How do you deal with a family member that you do not like?

  1. I'm going to appologize right from the beginning, because this may end up being a long post. Basically, my problem is that for some reason, I can not be nice to my mom's aunt. I just can't do it! There are just so many things about her that aggrivate me, and for some reason I get angry/ticked off when she's around. I have absolutely no idea why!! I feel bad, because I tend to be very snippy when she's around and at times feel the need to talk back and mock her. :sad:

    I guess it would be good for me to write down all of the things that I don't like about her. Maybe that would help you understand?

    1. She talks. A LOT! I swear, it's like she doesn't shut up. Take for example: this weekend we drove to Leipzig (a 3 hour drive) and she basically talked the whole way.

    2. She's a backseat driver. I absolutely CAN NOT stand that!!! Ughhhh. It's one of my biggest pet peeves. Everytime she sees a speed limit sign, she feels the need to tell me a whole bunch of times. Hello!! I can see the signs too, I don't need you to tell me.

    3. She feeds my cousin, Nicole, BS information just so that she can get her to do what she wants. If she wants her to get something for her, she'll say "Go get this for me, or else [insert dead person's name here] will punish you." I mean, what in the world?!

    4. She tends to negate everything I say and take everything word for word. If I say that someone's t-shirt is purple, she'll sit there and say "No no no, that's not purple. Clearly, that's lilac." :rant: :rant: :rant:

    5. Nothing can be relaxed when she's around. If we have to go grocery shopping on a day when we have nothing to do, we have to be out of the house by 9am. I'm the type of person who likes to enjoy my breakfast and I like to read the newspaper in the mornings with a cup of Coffee. I don't need the stress of getting showered and running to the store at 9am. I always try and tell her that we can go later (after lunch, etc) but she'll make a big deal out of it and I usually just give in just so she'll shut up.

    6. She tends to overexhaggerate (sp??) everything. If I sneeze - she says I'm going to get pneumonia or something crazy like that. Nothing can be the way it is, it always has to be blown out of proportion.

    Maybe I'm the one who blows things out of proportion? IDK. There's just some reason why I don't like her. I can't really figure it out, and I really do feel bad about it. I'm the type of person who is usually nice to everybody and I hate it that I can't be nice to her.

    Anybody have any tips? :sad:
     
  2. Stay away from her??!!!!!!!
    Seriously..My mom and I dont get along at all..she is very cruel at times..She lives far away..and small visits in small doses works for me...
     
  3. I really can't. We're living with my grandmother now until the apartment we're getting opens up. My mom's aunt comes to visit about once a month and she usually comes for 3-4 days. But once we have our own place, it'll definitely be better!
     
  4. Jill - I'm so sorry to hear you and your mom don't get along, I have a very similar situation with my father, we haven't spoken since November. I have to say as sad as it makes me, my life is a lot easier without him in it.

    Iamiastella - poor you, I feel terribly for you. Family are usually the best people to be around, but as they say - there's one in every group! I have annoying family members too that I stay as far away from as I can - that helps me cope, that and a big bottle of wine - lol...

    Do you have a place to escape when she comes to visit? Friend's place? Boyfriend's?
     
  5. I never really thought of going to my Boyfriend's as an escape, thanks for that idea Jo! He's usually never home, but I'm sure if I told him that I'd head over there whenever things got to stressy for me (I have a key) he wouldn't mind :smile:
     
  6. You are welcome :smile: I hope that helps your situation out. Annoying family can turn into such messy situations if the wrong thing is said, and then everyone has something to say about it - it's better to just remove yourself to keep your sanity :smile:

    Is that your boyfriend in the picture?
     
  7. Yes, it is :smile: It's one of my favorite pictures of him
     
  8. Very handsome :smile: If I ever get a good one of mine, maybe I'll post it - he is SO uncooperative about pictures -lol...

    Anyhoo, I hope all works out with your mom's aunt.
     
  9. i have a couple aunts that i dont like and i just stay away from them in general. by cultural tradition, i greet them in order of younger to elder respect, but that's it. i dont bother talking or even looking at them after that.
     

  10. I agree with that too. One time I got into a fight w/ my aunt and it just backfired on me, even though I was right.

    So i just stay quiet and stay away.. say hi and then do my own thing, if I'm at a family party.



    Jill, I can totally relate to you... I love my mom, but we can only be around each other for only a week. After that, we start to get on each other's nerves... LOL
     
  11. When you aunt comes to visit try to make other plans. Stay away from the house ... erm .... her .... as much as possible. There really is no other answer unfortunately. It doesn't sound like she's a person that is going to change.
     
  12. Just ignore her. Try to be out of the house on the days she's visiting (go to the movies, go shopping, visit the library-anything to get out of the house for a few hours). Keep your answers to her short but polite.

    I think most people have a relative or two like that unfortunately.
     
  13. Your aunt sounds a lot like my grandmother. The only way to deal with them is to avoid them as much as possible. I know it sounds pretty awful, but they are just so self centered that they don't care what you think or how you feel about anything.
     
  14. I ignore:roflmfao: them as much as possible. I also try to keep a healthy distance.
     
  15. This may be a different answer than you want, but I have found that if you can successfully learn to emotionally/psychologically disengage with people like this your life will be significantly happier. What I mean is, when you are able to control the response you have to her (both emotional and physical) you will have won the battle. Then, you can do it with other people you meet in life, co-workers, neighbors, etc. It takes time and practice, you will have to work at it just as if you were learning a new language. But, with time, it will work.