Do you have friends like these?

  1. WARNING :excl:: This is an agonizingly long post, and I could be posting this only because I've been in the world's WORST mood for the last three hours :mad:.

    I woke up just before noon today, and just as I was getting out of bed one of my girlfriends called. She's one of my closest Malaysian friends in Buffalo, and in fact we transferred here together from the same college back home. She said she'd just taken her car to the garage to get fixed, but she didn't know how long it would take for the mechanics to diagnose and fix it, so she asked if I could pick her up from the garage and we could go for lunch. She said she'd wait for me to get ready and all.

    After I hung up I realized that I hadn't seen her in nearly a month :wtf:. And she called to ask a favor from me when she hadn't called me in nearly a month:hysteric:.

    And then I realized that I have the worst friends anyone could ever hope not to have. In my second semester at UB, a group of Malaysians transferred here from the same college back home, so they've been friends for a long time. After they started hanging out with me and my own group of friends, it seemed like all they ever did was ask me for favors. Everytime they called, I knew it was to ask for something. After I got my car in November 2004, they were always asking me if I could give them a ride here, there and everywhere else. And they would always ask when I was going shopping next because they wanted to come along too, but when we got to the mall they'd go their own ways and I'd end up shopping alone (not that I minded, but it was clear they just needed the ride :mad:).

    Then in December 2005, two more people from their college back home transferred here. When one of them got their car, the calls for help suddenly stopped. I was kind of glad that they weren't asking for favors anymore, because I knew they were now depending on their other friend-with-the-car. But what stung is that they just stopped calling altogether, even to just hang out. I haven't seen any of them all summer, except for my girlfriend who called for a ride earlier today. So it seems as though all I'm good for is giving them rides and helping them with whatever they need.

    At the end of the Spring semester, my acappella group gave our end-of-semester concert. We had performed at our school's Malaysian Night to promote our concert, and after our performance all my Malaysian friends promised they'd come to our concert, but they never did. The only Malaysians who showed up were my boyfriend and his five roommates :mad:. And I found out later that my so-called friends, who'd always never shied away from asking me for car rides, had been out shopping that evening, and had come back too late for my concert.

    I hate that I always agreed to help them out and drive them everywhere because I felt sorry for them that they needed help, and I was afraid of offending them by refusing. Clearly I'm a bloody pushover.

    Do any of you have friends like these? The friends whom you give life and limb to help, but would never lift a damn finger to help you?
     
  2. I've got one friend who comes out of nowhere to ask me to do something. I'm like her last resort friend. I wrote about her on my blog.
     
  3. Gurrrrl, you need to just ex them out of your life. I had a 'friend' like that... but way back in the day.. She always befriended me when she wanted something and then before you know it, she hated me because of whatever else was going on. I left all the memories behind though when i went to college.

    It's soo annoying to see that people are like that, in college too. Yea, get rid of all those bad seeds....
     
  4. Arrgh! I have a former GF who once left me a message on my answering machine, asking if I could drive up to her house a few times while she was away to feed her cat! And we had not spoken once in over a year! :rant: :censor: No effin' way.
     
  5. Argh ... I have "friends" like those too. Problem is, I can never say no to them cuz they'll guilt trip me otherwise. i'm sorry to hear about this "friend" of yours. If you can ex them out of your life, do it ASAP. Trust me, he longer this goes on, the more it's going to sting. :push:
     
  6. When I was younger, my mom would pick me up from school. One day it was raining, and my friend always walked home. My mom offered to drive her home b/c of the weather. So a few time after that, we would drive my friend home. Then after a while, we wouldn't really talk anymore, and she would walk right past me w/o saying anything and jump right into our car. We pretty much stopped giving her rides. I am a big pushover. Sorry about your friends, I would ex them out of your lives, too, because they seem as if they are just using you.
     
  7. I don't have those kinds of friends anymore. Don't bother with people like that. Screen your calls etc. The less you see them the better.
     
  8. LOL.. I have a friend who hadn't spokent to me since Christmas... Finally, April rolls around and she had her other friend call me to ask if I could bail her out of jail. :wtf: :wtf: :wtf:

    I think we're in the same boat, Yeux.
     
  9. You know what those girls were never your "friends" they are "users". I would not give them the time of day. Move on and don't look back!
     
  10. I think everyone has one or two friend like that .......you just have to learn to say no .....and u are better off with them not calling
     
  11. I HATE asking people for help/favors and everyone who knows me knows that. So if I ask for help/favor, they know that I am really out of options and they help me out. My relationship with my friends is more like we can not talk for months but when we reconnect, it's like where we left off. I don't ask for help/favors a lot though.....only once in a blue moon.
     
  12. I have a friend like that who I recently cut out of my life. During the entire length of our eight year friendship, I felt like a soda machine that kept dispensing drinks without ever being paid. She has a well-known reputation as a mooch and has certainly sponged off me without doing anything in return, so I understand the pushover part. It got to be especially bad after I moved to NYC in 2002 and she kept coming to visit. After she publicly humiliated me in Tiffany back in April, I'd had it.

    So even though you feel like a pushover, don't lose that generous side of yourself or squash it in any way. It's what makes you human. At least you know the difference between who is there for you and who isn't well enough to know who deserves your kindness and goodness. Think of it as good karma for having done those favors, if nothing else.

    And tell anyone else who tries to take advantage of you in the future to go ahead and stuff it!
     
  13. UGH* I despise selfish people like that! Try your best to be assertive in the future to avoid any further annoyances. They are not worth your energy!
     
  14. that's exactly how i am too :yes:. i don't like to ask for help because i'm afraid of being a burden to them. and yeah, i can be out of touch with a really old/good friend for months but when we start talking again, it's like we never stopped at all.
     
  15. If they call you just for the ride itself everytime (you will know cause you guys go to the mall and you're all alone after the ride), that's completely just using you. I would feel very used too. I get left out on lots of outings cause I don't drive and I'm not the kind of person who would pipe up "I would if I can get a ride" so I don't say anything unless someone invites me instead. Thing is if you think you're being used, chances are you are being used. Like what other ladies have said, you can save yourself the stress and aggravation and cut them off. It's sad though cause you think about what you put into the friendship but you'll be better off in the long run without having them pull you down. :yes: