For those who take life too seriously

  1. enjoy :lol:

    1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

    2. A day without sunshine is like...night.

    3. On the other hand, you have different fingers

    4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

    5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

    6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

    7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

    8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

    9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

    10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

    11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

    12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

    13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

    14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

    15. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

    16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

    17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

    18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

    19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

    20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

    21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

    22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

    23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

    24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

    25. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    26. Life isn't like a box of chocolates.... it's more like a jar of jalapenos.
    What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
  2. Thank you for that allison :smile: .
  3. Support bacteria... ahahahahahaha:roflmfao: love it!!!
  4. OMG! I almost pee'd my pants laughing at some of those! ROFL :roflmfao:

    Some I've heard but some of them are new and hysterical!!!
  5. I love this....especially the, "If you think nobody cares...."
  6. ^ that was my fave too. SOOO funny
  7. Thank you so much for that, brilliant!
  8. This one may be disturbing to some but I found it so funny I was crying

    20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
  9. lmao...those are hilarious! #18 was my favorite...thanks allison!
  10. hehe thanks for sharing :biggrin:
  11. Great post !!! Loved it !
  12. Loved them all! Thanks!
  13. I particularly like #15 and #22. I can't wait to ask my scientist DH what the speed of dark is, LOL!
  14. Thanks Allison you made me laugh! That was funny! I love #13 a lot.
  15. Lol!!!