Dealing with DH (not ready to be a daddy)

  1. DH and I got busy this weekend and for some reason he was really weird about wanting me to get the morning after pill. I told him I didn't want to because I didn't want to throw my hormones out of whack and be sick for a few days. I'm on birth control so I didn't think there was really a need anyway. He made it clear he wasn't ready for an addition to our family and left the room saying 'Well you better not get pregnany!' That 'romp' was early Monday morning in the am..now I'm having a browish discharge which has never happened before. I've been looking online and seeing stuff about implantation bleeding. Did anyone else experience this? If so when? I am so worried that I might be pregnant. If I am, does anyone have any advice for talking to DH. We've only been married for a little over a year and we're living away from our families while he's in the military. I have a year left until I get my BA. (just a little background) I am so upset that I might be pregnant and he would be really mad. That's supposed to be a happy time, and I will feel really guilty since I chose not to get the MAP and it would essentially be my fault. Also, when is the soonest after ::cough cough:: suspected conception can I get a pregnancy test? I have some, but I don't want to waste them if it's too soon. I almost don't want to know..I'm rambling I know, but I'm just so worried..anything will really help:crybaby:
     
  2. I already posted this in the pregnancy section and maybe it belongs in relationships...but I talk to you all the most so I figured I'd put it here...besides I think they're asleep lol

    DH and I got busy this weekend and for some reason he was really weird about wanting me to get the morning after pill. I told him I didn't want to because I didn't want to throw my hormones out of whack and be sick for a few days. I'm on birth control so I didn't think there was really a need anyway. He made it clear he wasn't ready for an addition to our family and left the room saying 'Well you better not get pregnany!' That 'romp' was early Monday morning in the am..now I'm having a browish discharge which has never happened before. I've been looking online and seeing stuff about implantation bleeding. Did anyone else experience this? If so when? I am so worried that I might be pregnant. If I am, does anyone have any advice for talking to DH. We've only been married for a little over a year and we're living away from our families while he's in the military. I have a year left until I get my BA. (just a little background) I am so upset that I might be pregnant and he would be really mad. That's supposed to be a happy time, and I will feel really guilty since I chose not to get the MAP and it would essentially be my fault. Also, when is the soonest after ::cough cough:: suspected conception can I get a pregnancy test? I have some, but I don't want to waste them if it's too soon. I almost don't want to know..I'm rambling I know, but I'm just so worried..anything will really help:crybaby:
     
  3. If you are using BC correctly I honestly dont think you are pregnant. It might be just a little discharge, it happened to me when I was on BC. I dont know what else to say, I guess I am not really helping, lol.

    Also, I think is not that he is not ready maybe he is just scared because he has to be away for the military.
     
  4. I don't know about you, but the day or two before my period, I get this brownish discharge. My GYN told me it's reminants of my last period being forced out, it doesn't happen if I've douched after my last period.

    I'm thinking your DH is a little premature about worrying if you are pregnant, and serioously, does he EVER want kids? This talk he had with you seems like it is surprising you, since you are on BC... why is he going off the deep end?

    I beleive but I'm not sure that you can get an accurate pregnancy test a week after your missed period date, but don't quote me on it. I had my tubes tied 24 years ago and haven't had to take one since, and I know they are more refined now.

    I hope whatever is eating him stops soon, this is the kind of conversation that can kill a relationship.
     
  5. I just posted in the other thread you made, let me copy it...

    If you are using BC correctly I honestly dont think you are pregnant. It might be just a little discharge, it happened to me when I was on BC. I dont know what else to say, I guess I am not really helping, lol.

    Also, I think is not that he is not ready maybe he is just scared because he has to be away for the military.
     
  6. Gah..I keep googling and researching and it is making me really worried. I think he just wants to be financially set and us to have our lives on track (him out of military and me graduated) before we have a kid. And I just told him he could deploy again if he wants to so he may not want to miss anything..I just don't want him to upset/condescending.
     
  7. I'm really sorry your DH isn't ready for a baby right now. For the at home pregnancy tests, you normally need to wait until your missed period. They have ones that can detect it earlier like EPT and First Response that you might want to look at also.

    You can also call your doctor and ask him how early a blood test can accurately determine if you're pregnant or not. (I personally don't know) It might be earlier and more accurate than an at home test.
     
  8. Some tests say they can be taken as early as 7 days before your expected period date.

    I didn't have any implantation bleeding.

    Don't worry too much because stress could delay your period.
     
  9. If your on BC and take it everyday at the same time then you have nothing to worry about. I am in your same boat. DH has never asked me to take a morning after pill but we dont want any children yet. Im in my last year of school also. I was getting sick on BC and very emotional and so I jsut recently stopped taking them about month ago. We use condoms and havent gotten pregnant. We used them before I was on BC and never got pregnant. So I dont think its that.
     
  10. I agree with the first post... if you have been on the pill, taking it properly, the chance of you being pregnant is VERY slim (but still possible). Spotting happens to people on the pill, and it is important to wait until 5 days before your period, for an early pregnancy test, or after your missed period. You can also talk to your DR about a blood test.

    This sounds so stressful for you! Sorry to hear this. Please keep us posted!
     
  11. I usually steer clear of relationship posts, but this one gets my goat.

    Who the HELL does your husband think he is?? You didn't exactly have sex by yourself so even if you did get pregnant, HE is equally responsible.

    You have no business feeling guilty or that getting pregnant is "your fault." If your husband doesn't want kids, there's one and only one way to ensure it won't happen:

    100% ABSTINENCE!

    I'd suggest you pass that little bit of information to him next time he wants a roll in the sheets.....​

    Bottom line: if he's making you feel this way, you guys need to get into counseling. Marriage is a partnership. The fact that you are feeling this afraid of your husband is very telling of some serious problems with the marriage that go far beyond babies.

    Sorry to be so harsh, but it makes me ill to see any woman beating herself up like this.....​
     
  12. I agree with the others, if you are on birth control pills, and have been taking them properly (big key there) you should be fine...

    But I am wondering why your hubby would want you to get the morning after pill if already on the pill?? And why you are so worried? Have you missed some pills?
     
  13. This is a bit strange to me.

    1. A MAP is a one-time thing. Have you guys been having sex extremely infrequently? I mean Mr & Mrs Joe Average are supposed to have sex 2.6 times a week or something, and cannot be taking the MAP each time they decide to have sex.

    2. Pregnancy is a problem that belongs to both of you. If he is so worried, ask him to wear a condom. Maybe ask him to wear TWO condoms, which would make the chances of getting pregnant statistically lower than when using the MAP.

    3. Why are you so frightened of his reaction? You were using BC, it's not your fault if you get pregnant!
     
  14. Actually, using two condoms at once increases the chance that they will break because of friction. Using one is actually safer.
     
  15. LOL!! (Never tried the two condoms :p) Maybe using some kind of lubricant between the two would lessen the chances of breaking?