Gifts from Hubby Rant!

  1. I want to hear your thoughts on this subject....

    SHORT VERSION- does anyone have problems with SO not getting creative with gifts? Where the gift feels compassionless?

    LONG VERSION...
    I am a very giving person... I have been very blessed and love to buy my friends flowers, my hubby cool gifts- clothing computer crap, buy nice things for my folks, etc. But when it comes to getting creative thoughtful things in return from my Hubby it's just not happening! Note: He used to be very creative with gifts, love notes, etc. But now it seems a contstant frustration for me. Now granted my husband just graduated and does not have a job yet, and says he doesn't feel comfortable spending my money. I have always told him whatever money WE make is OUR money.... but anyway...
    At christmas I gave him lists of ideas, I constantly pointed out ideas, etc. And he did a great job and did use some thought and didn't buy directly from the list.
    But I hate making lists, giving ideas, etc. because that, IMO, takes away from my reason for giving gifts. I do it to show people that I listen to them, I know what they like, and I spend loads of time finding the perfect thing just for them!

    So for my Bday, I didn't drop any hints. It's 2 weeks after Christmas, so he should know what I'm liking at the moment. And I didn't get crap! (He wrote happy birthday on my mirror in my bathroom.) We went to the store a couple days after and I bought a coffee machine that I had been wanting and we called it my Bday gift. Well I buy myself things that I want pretty much whenever I want, within reason of course, but I don't see how this is a gift from him! I would have rather had a homemade card and a spaghettios that he cooked! That would be more like the gifts I give to him! I put so much thought into them, and when I tell him this is what I want and he goes and just gets it, to me it's pointless. Same thing goes for Valentine's day. I have put a lot of thought into this special day, bought him some shares in a stock he likes, I'm renting a cabin in Hot Springs for the upcoming weekend, and mailed him a cute valentines package with goodies in it (so he would have something to open while I'm out of town for the next few days.) Plus a few more little things. But I don't think he has done ANYTHING! I get home thursday night at 6:10 and we leave for Hot Springs on Friday AM. I don't think he has even thought about it because I'm out of town... and I hate to even ask him if he has done anything or does he need ideas, etc. But I did ask and every lame excuse possible came out of his mouth, proving to me that no thought was put into it... Now I don't even want anything...because I feel he is only doing it because I am expecting something!

    Sorry for the rant and details! but let me hear your thoughts!
     
  2. Yes, Mr. Swank hasn't ever been a good gifter, I usually buy most of my gifts.

    But I have been VERY proactive as of late and I've been getting a lot of what I want :biggrin:

    I'm teh same way you are, I get a TON of enjoyment from picking and giving gifts. So it cuts extra deep when the people we love don't make even 1/2 the effort we do :sad:
     
  3. Oh sorry you are feeling a little uncared for at the moment like you are doing all the caring. I think your DH needs to show more thought for you & a little initiative when it come to gifts. Why not sit him down & tell him exactly how you feel? I don't see any other way around this, obviously you are unhappy with situation & you do need to talk it through.
     
  4. :roflmfao:

    Will we see your name change to "Swanky Mama of Four" soon?
     
  5. LOL! NO WAY JOSE!
    The twins were the Grand Finale!:lol:
    Dh was neutered!:p
     
  6. Yep I have spoke with him he just uses the lack of his own money as his excuse. And then he says he can't wait until his first check and/or sign on bonus so he can buy me diamonds! LOL
    But no I have told him and my Mom just says guys aren't as good as we are by nature! Which to a certain extent, I agree, and psychology says so also!
    but it just sucks that I feel when you love someone you want to do everything to make sure they know how much! And when you don't get that same in return it's sad!:crybaby:
     
  7. Lets face it..Most men are freakin CLUELESS at romance..LMAO....Hence the way I shop....heehee...I made up for his ignorance at holidays.....IN A BIG WAY.
     
  8. ^that's how I feel too . . . but sadly, men are wired differently.
    Most of them just have NO clue, it's not a matter of how much they love us,. more of an issue of how selfish and ignorant they can be!!:p
     
  9. SO has been creative..sometimes. Like this: he knows that I like chocolate. So for last christmas he gave me boxes and boxes of chocolates, which added up to a whopping 9.5 pounds of chocolate. Imagine the calories!!

    I have no idea at all what I'll get for valentines day. I only hope it won't be more chocolate. The chocolate I got for christmas went straight to my hips and stayed there!
     
  10. some guys just really need you to spell it out for them

    even though that takes the romance out of it

    hopefully by the second time around he'll get the clue.

    you should've taken him to a couture store or cartier and pick out something next time he tries to pull something like this!
     
  11. OOOH that might just work! I HAVE been wanting one of those Cartier LOVE Bracelets!:graucho:
     
  12. It's just a man thing. I have to lead DH in the right direction 95% of the time. Otherwise, I find myself disappointed. Sometimes, he will surprise me with something good he picked on his own but for the most part he is not great.

    I feel bad for him though because I sometimes wonder if that is my fault though as I am EXTREMELY picky! LOL He got upset when the cake I had for this years' birthday wasn't "up to my standards." I typically have a wedding cake for my b-day. My last one was a three-tier mad hatter cake decorated in a poker theme (we had poker party). This year we didn't have a party (as we are/were moving) and I got a one-layer cake with flowers on it. Boring. So when I saw it I just said it was okay. He was disappointed and I got another cake a couple days later shaped like an LV bag! LOL What a pain though as it was right in the middle of our move!?! So no pictures! Sorry I wanted to take some but I still don't know where the digicam is!
     
  13. ^^^^^Thats hilarious! I want to see pics of some of your cakes!
    I might have a new request for Bdays now!
     
  14. I don't want my husband to buy me gifts for holidays or my birthday (mine is a few weeks after Christmas too). He is so sweet and thoughtful all year, I feel like I don't deserve him already. I buy whatever I want, he buys whatever he wants, and that's the way we like it!
     
  15. Give us his e-mail...we'll take care of it for ya!:graucho: