**Hermes Chat**

#10,666
MadMadCat said:
Well said, Mindi.
A good friend of mine years ago told me that she would never ever say something negative against a female co-worker because she wanted to fight the culture of women being mean to each other in the workplace. She thought that being nice, and never say anything negative would become a good examples for others.
This was three years ago.
Recently she told me she was giving up. "Other women are making it more and more difficult for me to shut up". The last drop was when a co-worker stated calling her "fat duckling" because she gained some weight after the surgery that removed her reproductive organs. She is smart, decent human being, very good at her job, but she is forced to defend herself on a field in which she doesn't want to play.
I am not sure why women cannot just compete on the professional field like men do.
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I'd put some nuances into your last comment. There are some women who play dirty to show they're as tough as men. Sadly, I know of those. Years later, after life could be said to have dealt her a bad hand, one apologized to me. But those years in-between were not easy! When a women mistreats another women, there is a sense of betrayal.

I think you are referring to men with integrity and thankfully, those do exist. How much they are a model for ambitious women I can't tell b/c I haven't seen any imprinting yet. The difficulty is that "decent" can be construed as "nice" and "nice" becomes "weak" which can come across as vulnerable.
 
#10,667
The company that sent me the musty smelling tights refunded my $$ after customer svc advised me to send the tights back. Not happy about this because I needed some replacements and this company does fashion colors as well as basics. The tights are good quality, they just smell like they got stored in a dark, dank basement. Rats. There are stores that sell tights, I don't think they sell the plus size in the stores. Rats. Rats. Rats. DH thinks the company knows what they sell and that's why they didn't switch my order to non-smelling replacements (which I requested). They didn't have any!!!!!! Oh, rats. Totally. I like dresses and skirts. I could get some sheer hose in my size in a department store but sheer hose are so delicate. I plop them in a lingere bag in a machine set on delicate. The tights survive well, the hosiery not so much.
 
#10,668
eagle1002us said:
I'd put some nuances into your last comment. There are some women who play dirty to show they're as tough as men. Sadly, I know of those. Years later, after life could be said to have dealt her a bad hand, one apologized to me. But those years in-between were not easy! When a women mistreats another women, there is a sense of betrayal.

I think you are referring to men with integrity and thankfully, those do exist. How much they are a model for ambitious women I can't tell b/c I haven't seen any imprinting yet. The difficulty is that "decent" can be construed as "nice" and "nice" becomes "weak" which can come across as vulnerable.
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yes, decent men. But men who play dirty are flagged as such, at least in my environment, and avoided by everyone. I agree with not seeing imprinting of the good, decent men on many career oriented women. Not sure why...maybe it is like Mindi says, we're wired differently. Still, well into the XXI century, I'd hope the our intellectual integrity would be sufficiently aware to overcome the evolutionary "fight for the mate" attitude.
 
#10,669
eagle1002us said:
The company that sent me the musty smelling tights refunded my $$ after customer svc advised me to send the tights back. Not happy about this because I needed some replacements and this company does fashion colors as well as basics. The tights are good quality, they just smell like they got stored in a dark, dank basement. Rats. There are stores that sell tights, I don't think they sell the plus size in the stores. Rats. Rats. Rats. DH thinks the company knows what they sell and that's why they didn't switch my order to non-smelling replacements (which I requested). They didn't have any!!!!!! Oh, rats. Totally. I like dresses and skirts. I could get some sheer hose in my size in a department store but sheer hose are so delicate. I plop them in a lingere bag in a machine set on delicate. The tights survive well, the hosiery not so much.
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Sorry to hear that, Eagle :sad:
Maybe it is just me, but if they are so hard to find, I'd just try to get rid of the smell by washing them or burying them in baking soda for a week.
PS: I hate sheer hoses.
 
#10,670
MadMadCat said:
Sorry to hear that, Eagle :sad:
Maybe it is just me, but if they are so hard to find, I'd just try to get rid of the smell by washing them or burying them in baking soda for a week.
PS: I hate sheer hoses.
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Sadly, that is one heckuva musty warehouse those tights are evidently stored in. I've done baking soda and washing (except for the new ones that arrived) and the odor is like the "beast" of a Seinfeld episode, extremely hard to get rid of. Stale perfume like from resold scarves is another "beast." Ok, I've vented. There are some new sports fabrics that evidently do not hold on to odors, they may be antibacterial.
 
#10,671
eagle1002us said:
Sadly, that is one heckuva musty warehouse those tights are evidently stored in. I've done baking soda and washing (except for the new ones that arrived) and the odor is like the "beast" of a Seinfeld episode, extremely hard to get rid of. Stale perfume like from resold scarves is another "beast." Ok, I've vented. There are some new sports fabrics that evidently do not hold on to odors, they may be antibacterial.
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Oh wow. Sorry...that sucks.
 
#10,672
eagle1002us said:
The company that sent me the musty smelling tights refunded my $$ after customer svc advised me to send the tights back. Not happy about this because I needed some replacements and this company does fashion colors as well as basics. The tights are good quality, they just smell like they got stored in a dark, dank basement. Rats. There are stores that sell tights, I don't think they sell the plus size in the stores. Rats. Rats. Rats. DH thinks the company knows what they sell and that's why they didn't switch my order to non-smelling replacements (which I requested). They didn't have any!!!!!! Oh, rats. Totally. I like dresses and skirts. I could get some sheer hose in my size in a department store but sheer hose are so delicate. I plop them in a lingere bag in a machine set on delicate. The tights survive well, the hosiery not so much.
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Eagle, they sell opaque tights in plus size at H&M. Not sure of the quality but worth a shot
 
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#10,674
MadMadCat said:
@csshopper, @Genie27 @eagle1002us thank you for your support! Since this all happened by email, the documentation is there and undeniable. This year has been particularly challenging, and i have been leading the largest project ever undertaken by the organization. It is in time and under budget. People working in the project under my management are energized and happy, in a completely opposite trend than the rest of the org, that is rather depressed and demotivated.

This organization has always been quite conservative with its grading, at least since i started working here, and i am in the less than 10% of the people who have been graded above average or better. I am pretty sure it is not just a renormalization.

I ended up writing him an email with my objection and he just replied saying he will take a second look at my review. We'll see. I feel a bit better, althought these are the things that make me feel worse about my workplace despite the fun and rewarding projects i can do.
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I agree with your frustration and don't think it's out of line at all. I'm sorry you have to deal with such dimwits. It is good to move forward if you love the job, save the emails just in case. It also doesn't seem right that the same person is in charge of HR. To whom are they accountable?
 
#10,675
dharma said:
I agree with your frustration and don't think it's out of line at all. I'm sorry you have to deal with such dimwits. It is good to move forward if you love the job, save the emails just in case. It also doesn't seem right that the same person is in charge of HR. To whom are they accountable?
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The board of trustees....I don't think they'd care dealing with the minutia of staff management. One can only hope that his poor judgement at some point will display in other situations. Thank you for your support!!
 
#10,677
Hello,
A question, I have been trying to do some reading up on the sellier and the retourne, The Pros and Cons I am curious, Why do you ladies like your Sellier or Retourne? Why do you have prefer that style over the other.
 
#10,679
I don't mind them, lulilu! They are at least, to my eye, well-done. Don't have the desire to own one, but I sort of like the "LOVE" one. Kim K's infamous "painting" bag is infinitely worse.
 
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