wouldn't have to fight for attention. It's also easier financially (although I don't plan on having kids for a long time as I'm only 18). I grew up as one of two and for me that was perfect.
  14. I disagree with this. I am a bit biased (I have 1 child and won't ever have more), but I know numerous adults who were only-children and are just fine with that.

    My theory is, have as many children as you truly want, and you can reasonably afford to support financially and emotionally. For me, that number is 1, for other people it may be 10. I dreamed once about having another baby, and while I was delighted and very excited, I was sad because I knew it would take time, attention, and resources away from my boy.

    I do have to wonder about people who keep having more and more children, like the family the OP mentioned. Not even considering financial limitations, I don't believe anyone could have the proper time and attention to give ten children. What's that, maybe an hour per kid per day, if you don't work or do anything else? Maybe women start defining themselves exclusively as mothers, and then they don't remember how to look at it any other way?
  15. I've seen families with 14 kids at least. I saw that on the Discovery Health Chanel. They strictly follow the concept in their religion that no contraceptives are to be used in intercourse so there goes the kids. They manage well from what I've seen but I'm sure there are times of pure chaos. They don't regret it though and keep having more children.

    So my answer is as many as you want that you can give support and much love to.