Going away to university?

omgblonde

omgblonde

O.G.
May 26, 2007
3,145
1
#1
The time has come for me to start visiting & applying for universitys. I really can't decide if I want to go away or stay local. How did you all decide if you were ready to move out or not?

On one hand.. I still rely on my parents for everything.. cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. I really wouldn't have a CLUE how to cope alone. I'm really shy when I first meet new people. Then there's the housing.. I'd need somewhere that allows pets, so that probably rules out student halls.. and I wouldn't want to share a bathroom with someone so that rules out a lot of houses that people rent out! Then there's like a million other things that are scaring me!

Then on the other hand.. I live in a small town & if I want to break in the Fashion industry chances are I will have to move anyway.. so wouldn't it be easier to move for Uni & make friends then instead of moving when a job comes about?

Another thing is they only do a Design course where I live (which is what I do now on the ND level.. so it's like a 2yr pre university course).. the courses I'm thinking of doing are more fashion buying or marketing related.

I reaaaallly don't know what to do! I WANT to go to uni but I'm scared I wont cope! I think I'm going to visit the Uni I'm applying at soon to get a feel for the place and the course so I guess that will help me make up my mind a bit.

How did you all feel before moving out?
 
#2
It's normal to be stressed out and unsure of what's going to happen. I was kind of in your shoes you know, living in a "small" town (I mean, it's not that small, we even have a university in my hometown, but it's small compared to Quebec or Montreal). I wanted to study International Relations and had two (well, three) options. Quebec, Montreal, or Ottawa.

So I took my time to make a decision. And kind of compromised. I didn't want to go too far away, and for some reason, Montreal really stresses me out (I'm a pretty stressed/anxious person, so I think I would have been unhappy there), so I decided to go to Quebec. It's not that far away from home and my parents come visit about every 2 weeks (more or less) when they have to come to Quebec for work.

So really, I think you should base your decision first on the program you want to take, then on the school that interests you the most. Maybe compromising, like me, could be your best bet? If it's possible for you to choose a good school that's not too far away from home, maybe that would be better for you? That way, you can still see your parents, your friends, but you study what you want to study.

As for housing, well for my first year, I went to this kind of private student hall things. Basically it was apartments for students, except it wasn't run by the university. I pretty much hated it (for various reasons, mainly the roomies....) and moved out this year, to an offcampus (although a very short bus ride) apartment, where I now live by myself (and with my cat... because I have a pet too and that factored in my decision). So really, there is no right or wrong. It all depends on what you want and what you feel comfortable with. If you move offcampus, doesn't mean you won't make any friends!!! Just get involved in student associations that interest you and sooner than you'll realize you'll have a great gang to haev fun with!!! :flowers:
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#3
Let me tell you - my biggest regret about college is not going away and living in the dorms.

My parents sent me to a pricey private high school. So they said that since I got sent there, college was kinda out of the question. Didn't try at all in HS - I figured why if I knew where I was going to end up? (Community college). Senior year I got bit by the college bug - bad. I realized that I could've gotten into several state schools, but my parents really didn't support me.

I went to a local community college for 3 years. I hated almost every minute of it. The students were nothing like I had seen before - rude, immature, and most of them had no long term goals (not to say that every CC is like this). After my first quarter, I had been accepted to a local state school, but it would've been a commuter school. I turned them down, and two years later I transferred to UC Santa Cruz to get my BA.

Being a transfer student was so hard - most people already had their set group of friends from living with them in the dorms freshman/sophomore year. I had to work harder at making friends, and to top it off I lived off campus my first quarter - big mistake. I was miserable, and trying to work a job on top of that. Needless to say, I moved into on campus housing January of my first year there and loved it.

I wish that I could've spent 4 years at UCSC and had the experience I really wanted - but I know that when I have kids I'll let them do what they want about college.

Sorry I rambled your ear off. Just... don't be scared. Its a little intimidating at first - and if you don't like it, you can always come home and try something else. Best wishes, let us know how it goes!
 
#5
When I first started college in the US, I I wanted to move into the dorms - so my parents supported me in that and allowed me to move on campus. Well...by the time Thanksgiving came around I was already living back home. My first roommate and I weren't a good match. She was up all night while I wanted to sleep - even though in our "questionaires" she put that she was usually in bed by 11. BS!!

So, I moved out of that room and into a better dorm that was suite-like. Two bedrooms with 2 people in each bedroom with a living room & large bathroom connecting the two rooms. I got along well with my roommate, but she started bringing her boyfriend over (didn't have a problem with that) and asking me to leave the room after midnight so they could do their thing. First few times I was okay with it...But when it started happening more often, I confronted her and let her know that I didn't appreciate being kicked out of our room, etc. We started fighting...it got so bad that our neighbors called our RA (at 2am, mind you!) to come to our suite and break up the fight. ...it was bad.

The next day I was locked out of my suite by my roomie and her boyfriend after they had called me a NAZI and accused me of not liking them because they were Jewish. They placed the couch in front of the door and stood against it so I couldn't get in...I demanded to be let in, but they called the police on me - saying that I was 'threatening' them and they felt that they were in danger. Finally, the police came and resolved the situation (chewed my roomie & her bf out for locking me out and wasting their time). I then proceeded to throw all of my stuff out of the room, into our floor's hallway. My at-the-time boyfriend was there helping me. I knew right then and there that I did not ever want to be in the same room as someone who would say such a horrible thing about me...and the worst thing: they had planned it. My suite-mate, katie, told me that she had heard them saying things while taking a shower together but didn't know how to tell me...

