Do our bags "embarass" us?

CDB3

CDB3

Member
Jun 13, 2011
302
0
#1
Originally Posted by donnaoh:
I find it kind of strange that those who are critical of us with the "another new bag" comment or 'how much money have you spent on bags?' do not find it a 'bad' thing that they spend loads of their cash on their splurges or habits like sports tickets, eating out, clothes, shoes, cigarettes, food, jewellery, travel etc. Everyone has their own splurges, mine or errr ours happens to be a closet full of bags! Just my opinion.

This comment above is from an old thread, which has a slightly different spin to it, but it is pertinent to what I want to post here. I wanted to revive this question of why we sometimes feel "embarrassed" about carrying new bags around people we know or see frequently. I have not personally experienced family or friends questioning me about my bags, yet it's just a self-conscious feeling I have like they're looking and wondering. It's frustrating because when I get a new bag I want to use and enjoy it. I am not out to flaunt or show off, just to enjoy for myself. Sometimes if I get a new bag I'll only use it when I know I'll be around "strangers" and then I might switch to an older bag when I'll be around people I know. If I do carry a new bag around friends I might tuck it under my arm so as to be more inconspicuous. Plain bags are easier to "hide" but decorated or siggy bags not so much. I know it's silly. I think donnaoh really hit the nail on the head with the comment above. It seems like it's OK to have a closet full of clothes or shoes, some of which may fall in the same price range as a bag, yet bags seem to get a more judgemental or questionable reaction. People collect and are into all kinds of things. I happen to like designer bags (esp. Coach!). This is just my perception. Like I said, no one has ever said anything to me but I can tell when they're looking. Does anyone feel similarly?
 
#2
No one has every given me crap about my bag. they make fun of my habit but never ever say bad things about the money I spend. I have never been embarrassed about my bag I carry them with pride and honor. I love showing them off. If I ever got to the point that I felt this way I would stop carrying them. I understand what you are saying but I love my bags and wear them with pride.
 
#3
When my obsession first began I did get a lot of comments from my family and friends. They would say "Oh, I would never spend $400 on a purse!". No, but you spent $400 playing golf and eating out last month! At first I found myself apologizing for loving Coach and for spending so much on them. I always justified myself to them by saying "Well, I've never been into shoes, I don't buy cigarettes and this is my splurge." It makes me upset because they don't know my finances and why is it their business??

I do the exact same thing as you by not using my new bags around people that will notice that it's new! But this also is the reason why we get comments--our "splurge", "obsession", etc. is very visible because we always have them on us. And let's face it--Coach bag's are attention getters! lol. But we don't know how much someone spent in a week eating at expensive restaurants, or how much they spent on season tickets to their favorite team because those are not visible.
 
#4
The only person that says anything about my new bags is my husband. He rolls his eyes and says "What does that make 20?" I make him feel better by knowing I do the "exchange program." I have 4 bags, and always have 4 bags. If I want something new I must give up something else. If I cannot justify giving up one of my 4 for the new one, I do not get it.
 
#6
I'm never embarrassed to carry my bags. I do get comments from co-workers and my Mother (I think my Mother forgets I'm pushing 50, I'm not 12 anymore!). So, I just ignore them and smile. What I choose to do with my "fun" money is my business and no one elses. My bags make me happy and they are my only splurge. My DD has everything she needs/wants (well, maybe she wouldn't agree - teenagers!! lol), bills are paid, etc. So poo on them!
 
#7
There is one girl that makes me feel like hiding my bags when I walk by her. She has young kids and doesn't spend money on herself. I always mention to her that my son is grown and now I CAN spend money on myself. But..I still would rather not mention my new bag to her! Other than that one person, I don't feel embarrassed!
 
