How Do you tell your ex you're seeing someone he knows?

  1. A friend of mine broke up with her ex after living w/him 2+ years and now is seeing a guy her ex knows. They are all going to be attending a wedding in July and she wants to tell him before then. Ex had asked her not to take anyone w/her, so technically she's not coz the guy she's seeing is also invited.

    How/what/when should she tell the ex?:sad:
     
  2. Are they good friends? The ex and the new guy I mean?
    He can't tell her not to bring anyone. . . that's some serious mixed signals there.
    If the 2 guys are friends, she could keep it mum until after the wedding out of respect for the marrrying couple, otherwise. . . there's no need to hide things from the ex IMO.
     
  3. The ex and new guy are not good friends, just know each other from the "friends circle".

    The ex was the "girl" in the relationship.

    Gonna be hard to hide, coz the "new couple" is staying at the same hotel as all the guests.

    Hard one, I know!
     
  4. But they BROKE UP. If she tip toes around him too much, she's sending mixed messages as well.
    Really, IMO, they shouldn't play games.
    Either they broke up and are able to see other people, or not.
    Since the ex and new person aren't buddies, there's no problem IMO.
     
  5. ^^ couldn't agree better ~

    They broke up. Thats the end of the relationship! NO one can tell each other what to do.
     
  6. She does not owe her Ex anything, it is none of his business. She should go and have a great time...... He is a EX and she does not need to answer to him.
     
  7. I'm in this same situation RIGHT NOW!!!:blink:

    I was engaged, but we broke it off. I've somehow remained friends with my ex, and talk to him from time to time. We really are on very good terms.

    Anyway, for the past five months, I've been seeing a friend of his. Not one of his best friends, but a good enough friend that he will be livid if/when he finds out.

    Here's how I feel. My ex-fiance isn't owed any type of explanation from me. If I run into him while I'm out with the new guy, then so be it. But I really don't feel like I owe him an explanation, or to tell him in advance.

    We were together once, but that's over. I don't need to explain myself to him anymore, and your friend doesn't have to explain herself to her ex either.
     
  8. Chihuahua--I think it would be courteous to tell him, especially since the new guy is one of your ex's good friends. Why can't the new guy tell the ex? I'm confused. Thank goodness I haven't had to deal with this. PERSONALLY, if I ever broke up with my BF, I would not date any of his friends, even if I wanted to. It's just not right.
     
  9. ___________________________________

    I would not date any of his friends, even if I wanted to. It's just not right.
    ___________________________________

    We live in a VERY small town; and I mean SMALL. It's kind of hard (no; it's VERY hard) to find someone that isn't friends with my ex. He is very well known in my town, and it seems that everybody is a friend of his. So I'd be screwed if I went by your suggestion of not dating a friend of my ex's. He's dated friends of mine, and I could care less.

    Why can't my new guy tell my ex? Because he's a private person, and doesn't feel like it's any of my ex's business.

    We've been broken up for five years, and I've managed not to date any of his friends. This one is the one I'm going to marry (hopefully), so that's just too bad for my ex!
     
  10. ^^ Hi hon, I didn't mean it in a negative way. Just my personal opinion (I live in humongous LA!). Ack, I reread it again and it sounded mean and I didn't intend for it to come out that way at all! Best wishes with your relationship! :heart:
     
  11. It didn't come off as mean at all. No need to apologize. I think if you lived in the town I live in, you'd be able to appreciate it better. As a matter of fact, when I first started dating the new guy, my friends couldn't believe that I actually was able to find a single guy in this town!
    :roflmfao: :yes:
     
  12. LOL! :lol: That's hilarious. Remind me never to let anyone move there! :angel:
     
  13. I guess it depends on how long ago theier relationship ended. If its just recent, the ex my wonder what has been going on. There fore harder to tell. If he left the relationship to seek others you owe him nothing.
    If the relationship ended some time ago again you owe him nothing. IMO!


     
  14. Actually, I think it's just 2-3 months ago when she moved out.

    Doesn't want a "confrontation" at the wedding...so she wants to tell him beforehand.
     
  15. If I were in that situation, it depends if I am still in good terms with the ex or not. If I'm still friends with the ex, I will tell him. If not, why should I? I have no obligation to tell him other than maybe if I want to as a friend. Just a heads up or something.