Gossip and honesty

[orderandlaw]

If someone hears something unkind or unpleasant about someone that matters in their life, should they tell them? Do you expect someone to tell you if they hear negative gossip about you? How much honesty is too much?

For me, it is tricky. It depends on how negative it is. I'd like to know if someone was saying it to me, so I would probably tell the person. But I think it would depend on who's saying it and who it's about.

 

[Sweetpea83]

I like to keep my mouth shut...if you tell the other person their feelings will get hurt..then it turns into a huge mess. I've learned for myself...

 

[QueenOfDa702]

Then you have to go into the he said She said crap. If I tell a person what someone else said about them, the chances are they are going to confront the person who said the things about them(I know I would). What are the chances of that person who said the bad stuff actually admitting that they said it?? To me, it puts everyone is an awkward situation, and its just not worth it. Soon enough, whoever was being talked about will find out how the other person is. And besides-karma is a *****...

 

[wordpast]

For me it depends on the person and how negative it is. I would tell my sister and my BFF. Doesn't matter if the other person admits to it. They know I wouldn't lie and know that I'm not telling them out of cattiness, jealously etc. And it would have to be major. I'm not going bother them with some small petty BS.

But with an acquaintance or social friend you never know how they're gonna take it. So I would keep my mouth shut.

 

[trixz]

I'll just keep quiet. It doesn't do any good.

 

[Megs]

It depends on the information being shared. I think most of us know when a piece of information is VERY important for the next person to hear, and when it will just make them feel plain bad.

 

[missmustard]

I agree with Megs. It really depends on what the info is!

 

[ShimmaPuff]

It depends on the information being shared. I think most of us know when a piece of information is VERY important for the next person to hear, and when it will just make them feel plain bad.

Yeah. Classic AOLamer-style ME TOOO!

"Arvida said that skirt makes your butt look fat," is the kind of thing you can just keep to yourself, or better yet, forget.

"They had a meeting about downsizing this morning, and Mr Bigbux said your whole department is going to be eliminated at the end of the month because they're going to outsource all that but they're not going to tell anybody about it until then because they know you would all start to complain and they say that would be bad for morale" is something that you would want to tell the person so that they can start looking for a new job right away.

 

[keodi]

Then you have to go into the he said She said crap. If I tell a person what someone else said about them, the chances are they are going to confront the person who said the things about them(I know I would). What are the chances of that person who said the bad stuff actually admitting that they said it?? To me, it puts everyone is an awkward situation, and its just not worth it. Soon enough, whoever was being talked about will find out how the other person is. And besides-karma is a *****...

OOh you hit the nail right on the head and for the same reasons that Queen said so eloquently said, I'd keep my mouth shut!

 

[bagnshoofetish]

heres my take,
if I overhear some people talking about someone I care about, I have no problem confronting them then and there saying something like, "I am very good friends with so and so and where is this coming from?" and I will attempt to nip it in the bud right then and there at the source. If it is something I feel my friend needs to know, I will get all the facts and talk to my friend about it. In a nutshell, if I've heard something disturbing that I cannot corroborate (sic?) I will discuss it with my friend. And lo the wrath to fall upon the people who spread lies about any of my friends.

 

[LAltiero85]

I personally keep my mouth shut. I didn't when I was younger and got myself into things it was tough to get out of.

 

[Glamfoxx]

I remember once when some ignorant twit actually walked up to me and asked if I knew somebody (she was referring to a close friend of mine). I said yes, can I help you? She proceded to blab all sorts of horrible lies and gossip about my friend to me. I am sure I looked pretty shocked, and I said to Twit that it was not a good idea for her to continue speaking to me as the person she is talking about is a close friend. I never told my friend what Twit said. Some people just like to stir up drama, best not to perpetuate it. Besides, people are more than likely aware of the gossipy types as being the gossipy types that they are, and I would rather not fall into that category.

 

[SunnyFreckles]

I often wonder if we would really want to know ourselves...I don't care what people say about me. Yeah, if it is hurtful, it will hurt my feelings. I don't need to know...I prefer to be happy and the less drama the better!