#8
I get that all the time at work. Another new bag? I work HARD and if I want anther new bag I get one. I do limit my funds in other areas so I can get that purse that I want. It is getting so bad now even the lunch lady looks right at my purse every morning when I get my coffee :biggrin: she knows my collection! LOL
 
#9
Just this week one of my friends at work told me what another co-worker has been saying about me. The woman who's been talking is 63, so she's only 2 years older than my mom, so I don't think it's a jealousy thing.....but she's been making comments about how materialistic I am. Last week I was trying to sell a couple bags to some girls at work and she was asking everyone why I'm selling them. My friend told her that I sell so I can buy something new. So she became incredulous and started telling everyone in the office that I want to sell them TO BUY A NEW BAG!!! Like that's the worst thing in the world. Then she said something to my friend like "well, at least YOU take care of your kids" like as if I don't take care of my ONE daughter! My friend has 7 kids! I have ONE! And she's always making comments (all of these behind my back, BTW) about how much money I spend on all my nice things and that's why I'm always broke, etc etc. I am just amazed at how much this woman worries about my business, and it truly makes me wonder how many other women at my job are talking behind my back. I wish I didn't care, but I am nice to everyone, and to think they are all snickering and talking bad about me does hurt my feelings. I am to the point where I almost feel nervous carrying a new bag, and don't want to be conspicuous at work with new bags, just so I don't have to deal with the looks and the sideways glances and the comments. Women. So catty!
 
#10
sndc99 said:
No one has every given me crap about my bag. they make fun of my habit but never ever say bad things about the money I spend. I have never been embarrassed about my bag I carry them with pride and honor. I love showing them off. If I ever got to the point that I felt this way I would stop carrying them. I understand what you are saying but I love my bags and wear them with pride.
Click to expand...

Good for you!!
 
#11
Coachie1975 said:
But this also is the reason why we get comments--our "splurge", "obsession", etc. is very visible because we always have them on us. And let's face it--Coach bag's are attention getters! lol. But we don't know how much someone spent in a week eating at expensive restaurants, or how much they spent on season tickets to their favorite team because those are not visible.
Click to expand...

Good point!!
 
#12
emilybug said:
I wish I didn't care, but I am nice to everyone, and to think they are all snickering and talking bad about me does hurt my feelings. I am to the point where I almost feel nervous carrying a new bag, and don't want to be conspicuous at work with new bags, just so I don't have to deal with the looks and the sideways glances and the comments. Women. So catty!
Click to expand...

Oh, emilybug, I'm so sorry that you have to put up with this :sad: I'm no psychologist, but it sounds like this woman has some serious insecurity issues that have nothing to do with you or your bags. I hope you can still enjoy taking them to work!.
 
#13
Coachie1975 said:
When my obsession first began I did get a lot of comments from my family and friends. They would say "Oh, I would never spend $400 on a purse!".
Click to expand...

I can totally relate. Over time this has gradually changed. Now they're more positive...even taking time to take a close look @ my bags when I get new ones. I've even converted 1 family member who said she'd never spend that much on a bag. She just recently bought her a bag w/ a matching wallet.

I remember one night out with the entire family (b-day celebration dinner) I was carrying my Ink Maggie. Since there was plenty of room & several extra chairs my hubby suggested we just use an empty chair to set the bag on (out of anyone's way of course). This way I don't have it in my lap, etc... And of course a family member rudely says, "you've gotta be kidding me, now the purse gets it's own chair!"

I was thrown off a little...I mean, I see lots of people who sit down at a table and maybe there's an extra chair and they use it to put shopping bags, purses, etc...on top of.

Lucky for me & a total surprise, my teenage son came to the rescue. He said, "Here mom, let me hold it for you. It's okay, they just don't get it." He sat down, put it in his lap, pushed his chair in & held it while he ate.

After he did that, the comment my relative made just didn't matter to me anymore, but what my son did for me I'll always remember. Anytime I'm feeling uncomfortable about carrying a bag I just try to remind myself that my son and hubby support me and there's a whole world of TPF'rs who do "get it."

@ emilybug, I'm so sorry about what you're dealing with at work. I know it's not easy to deal with all the nasty remarks. I sure hope things will get better.
 
#14
I am so glad you started this thread. I DO feel embarrassed about the number of bags that I carry into work, because i know that my coworkers are talking about me behind my back. I've learned not to care about what they think....

I DO find myself switching to a bag my mom has already seen to avoid getting lectured about my collection. She actually gets very worried and angry about it. I'm 34; don't make me feel like I'm going to get "in trouble" for deciding to buy a new bag!

I feel bad for those who deal with, well, crap from others. I understand completely and wish they would look at their own spending habits more closely. What do THEY splurge on?
 
#15
I hate it that this seems to be something so many of you have to deal with. I've never had to deal with any crap from anyone else about my bags, but I don't think my response would be very polite if it were to happen.

It's not the job of anyone else to police our spending habits. People can be rude and *****y all they want...I will still love my bags!
 
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