Great Truths

  1. It put a smile on my face today! So I thought I'd share:smile:

    GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

    1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
    2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
    3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
    second person.
    4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
    5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
    6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
    7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
    8)You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
    9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
    10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.



    GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

    1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
    2) Wrinkles don't hurt.

    3) Families are like fudge?mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
    4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
    5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
    6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.




    GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
    1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional. (Personally, I
    think this is backwards: Growing Old is Mandatory, Growing Up is
    Optional?.)
    2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
    3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
    there.
    4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
    chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
    5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
    ask you the questions.
    6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
    7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.



    THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
    1) You believe in Santa Claus.
    2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
    3) You are Santa Claus.
    4) You look like Santa Claus.



    SUCCESS:
    At age 4 success is . .. not peeing in your pants.
    At age 12 success is . ?having friends.
    At age 16 or 18 success is ? having a drivers license.
    At age 35 success is ? having money.
    At age 50 success is . . having money.
    At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
    At age 75 success is ?. having friends.
    At age 80 success is ?. not peeing in your pants.



    Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER
    forget the blessings that come each day.Have a wonderful day with many
    *smiles*
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  2. Great thread !


    Thanks for posting !
     
  3. :biggrin: I love this... Thanks!
     
  4. There were all so cute! Thanks for sharing.
    I especially like the one that states
    Success is at 70 is being able to drive...lol. My mother is 74, father 76 and my grandfather is 90 and they each still driving and driving well...and we are always laughing about it. Especially my grandfather--who can also boast that he's never had a ticket like the rest of us have either.....LOL. He loves to remind everyone in the family of that.....lol.
     
  5. LOL, these are hilarious! Great truths chlidren have learned is my favorite.

    Thanks for sharing!
     
  6. I personally strive for both! :roflmfao:
     
  7. Loved it. Thanks for posting!
     
  8. haha too cute! i enjoyed reading this. thanks!
     
  9. Thanks for sharing!
     
  10. :roflmfao: Too funny!!!
     
  11. Love it!:heart:
    Reading these bring a smile to my face:yes:

    Thanks for posting:flowers:
     
  12. Too funny--and true! :roflmfao: Thanks for sharing!
     
  13. Very cute!! Thanks for sharing!!!
     
  14. k. bell, love it!

    Especially: 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.(so true, LOL)
     
  15. Very cute & funny! Thanks for posting!