Do you worry that your expensive handbags make you look snobby?

  1. Like most of us here, I LOVE handbags. Compared to many TPFers I don't spend as much $ on a handbag, but compared to my friends it is very expensive for them. So here is my situation- I have these 2 married couple friends who are neighbors. They are more low key when it comes to clothes, but they make decent $ and spend a lot on vacations. I don't usually spend that much $ on anything else except handbags and my condo, and especially around them I have never mentioned anything about shopping or how much this costs, etc because I realize that they are more simple. So last weekend they come over and my friend shows me her purse that was a really cute design. I said how much I liked it and showed her a purse with a similar design that I had. Her husband goes in a half joke way " yeah but you know her purse is like $1000" . I was pretty surprised because I never realized that they would look at my handbags and think a certain way . And by the way, that bag was not $1000, it was $225 but of course I wasn't going to say that because I would have sounded like "no that was ONLY $225"

    Then they were talking about how they all wanted to move to a new subdivision but would miss each other (The 2 couples) . I said as a joke "We should move to and we can all be neighbors". Then my friend's husband goes in another half joking way " Yeah you would have the biggest house on the block and would look down at our houses when you come to visit" and was laughing. I was like "what?" and obviously looked bothered and his wife tried to shut him up by saying "No she wouldn't"

    So this has been kind of bothering me because I don't think that I am snobby but maybe other people judge me that way? Is it just because I like nice handbags? What are your experiences if you have anything similar happen to you?

    Thanks for listening- I would feel dumb talking to my other friends about this because they all think that I have expensive taste in bags too!
     
  2. it just depends on what your priorities are - for your neighbors it is vacations. i mean life isnt fair. there are some people who have everything and a lot of people who have nothing. yes, sometimes i do feel like a "snob" carrying around 4 digit handbags but hey i earned my money and i can spend it however i want.
     
  3. Hm that's very rude of your neighbor's husband. I hate when people are judgemental like that. Sorry that happened to you =( I get very uncomfortable when people around me are talking about how much I spent on this-and-that and I usually dont engage in the conversation

    Of course we come off as snobby to some people but the people whose opinions really matter know that is not the purse/accessories that define who we are as a person. I mean whats the difference between carrying a designer handbag and driving a luxury car? I agree with Ally, it depends on people's priorities.

    Oh and youre not snobby! I see the definition of snobby as the way a person acts, not what one chooses to spend their money on.
     
  4. Sounds like her husband is insecure and threatened by you buying what you want for yourself. Maybe you should say something to him - its good that your friend stood up for you though, he sounds like the one with the problem, not you.

    I've had people say things, but whatever. I'd rather look like snob and have what I love then please others, because if you try to please others it never works, someone always says something.
     
  5. ^great advice, Lee Miller!!
     
  6. I have had things like that happen, and I find it very irritating. :cursing: On the one hand I wish I could think of a snappy putdown, but then it's probably better to be tactful. Otherwise they'll think you're a snob and a *****! It's totally unfair, because, my frenemy, like yours, spends thousands on vacations, while we haven't gone on a real one in years. We finally booked a mini-break in Las Vegas, and she's like - "Why would you want to go to Las Vegas? what's in Las Vegas? You should go to Mexico!". :wtf: I could have :noggin: her. DH told me later he was thinking "Well, we don't want dysentery!"
     
  7. Personally, I don't care a whole lot what most people think. There are only like, 3 people who'se opinions meaning anything to me. But I know what you're saying, no-one likes to feel judged.

    It's true that everyone has different priorities. Just because your friends chose to spend major dough on fancy vacations instead of a bag doesn't make them any different than you. So there's no way you should feel snobby. We all have our vices, and by the looks of tPF, there are MANY MANY MANY of us who like fancy bags. And don't forget, class is not defined by money alone.

    Try not to let your friend's husband's comments bother you, and it is good that she stuck up for you. What do *most* men know about bags, anyway?

    BTW, I myself am an equal-opportunity bag lover- I love all my bags the same - no matter how much they cost!:heart:
     
  8. I couldn't agree more :tup: English is not my first language and mello_yello_jen has put it perfectly :yes:. Your neighbor's friend is insecure a** hole (pardon my french). And I DON'T like his sneaky snake way of putting his bites between the lines. Very insincere person he is. You are not a snob, you are good, I can feel it :smile:. Oh, and never move to the same neighborhood with that couple! They have no class, no style, no good.
    Sorry if I was too straight, but I have 0 tolerance for people like your neighbors.
    Be cool :heart: and be yourself.
     
  9. what a rude neighbor. i would just stare him down. it sounds like his wife was pretty embarrassed.. i wouldn't worry too much about what they think!
     
  10. Woah, sounds like this guy's a little insecure because he can't buy his wife "$1000" purses. Whatever, it's his problem, try not to let it get to you.
     
  11. I've had that happen but I spend my money on my hobbies and they spend their money on their hobbies...Just cause mine are superficial, that is my problem not their business...
     
  12. You're not a snob, your neighbor is rude. I see no reason why he says those kind of things without knowing intent to cause harm to you. Try to not associate with those people if at all possible. I feel your uneasiness on having nice bags and I've gotten MANY comments, but I realize they are rooted in judgments that are misplaced. You're a great gal with good taste! Don't worry about what others think if they are not beneficial to you.
     
  13. Honestly, I buy for ME and really don't give a damn what others think. I've earned the right to buy and spend the way I want.

    Some people will judge you no matter what you do. After all, people are just people. Much of the hostility stems from jealousy.
     
  14. Your neighbor's husband sounds very rude! I would have felt very uncomfortable. Different people spend money on different things... for some people it is their home, for some its purses, or vacations, sports cars. Its very hard to have it all! So we find something we enjoy and that is what we spend our time pursuing.

    I would like to think that your friend isn't 'in' on his feelings and defends you. That would be so horrible if your neighbors had some inside joke about you. That would make them very shallow and two faced. Have you asked your friend what his comments were about?
     
  15. I'm sorry that man made such a silly comment. You can't worry about what other people think. It's your money and you spend it as you wish. You don't have to explain that to anyone.

    Most of the time, people don't even know I'm carrying a high end designer bag. Average folks around here don't know about Balenciaga or Hayden Hartnett or other really great brands that don't have logos splashed across it. So luckily I don't have to worry about people making snide remarks about my handbags. But I totally feel what you're saying.