Feeling very anxious... anyone else experience this? Please help!

  1. Strange, but exactly 3 months ago to the day, my grandfather passed away and it was very traumatic for me. I was very close to him. My grandmother called my house at 2am and I had to rush over there, and it was really one of the worst nights of my life.

    Now, I just feel very anxious. Every night when I go to sleep, I just pray that something like that won't happen again, and every morning when I wake up and there was no "phone call," I am thankful. I just haven't gotten over it, and I dread it happening again. I really don't know what to do. I am fine during the day, and it doesn't phase me as much, but at night it's a little bit hard. Did anyone else ever experience anything similar? I appreciate any input, thank you.
     
  2. I'm not sure if it's exactly the same thing, but the Health subforum has some threads on anxiety. They may be helpful to you.

    Three months isn't all that long after losing a loved one, so you're still grieving. Have you thought about a support group through Hospice or talking to a counselor just to clear things up for yourself?

    Finally, I'm so sorry about the loss of your grandfather.
     
  3. Thank you for your reply, boxermom. I searched those threads and they were mostly about physical side affects along the lines of panic attacks. I think mine is more that I am just scared. I was wondering if anyone else felt something similar before after losing a loved one, etc, and how long they may have felt like that. You're right, three months isn't that long so I know it takes time. I am just reluctant to go to a support group right now. I guess I am just stubborn :smile:
     
  4. I think at night when one is at rest their body is more prone to feeling anxiety. You are kind of reliving the events in the fear of what if the phone rings. It is a normal reaction and it will take time to get over the feeling. It happened to me when my mother died. It took at least a year for me to feel peace at night and I still get a feeling of dread every now and then and can't sleep. Know that this is just a normal way your body is reacting to stress. You can't notice it in the day because you are busy. It will get better and you will feel less anxious but there is nothing wrong with you and maybe knowing this will help.
    HUGS.
     
  5. First of all, huge hugs. I'm so sorry for your loss. But as BMom pointed out it wasn't too long ago that you lost him. Its like post traumatic stress, especially if you were there when it happened. It should gradually pass but do what eases your mind till then. Use a nightlight. Know that every phone ring is not bad news. The only time I went through something like this was the Northridge earthquake (as far as having anxiety and not being able to sleep). Every rumble, every truck that drove by would send me through the roof. For a month, DH and I slept in our clothes, with the full light on in our bedroom. We went through a bottle of wine every night just to get drowzy enough to sleep. We were just shell-shocked. But little by little, we slowly got back into the swing of life - we first slept w/o our shoes, then our pants, peeling off clothing little by little every night. Then we tackled the lights. We eliminated the lights till we were down to a nightlight, then nothing. Then cut down on the wine till we didn't need it at all. Its all about baby steps.
    If the phone is what is freaking you out, disconnect your main house phone and let friends and family know to only call you at night on your cell phone for emergencies only and keep your cell in your room. That way, you will know that if the cell goes off at night, you need to answer. But the house phone is prone to wrong numbers, telemarketers and non-emergency chit chat late at night. Knowing that main phone is not going to ring at all may help you at least get some peaceful rest. I'll keep you in my prayers.

    ps hot baths at night with candles is a great way to wind down. put some epsom salt in your bath too - great for relaxing muscle tension.
     
  6. I have yet to lose anyone close to me. But sometimes the thought of it keeps me up at night. Esp when someone is sick. I did with my grandfather when he was having heart and kidney issues. Now I cant stop worrying about my mom. She has something wrong with her lung and they arent sure what it is yet. What you are going through sounds totally normal though.

    My great grandparents are still alive, so I have yet to experience death at all. I know one day it will happen, and the thought scares the %$#@ out of me!!
     
  7. Gilliana, bagsnshoo, and omgsweet, thank you so much!!!!! Your words and suggestions mean a lot to me. It's really an awful feeling. Part of me knows that it is just a normal reaction to that trauma, but at the same time I still freak out a bit, and you're right that it's worse at night because I am busier during the day.

