Has anyone had a falling out with a close friend? =(

#16
thanks for all the stories and advice...it's amazing how people think bf/gf breakups are devastating, but often the end of friendships is even more heartbreaking because "boyfriends come and go, but friends are forever" :shrugs:

Your stories have reminded me that friendships are a two-way street. I think I have done my fair share in salvaging this friendship once before, and now the ball is in her court.......:s
 
#17
i had similar experiences.
i didnt fall out with just a close friend, but two. we used to be best mates during high sch, then we got separated after high sch.

we didnt seem to understand each other anymore.
 
#18
I don't have any advice to offer as I'm struggling myself with a similar situation (no falling out, just loosing interest in the friendship).

But I did want to let you know that I sympathize with you. Feelings toward friends can be so intense and confusing. I hope things work out for you.
 
#19
Quite recently I had a falling out with my oldest friend - she was generally angry with me and accused me of something that she knew very well I hadn't done. I just bit the bullet and apologised - we're grown up now and time you spend angry with those closest to you is time wasted, IMO.
 
#20
One of my girlfirends and I stopped talking after I didn't go to her wedding . She scheduled in on Thanksgiving weekend and I had just learned the week before that my mother was sick with RA. It's not like I was in the wedding or anything. After all if if wasn't for me she would have never met her husband. He was bf with my boyfried at the time. Since then and that's been almost three years, I believe we've talked twice. Hopefully you can patch things up with your friend.
 
#21
I'm sorry it happened to you... stuff like this happens. I had a falling out with a couple friends, a bf from high school and another from college. I don't talk to either although both tried to make amends to me. Not because I don't want to be friends, it just because we've drifted apart and no longer have anything in common.

If you're happy with your life, then it's ok if things don't work out between you and your friend. But if you feel that you need to, at least clear the air so things aren't left in a bad place.
 
#22
I agree that people change & move on but you should have one last try at revitalising this friendship as it obvioulsy is bothering you not having this girl in your life.
 
#23
thithi said:
I'm sorry it happened to you... stuff like this happens. I had a falling out with a couple friends, a bf from high school and another from college. I don't talk to either although both tried to make amends to me. Not because I don't want to be friends, it just because we've drifted apart and no longer have anything in common.

If you're happy with your life, then it's ok if things don't work out between you and your friend. But if you feel that you need to, at least clear the air so things aren't left in a bad place.
Click to expand...

that really made me sense to me, thank you :heart:
 
#24
Yes, and I miss her like crazy! But I'm also worried we've both changed a lot from who we were when we were friends and that things could never be even close to how it was before. We've e-mailed each other and everything, but things pretty much stop there. Maybe I'll write her a real letter...
 
#25
Funny timing for me to read this thread! I just reconnected with a friend I had a small falling out with... we haven't talked to six months but are now reconnecting. I think it's worth it to hang tight to friendships -- pride be damned! There are so few things in this world to be truly mad about to the point of cutting someone off forever.
 
#26
I was best friends with somebody for 14 years (since we were 4 and I moved next door to her). We went to school together, had sleep overs, she came on holiday with us and as we got older we went clubbing together etc etc.

She started seeing my bf's (at the time) best friend. My BF (of 6 years) then split up and I met my husband. My friend and my ex BF's best fried ended up having a daughter together. About 4 years after that I had my daughter and we were still quite close. They then had a son.

We agreed to meet one day and go swimming. She phoned to say that her daughter was sick and they would not be able to come and apart from seeing her in town twice, I haven't heard from her since.

I've stopped being upset about it but I do sometimes miss her.

Its strange but I don't think she ever really got over the fact that I split up with my old Boyfriend - I know she had a thing for him.
 
#27
I had a relationship with someone from when we were in kindergarten (about 20 years long) and we had a HUGE falling out almost 10 years ago. There were a lot of things that contributed to the ending of the friendship, including her disastrous relationship with my BIL (which is a whole other thread), but in the end, it all boiled down to her no longer treating me like a friend. When she wanted my support, I was supposed to drop everything and run to her (and stay with her forsaking my marriage and life until she felt ok) and when she didn't want me around, I was to pretend I did not exist. It ended very messily.

I would definitely speak to her if we saw each other again, but I've never gone out of my way to track her down. I do hope she's ok and doing much better than she was when we last spoke. I guess the reason I never pursued her is b/c I was very angry about the situation for some time after our friendship ended and as time has gone by, I've just had more and more life things to deal with and with time and distance between us, it never seemed like a priority. I do think about her often though. I don't have a hollow feeling however. For me it's more of a if I saw/ran into her/happened to speak to her again that would be great, but at this time I feel I made the last real attempt to open the lines of communication and she responded by calling my home when she knew I woudn't be there and telling my dh that it would be a long time before we could speak.

I always look back and see that the friendship appeared to be ending on its own terms anyway, but the events that preceeded our big blowout sped up the process - instead of drifting apart, the relationship really imploded, which is a shame.
 
#29
IntlSet said:
I think it's interesting that so many of us define an entire friendship by its ending.
Click to expand...

Nah, I just wish I had the guts to end it sooner. With the college friend I told off, I realized she wasn't a good friend during my second year of college, not during the end of my senior year which is when our "friendship" ended. At first, she came off as very friendly and generous...however, the more I got to know her, the more I realized she was calculating, selfish, and liked to take advantage of "emotional bullying" (something that girls like to use). Of course, I didn't care at the time because at the time I was an "ally" and she would just gossip to me about other people...and admittedly, I was too weak to say otherwise.

During the rest of my undergrad years, her attitude just got worse and worse (she was spreading vicious lies and half-truths about my other friends, made her weak-willed friends do incredulous "favors" for her, and would always make herself have a greater advantage over other people), and with my emotional state senior year, I just didn't want to deal with her...and I got on her "bad" side. I'm pretty sure she never thought I'd step up and tell her I didn't want to speak to her again because when I wrote her an e-mail calling her out, I never heard from her, ever.

The only thing I regret about cutting things off with her was falling out of touch with my other college friends, whom I'm sure she influenced one way or the other. Although she's definitely NOT the worse person I've ever met (there are other people I've met far worse than she), I really would rather not associate with her ever again.
 
#30
I had this " best friend" who had a really hard childhood. She always used that as an excuse and was really manulpalative, and people always asked why I was friend with her. I always made excuses for her, but then when my dad got sick , she wasn't there for me at all and told me when I was crying one day that he was never going to get better. Then he passed away a month later and she didn't even go to the wake and the funeral because she already had plans to go to Vegas. I just ignored her calls and figured that I would deal with it later since I had so much on my plate, but then she emailed me one day saying that it hurt her feelings that I wasn't there for her because she is going through depression !! After that I completly cut her off.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top
Back