does anyone have a friend or family member with anorexia?

  1. my friend is deep in anorexia. i've been dealing with it but it's harder than i could ever imagine. long story short i had agreed to help her with her business. she was going to get treatment while i ran her business. then she decided she wanted to still run it but have me there to help her- in case she wasn't well enough to do it. i spoke with her 2 weeks ago and decided that i couldn't because doing that would be enabling her and she wouldn't get better.

    well today i got totally blindsided and a VERY close family member, a mutal friend and she basically called me and browbeat me in to helping her. i was told she would lose her business, she couldn't afford therapy and she would have no will to live if i didn't do this for her, among other things. i was told every other friend agreed to help but couldn't and i was the only one who could help but wouldn't. i am heartbroken. it is very hard for me to put my foot down and i NEVER go with my gut feeling and my gut told me not to do this and i was strong in my conviction that i wouldn't. and now i have to. i feel like i'm being told that if i don't she will die. she has edema and is in bad shape- though her friend and family member told me she is getting better. i finally agreed because i couldn't take her crying and the pressure.

    all of this while i was at work with appointments to see. then i came home to my mom telling me i was an idiot to do this.

    i don't really need solutions but would love to know that other people have been through this. i just feel at a loss. i spoke to someone in NEDA the other day and have talked to some friends and family about it. i just don't know that doing this is helping. and i feel like i can't even talk to her because everything i say is met with excuses and bargains etc.
     
  2. sending u a PM right now...
     
  3. sent you a pm too.
     
  4. thank you both so much. i really appreciate it.
     
  5. i hate that you've been put in this position...but things will work out. :heart:
     
  6. I'm sorry you are going through this. :sad: I think it's true that in certain situations a friends generosity can enable someone wth anorexia. At the same time, you are her friend and should be there for her. But anoretics can be very manipulative, and not only like the attention, but also enjoy the world revolving around them. We all know it is often about much more than the food and weight alone. I don't really have a good answer for this, but I can certainly understand where you're coming from. You really just have to do what's in your heart and what you feel is right, because I'm sure you know your limits and what you're willing to put up with from her.
     
  7. I'm really sorry that you are in this position. I cant believe that you have been bullied into doing this by people using emotional blackmail. I really hope that you manage to resolve this. xx
     
  8. thank you chloe. it's a very difficult situation and not one i wish on anyone.
     
  9. like everyone said, i am so sorry you have to go through this. we are all here to support you and if you ever need anything just let us know.

    you are more than a good friend to put up with that.
     
  10. Let us know how it works out.
     
  11. thanks guys. i will.
     
  12. i used to have alot of problems with my eating both under and overeating, Food Addicts In Recovery Anonymous: Home is a good recovery program for both overweight and underweight people. but first the person has to want help, and she may need inpatient hospitalization. i am so sorry that you are going through this.