Had a big fight with my husband

  1. Just had a big fight with my husband..
    It sounds so silly..

    Earlier this morning, he asked me if his card was in his wallet, I told him yes..
    Apparently, it wasnt.. He was paying for some stuffs when he realised that. And he doesnt have enough cash on it too.
    He came home and we have a big fight. He packed his laptop and most of his stuffs and wanted to leave.
    I cried and yes, I screamed at him.
    Divorce was mentioned ( for a card? *Sigh* ).
    He threatens me with my baby. He said he will fight for her just to make me be miserable.

    He left.

    I've calmed down already but I just felt so bitter inside.
    I have been with him for nearly 5 years and I never felt so terrible. Even if he's in fault, I'm supposed to apologise to him. He almost never apologised to me before. I never got any surprises from him throughout the 5 years. No gifts on my birthday and special occasions. He rarely tells me that he loves me... He said love doesnt need to be said.. *But I do want to hear it~* BUT, I know he does loves me.

  2. Oh, that's horrible. ((hugs)). I hope things get straighten out soon.
  3. sorry good luck, hope he calms down, but maybe do you think it has to do with something other than the card?
  4. iM SO SORRY.....

    However I kinda question him if he threatens u with your child?Ive had plenty of fights with PHH..he would NEVER EVER threaten like that ever......
    I would do some seriuos talkin with him.Just a card..so what.....Phh once went to the store without his wallet cuz I took it ....he just laughed it off..KWIM?
  5. No. It's the card.
    He just want me to apologise and nods my head while he scolds me..
    I have been doing that for ages.. I do not have a good temper myself and I just have enough today..
    I want an apology from him..

    Nvm, as long as my daughter is here with me, I dont feel so pain..
  6. Whenever I get into a fight with someone (ie. bf, family), I try to think about the positive things they have done for me... not just the negatives. That usually will calm me down fast.

    And like samoXenina said above, it might be more than the card that he's mad about? :sad:
  7. Well, I think that gotta do with him being a Chinese with that male's pride.

    He always find some stuffs to threaten me with... most of the time indirectly..

    P.S: I actually did apologised to him while we were having the fight.
  8. He cannot use your marriage and your daughter as a weapon. That is SO not cool!
  9. sounds like he has more on his mind thats bothering him than the credit card. by what you've said, sounds like you may have some things to get off your chest. I know we say this alot in here but you guys may need to get into some counseling. Its just good to have a neutral person to be objective and referee.
  10. Oohh... the stereotypical Chinese man who thinks he's always right due to their egotistic personality?! :push:
  11. Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear you are having an arguement with your SO. *HUG* It is surprising to hear that he got so angry about his card not being there that he mentioned divorce. For such a little thing to trigger something that big, makes no sense. You both need to do much talking. It seems like you are unhappy, too. He needs to tell you why he is unhappy. You need to talk for the happiness of your beautiful daughter. Don't let it build up any longer-talk to him and listen to him. :flowers:
  12. hi, if u think he just wants to hear u apologise and nod head and u said u've been doing that for ages although u indicated u do not have a good temper yourself, my question is will there be another time when something happens and u are not in the mood to do the "protocol"?

    if it's going to happen again I suggest to look deeper and talk to your husband when things have cool down. Maybe even a marriage counselor if need be. Communication is very important and both parties play important role in marriage.

    maybe he's just egoistic but in this case i'll say both parties share the "fault" -> husband never check for his own stuff, wife assume thing is in place. personally i check for my own things and do not think it's appropriate to assume my hubby needs to make sure my thing is in its place.

    although if this is not a usual case (i.e husband does not always ask u to make sure whatever he's asking for is in place) than in that case i'll either (1) check and reply or (2) say sorry but i'm busy at the moment can u check yourself please? thanks

    sorry if i sound harsh in any way i do not mean to be. hope all things work out ((Hug))
  13. I'm so sorry you had a fight with your husband, but it is not fair for him at all to threaten you for any reason EVER. You should be equal in the marriage. Where does he get off thinking he has any power over you????? This is 2007....not 1950!!!!!
  14. Soz to hear of your fight. Hope you work things out! :flowers:
  15. oh i'm so sorry to hear about that. fights are hard :sad:

    but you know it's a really silly thing and he;s totally blowing it out of proportion. he's mentioning the D word and threatening you with your baby because of a CARD?!?!

    i think there are some issues here that you need to work out.... why is he mentioning the D word and threatening you with the baby? i think you should look into marriage counseling.

    next time get him to check these things himself. just say, yes i believe it's there but you should check for yourself.

    i think you need to work on some things with him. it's not right that you're apologizing all the time. start now. don't apologize for this incident. he should apologize for his rant and unreasonable behavior.

    and he should get you stuff. take small steps, ask him to get you something for your birthday and anniversary. if you don't think he'll know what to get, tell him what you want. and then slowly train him. it takes time and work.

    tell him its important to you that he tells you he loves and cares for you. don't let him just say it doesn't need to be said, tell him you need to hear it!!

    ive seen too many relationships go down this line, and you need to put him in check or it will just deteriorate and he'll take you for granted. you also need to think if you're really happy in this relationship and try to work out what you're not happy with.

    i hope things get better soon. Hugs and :heart: