I know I haven't been on here too much lately.. Some days it's just too painful and some days I find comfort. Anyway, some of you may recall that DH and I have been trying for about 3 1/2 years. About 2 years of infertility treatments on and off. I've had 4 Artificial Inseminations and 1 IVF, all unsuccessful. This past August we did IVF and it didn't work and my dr told me they would not do a 2nd one if it wasn't with an egg donor. They thought my chances were too small to even do it at all with my own eggs but they thought they would give me a chance. Anyway, we decided to get a 2nd opinion in the city. I so need a break right now but I can't wait too long because of course, my biological clock is really ticking. Well they said that they don't see why they wouldn't try it. They said that at best, without reviewing my records from the previous doctor, I have a 10% chance of getting pregnant with my own eggs. 60% if I would do a donor egg. DH and I want to try it with my own eggs. So I'm excited that they said they would try it. They have had women in my situation and age get pregnant but of course it's a slim chance. It just stinks having to go through all this.. My last dr was not even a mile from my house and now I'll have to go into the city for all those appts during morning rush hour and then go to work.. Yuck! But we will do it for that 10% percent chance. I'm excited and worried at the same time. It's so physically and emotionally draining. But through all that pain, DH and I have held strong together and it's just shown me more and more how right we are together. The holidays have been so difficult. We don't even open up Christmas cards because everyone sends those cards with their kids photos on it. It's too hard to look at. Christmas shopping stinks.. I had to buy for 23 kids and sometimes I wonder if I'll be ever buying these cute baby outfits for a child of our own. But the New year brings new hope and a new docotor.. so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Thank you girls for always supporting and listening, it really does help knowing I'm not alone.