Death, Greiving and Loosing a loved one

  1. Hi

    I just lost my brother on December 18, 2006 and my Mom on February 11, 2007. I am trying so hard to just "live my routine of a life" It is so hard. Now to make things even worse... My sister was just dianozsed with Third Stage (Brain) Cancer. Can anybody give some sound insight on how to not "get over" all this but to learn how to live with all this tragedy. There has to be somebody out there that can relate... Thank you for letting me share.
  2. No words of wisdom... I lost my Dad in July and am still trying to "live my routine of a life" ....

    All I can say is that I hope you can find some peace. I'm sorry that it sounds "trite" but I really hope you can.

    Take care.
  3. I can relate so very much. When I lost my father it took me a year and a half to get my life back together. I was so sad, depressed, angry, lost, etc....I could not get out of bed, I drank too much, I ate too much, I was mean...just not myself at all. Im so sorry...time does heal. I hate it when people say that however it is true. Things will get easier again, the pain will remain but other things and people will come into your life and you will feel happiness again. This is how it was for me. The pain of lose and grieving is the very worst kind as its your heart. Im so sorry, so so sorry. Talk as much as you can about it and stay strong. We are all here to listen and cheer you in any way can. XXOO.
  4. I think that grief is the worst pain you can feel. Everyone grieves in a different manner, and at a different speed. There are therapists who specialize in grief and loss so if you feel that you need to speak with someone like that perhaps you could give it a try.
  5. I'm so sorry for your losses and everything you are going through right now. Allow yourself time to grieve, and try to find a good support system and consider talking to a counselor of some sort. I cannot even imagine how you feel, but I will keep you in my thoughts.
  6. I'm so sorry you've had a really hard time if it lately.

    I know this is not going to make everything all better but I've heard good things about people using Rescue Remedy to help with grieving, shock etc. It's not like medication it just helps you function and think of other thing without these things always on your mind, I'd be happy to send you some if you can't get it where you are just PM me.

    Once again I'm sorry, don't let anyone pressure you into putting on a brave face you take all the time and space you need everyone is so different and we all deal with things differently
  7. You know I hesitated on writing about this. I didn't even write how I wanted to say it. You ladies are the best! Thank you for your replys. They were all touching and made me feel not so all alone in this. Prior to the loss of my Mom and Brother I had not lost anybody close to me. It is a pain that I can not even explain. Thank you all again! I am so glad for writing
  8. *big hugs*

    after my brother left, finding a good therapist was the best thing i did for myself. i found one within the first week because i have alcohol issues and i was really afraid to slip back into that and make things worse. she's had a lot of good advice and it's good to talk to someone impartial who isn't dealing with their own grief (like other family members are). you don't have to worry about saying something or losing it around them....none of that will upset them.

    my sister has found a lot of solace in a grief support group. i volunteer at the animal shelter once a week and it helps me's hard to be sad around a dog, even if it's only a few hours break from it. but time is the only thing that has made it any better....and it is slooooooooow. that's my biggest issue, being patient with my grief. i'm holding out hope that in the end it will make me better somehow....
  9. I'm so sorry to hear Bagbug! One death is already so hard, I can't even imagine how these series of events that followed could affect you!
    I lost my dad last year suddenly and it is my first loss. I still am not over it and have gone through so much sadness, anger, bitterness, etc. I don't think people can really understand unless they went through it themselves. I would get so sensitive and mad when I felt that people expected me to be over it or get worried or upset about things that sound so trivial to me. I would be jealous of all my friends that continue to live their carefree lives and are moving forward with life while i felt like I kept getting one bad news after another. I think about therapy sometimes but am afraid that i won't be able to find a good therapist since it seems scary just to randomly pick one out of the list, but i know it is a good idea.
    Please remember to take care of yourself during this difficult time and post as much as you want.
  10. Bagbug, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses, and about your sister. One of my sisters passed away in 1998, and my dad died in 2003. My dear old mum is now 79 and I dread to think of what will happen when she passes on. I have no advice to share with you, just my sympathy and good wishes.
  11. *hugs*
  12. Hi Bagbug, this just seems too much for one person to bear & I am so sorry for your pain! I have lost significant people in my life particularly my beloved father when I was just 18 but this very quick succession of tragic events in your life it is so difficult & seems so unfair.
    I think you must get some help to deal with this, please try to get into bereavement counselling to help you cope & remain strong for your sister.
    You will never forget your loved ones but time does heal, sorry for the cliche but it is true thankfully. You will never forget & at times the pain will be great that is why you need to have expert help to learn appropriate coping mechanisms to keep yourself well. Don't worry if you get angry, anger is fuelling & can keep you "afloat" Just try to deal with it appropriately.
    Good times will come again & you will emerge from this a very strong human being. Hugs & love to you & we are all here for you. I hope that you have someone loving & understanding in your everyday life to see you through this.
  13. I don't have much to add, but you know you can always come here and post and there will be others who can offer their experience and thoughts--I think that in itself is a huge help and a beautiful thing about tPF.
  14. Oh, sweetie, you are not alone in dealing with death and dying..each of us have or will go through the loss and pain of losing a loved one, and every one of us will find a different way to cope as best we can. Cry when you need to, don't supress your feelings; get mad and yell at God if you need to (He can take it) Pour your heart out to Him or a trusted friend or loved one.

    Death is a part of life, and though that fact doesn't ease the pain much, it does help to know we must all take this journey.

    My brother is dying of cancer, and I feel blessed to be able to visit him, talk to him and tell him I love him..that's all I can do.

    Feel free to PM me if you need to talk. I lost both my mother (to cancer) and my brother (a motorcycle accident) within months of each other years ago. It doesn't seem fair to be hit with so much at one time does it?
  15. Oh my, I am so sorry. Losing a loved one (or more than one) is not something that I just "get over"...I can't. My grandmother died in 2000 and I am still not over it. My dog died in that same year and I still grieve for the both of them.

    I just try to take things one day at a time. Sometimes I have bad days, and sometimes I have good days. Small reminders of the both of them always make me cry and feel sad and depressed.

    How about seeing a counselor or therapist? Don't look at is as you have a "problem", rather, look at it as talking to an old, knowledgeable friend who is there for you and is willing to listen and give you advice.