Help...Divorce question

#47
I can only imagine what you're going through. I have no advice other than what these ladies have already said. Do get copies of financial statements and make sure you have documents of everything you have both owned. ((((hugs))))
 
#50
Japster said:
My best wishes of support to you. I too agree with Selena and Roo and what everyone else has said! Grab all your financials and copy EVERYTHING. Set up a seperate bank account, designate all of your wishes regarding your children and get a PITBULL for a lawyer.

I wish I was in CA so that I could take you out for coffee or drinks. :drinks:
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Well said and I totally agree!

Take care. You deserve better!!!!!!!!!
 
#52
OMG this makes me soo angry, you have been there through his entire military career and now that he is close to retirement, he thinks he can just dump you and his responsibilities. I'm in the military myself, I see this all the time. You better get an attorney and take him for every red cent. Also speak to the JAG and see if they can help you out. He can also get in trouble if he's in Japan with someone else. He is not allowed to freely date in the military until the divorce is final. OK I'll stop now but if you ever need to talk I'm here,we are all here for you.
 
#53
I am really sorry for your situation.
Regarding the name change, you can change your name back anytime you want!
You just have to notify social security and such.

I do hope you find peace and are ok...
 
#54
BagFreak said:
OMG this makes me soo angry, you have been there through his entire military career and now that he is close to retirement, he thinks he can just dump you and his responsibilities. I'm in the military myself, I see this all the time. You better get an attorney and take him for every red cent. Also speak to the JAG and see if they can help you out. He can also get in trouble if he's in Japan with someone else. He is not allowed to freely date in the military until the divorce is final. OK I'll stop now but if you ever need to talk I'm here,we are all here for you.
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Thanks for the info. I believe I will contact the Jag office here tomorrow to see about references, but I know they are only concerned with their member, the military member foremost. So I am leary about that as well. But I am glad to also hear from other military members and their experiences as well because I am shocked at what he could possibly be doing in Japan. Thanks for this information.
 
#55
Holli,

I'm so sorry to hear about what you and your kids are about to be thrown into. I'm sorry to say....but he sounds like a total JACKA#$

I know divorce is never easy (my parents are divorced) but you WILL get through this and come out stronger!!!

HUGS HUGS HUGS!!!
 
#57
No Way......:wtf: Its so disturbing...especially when he has grown kids.....

He is no man.....he is scum!!!! I believe that he will feel the pain...though much later about what he has done. I see so many divorced men especailly later on in their life...as they give up the truely great family he has built for a life of short pleasures....they usually dont do well at all.

I know many men I see at bars, sitting and looking old and desperate, drinking alone or with other pathetic friends and looking around for some fun....ladies laugh in their face. Trust me, its not easy out there...as he will see. Even if he thinks he found someone......You know how it goes...all relationships start out great, then reality hits, he could have opened up a whole new can of worms for himself with someone else.....that rotten A**wipe....sorry.....so pissed off right now......:cursing:

You have your family, kids and the fact that you did not give up on your family and you might even find a greater life than you had ever known to exist.....

All my thoughts and good wishes to you and your family.......:heart: :heart:
 
#59
I think with the amount of time you have been married, you quality for LIFETIME alimony. You have one thing in your favor, the fact that he is out of the country, I would think that is going to complicate things more for him. Another tip get a credit card in your name only. Not off of his Social. When you separate or he files, he can cancel all of your cards and you are SOL.
 
#60
Holliwood--I feel your pain, honey. I'm going through this, too. Please feel free to PM me if you need some moral support or just need to vent.

I will tell you right now that the emotional roller coaster you are on only gets worse. It seems like everyday I feel something different. I was devastated at first and then furious. I remember my first week was awful. I must have looked like hell because everyone kept asking me if I was ok. I cried all the time, over anything and everything. Then I got mad. REALLY mad. I probably said and did some things to him that I shouldn't have, but it felt good!

I've kind of moved into the pleasantly numb/really don't give a damn stage, but will slip back into being sad or angry very easily. It's easier when I don't see him, but then again I wonder what he is doing with his time, who he's seeing, etc. If I start to dwell on that too much, it makes me crazy!

I have a soon to be 5-year old who is not coping well with the situation. At least your children are old enough to understand most of what's going on. My little guy just thinks his daddy has abandoned him no matter what I tell him or how much I attempt to console him. My son is my rock and without him I don't know where I would be. It breaks my heart to see him affected by his father's carelessness, but all I can do is continue to show him how much I love him and to keep all of the promises I make.

Keep your chin up and take care of yourself! Again, please PM me anytime if you need to!:flowers:
 
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