I think it's important for everyone to experience what it's like- but I'd never wish the experience I had on anyone! :s
 
#6
you may not want to hear this, but your expectations seem kind of unreasonable for college, at least if it's the schools in the UK are like the ones in the US. college is where you learn to cook, clean, and do your own laundry so you're not dependent on other people forever. college is also where you learn to deal with other people (that AREN'T your family and DON'T love you) in living situations and learn how to do things like compromise and share a bathroom. it's also how you learn to deal with separation from people you love and, most likely, your pets (at least for the first year or two). you're supposed to be uncomfortable at first, and you're not supposed to always love it (although, after you grow a bit, you will).

so if you're not going to embrace those amazing opportunities, then stay home. if you can find it in yourself to step outside your comfort zone and try and make yourself a more complete person, then go, because it'll be one of the greatest opportunities you'll have in your life and you'll kick yourself forever if you don't.

trust me, as someone who came from an affluent background and can now proudly cook, clean, wash clothes, pay bills, get my own oil changed and manage my own schedule, don't waste the opportunity in front of you because the bathroom conditions aren't ideal.
 
#7
Thanks for all your replies girls! I've actually just done some research on the university I want to go to & found out most of the rooms have ensuite shows & toilet.. so that's good! Just need to sneak the bunny rabbit in now LOL

nextnewface How did you feel moving from a smaller town to a large one? I LOVE citys but I manage to get lost in my tiny town so I'm going to be hopeless with directions LOL.

dustypaws, that sucks you never got to experience the full college life, it sounds like you had a great time after you transferred though!

NYCBelle, yeah I'm thinking I'd probably regret it too. Everyone I know are always going on about what a blast they have in Uni!

lamiastella, that was awful! I don't know how ANYONE could be that inconsiderate to someone else. I was in a similar situation to that not long ago (it was only a night though on a trip but still!), it's just plain rude!
 
#8
Amanda, thankyou for your honest opinions. I might come off as having unreasonable expectations but at the same time everybody has different levels of comfort and different ages when their ready to leave home and fend for themselves. I'm willing to learn to cook, clean, etc.. I'm just worried it'll be too overwhelming & I won't be able to cope living away from home.
 
#9
I'm quite dependable on my mum... I stayed home for uni because my mum didn't want me to have a huge amount of debt and a pretty good uni is actually just 30 min walk away would you believe! I think I'm kinda better off local ... although you miss out on the social side a bit.
 
#10
Since I was young, I've always wanted to attend the University I currently attend in downtown Toronto, and that's really close to my house.
I'm a Senior now, but I've lived away from home throughout all four years of my University education. I do think that college years are the best times to learn to be independant, but I feel good knowing that I can pop in to see my family whenever I want to.
Don't be scared about moving out! Chances are, everyone else at your dorm is going to feel the same way you are! I was freaked out at the prospect of moving to a dorm where I had to start fresh and not know a single person. But it was a blast! Living on res was definately a choice that I don't regret.
 
#11
That's another thing.. if I stay home my mum & dad will be paying so I won't have any debt at all. But if I go to Uni because I live in Wales & I'd be studying in England it's something like an extra £3,000 per term & then accomodation & stuff on top of that.. so I suppose that's another factor!
 
#12
i decided to stay at home. i commute almost an hour to uni everyday and im happy with the way things are. although im in my final year now and im at the point where i think if i had known how stressful it was and how much debt id be in i would have thought twice about the uni thing.
i have £13,000 of debt including my student loan and it would have been so much more if id moved away.
 
#13
omgblonde said:
Amanda, thankyou for your honest opinions. I might come off as having unreasonable expectations but at the same time everybody has different levels of comfort and different ages when their ready to leave home and fend for themselves. I'm willing to learn to cook, clean, etc.. I'm just worried it'll be too overwhelming & I won't be able to cope living away from home.
Click to expand...

the way i look at it is that growing up is not always pleasant and can be quite painful, and there's never a perfect time to do it. it WILL be overwhelming, whether you do it now or you do it later. trying to wade into adulthood never seems to work out quite right (my little brother is a great example - he's 20 and living like he's still in high school) and i think the risk is worth it, especially since a lot of people aren't fortunate enough to get to take it. you also shouldn't confuse college life for real adulthood - it's a LOT easier. you're free to take care of yourself and grow as a person without having to worry about kids, spouses, careers, etc.

you'll be overwhelmed and uncomfortable and at times unhappy. you'll never accomplish anything by avoiding those sorts of unpleasantness, though. since you're just doing applications right now, apply to a few close schools and a few that you'd have to move away for and use the time from now until you have to make a choice to figure out exactly what kinds of things you want to accomplish and what you're ready for.

I'm in my last year of college right now, and it hasn't always been a bed of roses. It's been rocky and there have been times that it's been too much and I've been unhappy, but I'm so glad that I moved away for school because I never would have forgiven myself if I hadn't. I've changed so much for the better, and I don't think that would have been the case if I still lived with my parents.
 
#14
Where I'm doing a 2year ND course now is also where I would be doing the 3 yr BA course if I chose to stay at home & my tutor said that there's definately a place on the course for me, even if I decided to go off to university if I really hated it and quit within like a month she'd still definately take me on.. so that's kind of making me feel better about taking the risk because if it all goes wrong atleast there's something to come back to.

I think I'm definately going to visit the Uni in the next few weeks & find out more about the course and the college. Then over the next few months I'll work on doing more stuff for myself/being more independant so it won't be as much of a shocker if I do decide to move!

Thankyou so much for all of your advice girls!! xxx
 
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