Yeah, it's always very sad to open a package for the bag you ordered only to see that it's been used.
Just because alot of pple do it doesn't make it ok really.
Even though most US stores have great return policies, alot of us are buying from outside the US which means making returns is alot alot harder.
I hear you. If you plan on buying a bag from a store in the US, I suggest asking members for a recommended SA who will inspect the item for you beforehand.
Returning a used bag (unless defective) is absolutely wrong in my book. There're some discussions in this thread:
http://forum.purseblog.com/chanel/neiman-marcus-return-policy-help-82280.html