Everything I know in life, I learned from Monty Python

  1. How many of these do YOU know?
    Romans go home" in latin is "'Romani Ite Domum" NOT "Romanes Eunt Domus" (third person plural, present indicative.)
    Ich bin ein holzfäller
    Last year the government spent less on Silly Walks than it did on National Defence.
    The Larch.
    Wome is your fwend
    There is no rule six.

    Norwegian Blues stun easily
    Charles Dikkens is a well-known Dutch author.
    Some rabbits have a vicious streak a mile wide.
    Never be rude to an Arab.
    You can't cut down the tallest tree in the forest with a herring – it just can't be done (honest).
    Pantomime horses make the best secret agents

    Salmon mousse is bad for your health
    Certain theories regarding the shape of the earth are disastrously wrong.
    The most dangerous of animals is a clever sheep
    Never underestimate the power of a bicycle repairman
    If you become King, remember to brush up on your knowledge of swallows and gravity
    Moose bites can be nasty.

    You can't say (beep) on the radio
    If you're name is Carol, don't go into show business with a group of British crazies
    There is no such thing as a fish licence.
    Lumberjacks are okay
    Crucifixion's a doddle
    When you need to identify a bishop, look for the tattoo on the back of its neck.

    A witch will weigh the same as a duck because they both float and therefore are both made of wood.
    Sheep were not meant to fly
    The Larch.
    Life's a piece of **** when you look at it
    If you can't think of a name for your pet, call it Eric
    Coventry City has never won the English Football Cup

    Never think twice about waking up the neighbour if you're an upper class twit
    Philosophers like to drink
    Always keep your cat confused
    The Keeper of the Bridge of Death will ask you five questions (three questions)…
    Don't even ask about the Camembert; you know the cat's eaten it
    Nnnnnnnnooooooooooooo Pooftahs.

    Not everyone likes SPAM
    Nine out of ten British housewives can't tell Whizzo butter from a dead crab
    Never trust strangers in suits of armour carrying chickens
    Albatrosses are bleedin' sea bird flavour.
    Keep your eye out for 16-ton weights falling out of nowhere
    Don't mention the dirty fork - it will all end in tears.

    Be careful not to get squished by huge feet from the sky
    It's important to learn to defend yourself from an attack with a piece of fruit.
    The Larch.
    When crossing the street, don't trust Keep Left signs
    It is the inalienable right of any man to have the right to have children
    My hovercraft is full of eels.

    There is nothing quite as wonderful as money
    Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
    Proust in his first book wrote about, wrote about (he wrote about) etc.
    Blancmanges are better tennis players than Scotsmen.
    It's important to know how not to be seen
    The Larch.

    European swallows don't migrate
    Coconuts don’t migrate.
    Tinny words are not as nice as woody ones
    Never trust a show to end when the end credits start rolling
    The Larch.
    The earth is banana-shaped

    ... and most of all,

    Always look on the bright side of life.
  2. How many of these apply to you?

    You watch Monty Python at least once a month

    You don’t need a TV and VCR/DVD to watch Monty Python

    You know at least 10 Monty Python website addresses by heart

    You know all the forms in which Monty Python has been released

    You quote Monty Python at odd moments

    You draw comparisons to MP in casual conversation.

    You spend £10 for a magazine with an article containing stuff about MP that you knew anyway.

    You know the names of all major cast members (not just the 6 members of the Python team) and what they're doing now.

    You have a list of major bloopers and inside jokes in your head

    You can’t walk past a can of Spam without smiling OR singing “Spam, lovely Spam”, OR both

    You think John Phillip Sousa is the greatest composer who ever lived.

    You wonder why the Liberty Bell never makes it into any of those "Classical Collections".

    Your internet handle or signature refers to Monty Python.
    (It used to! My former Myspace name was Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.)

    Your friends regularly quiz you on Monty Python factoids

    You know all the words to EVERY Python song there is.

    For the sake of completeness you also know the words to every other song written by Eric Idle AND Neil Innes

    You are reading this list for ideas.

    You find yourself discussing characters from the series and movies as if they were actually old friends of yours.

    You have a pet named after a Python characters.

    You are going to name your first child after a Python characters.

