Eloping...help?

  1. Good Morning/Evenings everyone,

    So after months of researching and thinking carefully, me and my boyfriend have decided to become legally married. We are going to have a court marriage in NJ sometime soon for financial reasons. (Please don't think it's silly but..) For financial purposes, I cannot claim myself dependent when it comes to financial aid and it is just too expensive for me to even afford and save at the same time. Same goes for him. We know in the long run we will be having an elusive wedding but meanwhile just want this for financial purposes. We also do love each other, of course :smile:

    Now I just have a few questions for any who have done this before.

    Do you lose your health insurance from your parents once married?

    Who should we ask to be our witnesses? (only 2 people we want to know)

    Any other things I would need to know as far as our legal binding?

    For anyone who has eloped before, did anyone get mad after telling them years later?

    Also, anyone knows how long it takes from when you apply for your marriage license to be approved?

    Thanks everyone in advance.
     
  2. >Do you lose your health insurance from your parents once married?

    I have Anthem, and I can claim as dependents my unmarried children under 21. So if my child were to get married, yes they would lose health insurance under my plan.

    Who should we ask to be our witnesses? (only 2 people we want to know)

    >Do you need to keep things confidential for some reason? 2 friends?

    Any other things I would need to know as far as our legal binding?

    > I don't know. Do you need to do blood tests?

    For anyone who has eloped before, did anyone get mad after telling them years later?

    >I've had several friends who eloped. Most parents were thoroughly annoyed at first, but forgave them sooner or later.

    Friends were miffed, but again as all friends were not informed and not some of them, most couples were forgiven. That way it was more convenient that inviting some friends to a wedding and not inviting others and having friendships rupture for that reason.

    >Also, anyone knows how long it takes from when you apply for your marriage license to be approved?

    I don't know the answer to that one.
     
  3. How long it takes depends on NJ's laws. You could call the city hall where you're planning to be married and ask about the length of the procedure.

    My parents had me on their insurance until I was 23, and only under the insurance company's condition that I remain unmarried.
     
  4. I don't have any advice or words of wisdom...But,
    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
     
  5. Congratulations......

    Your parents are definitely people you would want to know about your marriage, they will no longer be able to claim you on their taxes (if they still do), you might or might not lose your health insurance (depending on the policy), and chances are they will get mad when you tell them...
     
  6. you willl lose your health insurance from your parents

    Marriage licenses depends on your state/county. Ours took 4 days, but we could have had it done in two days if we paid extra.

    I'd ask your parents to be witnesses, they'd be the most upset if you don't tell them.
     
  7. Don't know for certain, but I heard you can get a license in a day?

    Go the state government site of wherever you plan on doing your eloping & do a search... I did once a few years back w/an ex b/c we were always joking we'd elope because neither one of us wanted to plan a wedding.


    My brother had a civil ceremony at a state/county park several years back and when it was done, me & a friend wandered around...and then were asked to be witnesses for a totally random couple visiting from Oahu who we'd never met before. She & I signed documents & took pictures for the happy couple...they were eloping, too. It was weird, but sweet.

    If you're going to change your name, make sure you get your IDs & credit cards changed too!
     
  8. Thanks for all your help everyone. at first I was somewhat expecting like "don't do it, its a big mistake" but im glad everyones response was excellent! thanks once again! :smile:

    I know my bf wants to chose his mom (she's sick and that's all I want to mention and he wants her to be a part of it just in case)

    but i'd chose a friend bc i want it really private and just shock em in like 2yrs? lol but maybe my sister and they'll prob tell someone else of course. its a hell of a secret.

    I wouldnt change my name till a church ceremony, but legal stuff will need to be changed.

    Also, to celebrate, perhaps a wedding night stay at a hotel at least and tattoo wedding bands. mine will be really simple white band tattoo with a pink outline heart on the bottom of my finger -im not big on tattoo's but think its a nice idea and a tattoo i won't regret :smile:
     
  9. Congratulations, it sounds like you two are excited:smile:

    As for keeping it secret...like angel81chick mentioned...it might have tax ramifications for your parents and it is probably better for them to know, instead of being shocked... by say... an IRA audit :push: if you're a student and they're claiming you as a dependent.
     
  10. hehe. thanks! i already claimed myself as a dependent this year and I am a student. i'm not that close as most families are with their parents so that can explain alot.