    I am very sorry about your experiences, although it helps me to know that it is not just me that reacted like that. Thank you! It really made me feel better to read your comments. I am really hoping that over time, it will get better.

    omgsweet, I hope your mother will be okay, and grandfather, too!
     
  8. kitten, I experienced a LOT of anxiety after my beloved grandmother passed. A doctor diagnosed me with post tramatic stress syndrome and prescribed some medicine for me. Mine symptoms were getting very bad.

    I think since you just recently experienced this loss (my condolences), time will heal you. You are still greiving which is a very normal thing to go through.
     
  9. I've experienced this. Ihave a large, tight-knit extended family, and for like 5 years straight there was a death of someone close to me. My cousins and other relatives who don't live in our hometown have asked our family members not to call late at night with the news, to wait until the morning to tell us, because we can't do anything and can't get there right away anyway.

    But that feeling will pass. It's normal and as others have said, your still grieving. If it goes by more than 6 months and affects your sleep or other parts of your life, you should get checked. But as others have said, a frief support group or maybe even a grief counselor can help you so that you don't feel alone or dread the call in the middle of the night. I think you are really afraid of losing someone else close to on top of grieving for your grandfather, but again, it's normal.

    Sorry for your loss and take good care of yourself. I hope you have a good day.:heart:
     
  10. I am so sorry for your loss. I've heard that night time is often one of the worst times when going through the grieving process. Time does make it better (I know that's probably not very comforting), but if you don't see improvement in the next couple months, I would consider a grief counselor or talking to your doctor. My condolences for your loss :heart:
     
  11. I think bagnshoo couldn't have said it better. I just wanted to give you (((big hugs))). Also being tired/sleepy causes people to think and feel differently. Many people at this time feel depressed for no reason and even worse if there is a reason because they naturally assume the "reason" is why they feel so bad. You have to remember it's because you're tired and you need sleep. It is very important to find a way to relax and get that good nights sleep.
     
  12. Kitten, everyone has made some really good points about how anxiousness does get worse at night. I just wanted to add that I went through somg a little bit similar. I live a 24 hour plane ride from my family, and have learnt to turn my phone on silent during the night to avoid late night texts and phonecalls waking me. One night my mum was rushed to hospital with chest pains, and I woke in the morning to a gazillion missed calls and frantic messages from my siblings and dad. Thankfully, she turned out to be fine, but for several months after that I didn't sleep very well and any little sound would wake me...I think I was sleeping permanently with one ear open just in case I missed another call like that. I also refused to turn my phone on silent during the night, so spent a number of months being woken by text messages and phonecalls from friends in other countries on different time zones. I swear that every time my phone made a sound anytime after 10pm or so my heartrate would instantly double. Luckily, time was the healer for me, the anxiety subsided and I started sleeping well again and eventually took to turning the ringer on my phone down again. I still do get those moments of worry occasionally at night, but I have much greater control over my reaction now rather than getting really worked up.

    Given it's only been 3 months since you lost your grandfather (for which I am so sorry...), I think you are definitely still grieving. Do you have someone close to that you can share your worries with? Or perhaps a counsellor might be a good option if that's something you would consider?

    Anyway, I've been going on forever, but I just wanted to let you know there has been someone in a similar sort of position with a similar reaction and I think it's really very normal. I'm sending big hugs, and I hope you'll soon be able to look back on your time you had with your grandfather with all fond memories :flowers:
     
  13. I'm sorry, I don't have any advice but I wanted you to know my deepest sympathies are with you and your family. Hugs.
     
  14. You are all so kind! It makes me feel 100 times better! Thank you, everyone. I guess it is still kind of soon, and if it keeps on for much longer, maybe I will consider talking to someone about it.

    Alwaysinvogue, I do the same thing when I hear a noise at night! As soon as I hear it, I am ready to spring into action, immediately alert. Luckily I don't often get text messages in the middle of the night. I hate to have to turn off my cell phone.