FUME!!! Dad can't find my birth cert!!!

  1. Ok. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, and he's assured me over the years that "everything is under control."

    Well, I've been going to school then working for the last 19 years and have only had time for local vacations. My passport expired in 1984 and I figured I'd have time to renew it.

    So...I finally get around to planning an Alaskan cruise with DH, and our agent reminded us to have either a passport or original birth certificate to travel with.

    Dad has no idea where it is. This is from a man who has always lectured me on keeping good records, etc.

    I am absolutely furious. I know I should have probably asked him for it long ago, but I never even gave it a second thought.

    Of course, he keeps records of all the houses he's flipped over the years, but can't find my damned birth certificate. That makes me feel like he could care less.

    What makes it more difficult is, dad is an American born in the states, mom is a naturalized citizen and I was born while they were vacationing in Japan, on an airbase 42 years ago that is now...a park.

    Crap. THanks for listening. I'm off to call the state department, I guess. What a pain.
  2. You can get a copy at your local city/county offices, if you still live in the town you were born. I had to get mine a few years ago, really was quite easy and took only about 15 minutes...and I live in a big city.
  3. Such a pain!!! The same thing happened to me on the day I was supposed to go get my passport ... dad had lost it. We could only find the unofficial one that the doctor didn't even sign, lol! But yeah, just go down to your county office and they'll give you a new one for a few bucks. I think I paid $7. Of course, I had to go twice because the computers were down the first time I went. Grr. Hope it all works out!
  4. At first when I read your post I thought you were like, 22 or something, then when you said you were 42 I was surprised.

    I dont think it was your Dad's responsibility to keep your birth certificate, you should have had it YEARS ago. He probably figured you were a big girl now and it got misplaced.

    I requested a certified copy of my daughters birth certificate when she was around 19. She has the original and I have the cert. copy for safe keeping. She keeps it in a safe place and knows the importance of it. (she's 24)

    I also keep a certified copy of mine also, just in case my original gets damaged or lost.

    Does your Dad have a safe deposit box? maybe its in there and he forgot.

    I think "fuming" at your Dad is a bit out of line, it was your responsibility and you shouldnt have waited so long.

    Start the procedure for getting a new one. And dont be so harsh on your Dad.
  5. Aw SKelly! I'm sorry that this happened. Is your dad 100% sure that it is long lost? Or could it be in storage or something?

    I hope everything works out OK!!
  6. i ordered mine from my hometown, and got it in 2 days via fedex. cost like $40

    if you live in your hometown, you can just go to your registrars office..it is all computerized now, and it takes like 5 minutes

    i just lost my daughters (she was only 4) and i needed a new one for her school registration

    it is no big deal, just get on it right away!
  7. Ok Donna,

    First of all, didn't I just admit I probably should have asked him for it already?

    I'm already kicking myself for not doing that and now you're jumping down my throat.

    I have always had positive experiences on this board and was just looking for a place to vent, as many others have, even over things like "Do I buy the blue one or the red one?". Recently, a poster on the Coach board had her favorite purse stolen out of her shopping cart at a store. No one jumped down her throat to call her stupid or say it was her responsibility to watch out for those things. She's already beating herself up.

    I have spent the last 19 years of my life singlehandedly taking care of my mother's battle with cancer, my husband's loss of a kidney and near death as a result, my own 8 miscarriages and my father has never lifted a finger to help. His job, he said, was to keep the family "paperwork" and house in order and I should just trust him with it because he's a man. He is emotionally abusive and it's taken me all this time to weed myself out from under it.

    I'm not expecting that now that you know this, you're going to cut me some slack, but I just thought you'd like to know more of the backstory before you are so hasty to chastise again in the future.
  8. I think Donna was just playing mom here and may have sounded harsh but you should give her a break as well since she or any of us were not given any background. That said, take a deep breath and go to the hall of records. Its relatively painless. I had to do this too and I live in LA - they're pretty organized. Good luck!
  9. I feel your pain. My university "lost" my birth certificate a few years back, so now I only have one copy left and when I had to send that off to have my passport done I was so nervous.

    I was born in California and I live on the other side of the US now, so it's not a simple matter to get another copy!

    But it's important, even though it's a hassle. There's some crazy laws I keep hearing about that are going to require all these stupid forms of ID.

    If I lost all of my IDs, what would they do to me? Kick me out?!?
  10. My future mother in law lost my fh's birth cert. It was a pain the a**. I hope you get a new copy and get your passport renewed before your cruise.

    Have fun on your cruise, I've heard the cruises up in that region are beautiful. You should share some pics with us when you return. :tup::nuts:
  11. Yikes... I would have gotten my passport renewed as soon as it expired. You never know when you might need it for identification, ie lost driver's license, emergency trip, etc.

    I lost my birth certificate during a move and it was super easy to get. I think you can even request a copy online these days. I hope it's not too difficult to get since you were born in Japan. Good luck!

    ETA: Here's the cdc.gov website:
  12. Purly, I wondered that too!

    Thanks all, for your assistance. As our plans were for the "last boat of the summer" they're now changed in light of this new info.

    We'll head to New York or Boston and just chill. Or try to, in all that humidity. :p
  13. Sorry to hear about your stress. I think Donna meant well...

    Along the same lines, IMHO if from the background info, your Dad is all the things you say he is, then I'd probably NOT want to trust him with my important personal papers.

    I would think it should be pretty easy for you to get a certified copy of your birth certificate from either the American authorities on the base abroad or local authorities. That way you don't have to worry about it. Good luck and I am sure you'll have a great time on your vacation.
  14. Since you were born in Japan, do you have a naturalization certificate or since it was an airbase, a american birth certificate?
    My dad was born in a different country and he has been wanting to get another passeport, but he does not have his birth certificate as it is in his birth country, and his american last name isn't on his birth certificate. It's a mess. But in all situations like passeport, etc., he uses his naturalization certificate and gets along fine with it. The bad part is that to get a passeport, he would need to send the originial naturalization certificate to multiple states to go through the process. So having the orginial being sent, it's a big chance to take, so if you have to do something like that, I would ask about alternatives, if that even is your case.
    Good luck! I know it can be a hassle sometimes with this kind of stuff.
  15. Why do you need a passport to go to Alaska? I'm assuming you don't live in the US?
    But yeah, just call the local Vital Statistics office wherever you were born and ask for a certified copy. Most of the time you can do it online.