    A Monty Python *.wav file plays on your computer whenever you do a windows application.

    When you get in trouble your parents know that the only effective method of punishment is to take away your privilege to watch Monty Python.

    You dream about Monty Python, both at night and during the day

    When you read Monty Python scripts, you can see it happening in your head.

    You can't quote a line from Monty Python without acting like the person who actually said it.

    You refer to your mother/ sister/ ex-girlfriend/ mother-in-law as "”Mr Creosote."

    A friend has threatened to hide your Python stuff to stop you talking about it.

    5 things on this list apply to you.

    You've ever made a telephone answering machine message pertaining to Monty Python.
    (No, but my cell phone ring is the Liberty Bell March . . . the Monty Python theme song.)

    You’ve made your own Monty Python web site.

    You provoke other chatters on the internet into trivia battles

    You've ever called somebody "a whining hypocritical toady", an “empty headed malodorous pervert” or any other John Cleese insult

    You can name more than 10 types of cheese.
    You think this list has some good ideas for fun things to do

    You re-read all of your Monty Python books in order to compile your own encyclopaedia or trivia book.

    You use the above mentioned trivia book in chat rooms.

    You've taken up permanent residence in a Monty Python chat room.

    Your New Year's resolution is to do at least half of the things on this list.

    You printed this list to share with your friends (or e-mailed it to them) so they can do the things on it as well.

    You own the Monty Python series and films in every format it has been released in.

    Someone asks you what you do for a living and you have the urge to say “I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay…”
    (No, but I did sing, "Dad's a lumberjack, and he's okay" when he got a red plaid flannel shirt for Christmas.)

    You think there should be a Ministry of Silly Walks.

    You've ever called anyone "a very naughty boy" in a screechy voice a la Terry Jones.

    You develop a pathological fear of the word "it"

    You want to visit Sweden to see its lovely fjords (and the majestic mooses).

    You know the correct latin for "Romans Go Home" in its correct tense.

    You've ever practiced not being seen.

    A friend/ spouse/ partner reads this list, points at you and laughs at just how many are true.

  3. :true: :roflmfao:
  4. I looove Monty Python...My husband and I saw Spamalot on Broadway a year ago and I was rolling and saying a lot of the lines out loud.
  5. Oh, me too! I was laughing so hard I was crying during the Brave Sir Robin part!

    I was laughing because I knew the words. Then I was laughing because of David Hyde Pierce's reaction to the words. THEN I was laughing at the audience's reaction!
  6. Monty Python actually taught me European humor. I now enjoy watching BBC shows and others, because I now can understand what the hell they are talking about.
  7. :roflmfao:

    and ...

    Every sperm is sacred ...
    One thin mint ...
    This parrot is dead! ...
    I fart in your general direction ...

    :roflmfao: :roflmfao: :roflmfao: :roflmfao: :roflmfao: :roflmfao: :roflmfao:

    I laugh myself silly just thinking of the stuff ... easily entertained, I guess!
  8. I remember just after I bought The Meaning Of Life on DVD, I was at Starbucks and I was counting my drawer, about to start my shift. I remember singing Every Sperm Is Sacred while I was doing it!
  9. Oh yeah, the list didn't mention that sheep's bladders are known to prevent earthquakes.

    And that you don't vote for kings.

    And they NEVER said, "Blessed are the big noses."
  10. AND that we're all individuals.
  11. I LOVE Monty Python!

    "sex, sex, sex, that's all you ever think about! morning, noon, and night! is it too big, is it too small, will the girls like this, will the girls like that..."

    "did he rape you, mum?"
    "well...at first"

    "what is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
    "what do you mean--african or european?"
    "eh? I don't know that----aaaaahhhhh!!"

    "your father was a hamster, and your mother smelt of elderberries!...now go away before I taunt you a second time!"
  12. SNORT!! :lol:
  13. hahaha i just LOVE them!!!!
    and reading this thread makes me want to go have a python-fest tonight!!!
  14. This is right up BF's alley. I'm just starting to get into this. Is it too late to make me a fan? LOL!
  15. Never too late! Go out and rent Monty Python and the Holy Grail tonight! :lol: :upsidedown: :lol: