Hey, let's share funny forward e-mails!

  1. Come on ladies, let's share your funny ones. I don't work any more so I don't get many FWs any more (even though most of the time my former trader colleagues send me sexist ones).

    OK, here is one;

    >HE SAYS, SHE SAYS
    >
    >He says: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
    >She says: You wear pants, don't you?
    >
    >He says: Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
    >She says: OK -- you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa!
    >
    >He says: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
    >She says: Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
    >
    >He says: Want a quickie?
    >She says: As opposed to what?
    >
    >* * * * * * * * *
    >
    >Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
    >A. They already have boyfriends.
    >
    >Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is very night?
    > A. A widow
    >
    >Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
    >A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
    >
    >Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
    >A.They're married.
    >
    >* * * * * * *
    >
    >On a wall in a ladies' room: "My husband follows me everywhere." Written below it: "I do not!"
    >
    >"God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
    >"So you would love her."
    >"But why did you make her so dumb?"
    >"So she would love you."
    >
    >You have two choices in life: stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
    >
    >At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
    > The other replied, "Yes I am; I married the wrong man."
    >
    >A lady inserted a classified ad: 'Husband wanted'. Next day she received a hundred responses. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine".
    >
    >When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
    >
    >Eighty percent of married men cheat in the USA. The rest cheat in Canada.
    >
    >A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
    >
    >A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
    >
    >Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
    >Dad: "That happens in every country, son."
    >
    >Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
    >
    >Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
    >
    >If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
    >
    >Just think: if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
    >
    >You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
    >
    >First guy: "My wife's an angel!"
    >Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

    Please share yours so I can have a laugh, too!
     
  2. My mother sent me this - "Why Women Stay Single"


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    :roflmfao: :roflmfao: