Cried at work today

  1. Embarrassing!! But couldn't help it... and I'm a pretty tough girl!

    I LOVE my job, love everyone I work with except one person who I have strived to be kind to, empathize with, etc. For the first couple weeks of my new job, I thought I may have somehow offended him, that I somehow deserved his angry outbursts, tirades, and assignment of random and strange tasks. Now I realize that he's just a grown man thirty years my senior who gets his kicks out of bullying me. Almost everyone in the office has noticed and is appalled by his behavior and have approached me to sympathize, although they note that his attitude towards me is notably worse than towards anyone else... and any apologies I make for whatever mistakes he feels I make only seem to piss him off more. He's literally not civil to me: he will pass me without saying hello in the morning and leave without saying good-night.

    I hate to be a wimp or a complainer, but it's really gotten to the point where I wince when we have to work together. I work in a mid-size architecture firm, so it's not like we have an HR department or anyone. The person I work most closely with besides this awful man is one of the principals, whom I ADORE. I've thought about talking to the principal about how I TURNED DOWN TWO OFFERS to take a job where I am daily belittled to the point of tears.

    Or maybe this is just how working relationship are and I should suck it up? I've worked before and have NEVER been treated like this.

    Anyway, any advice on how to handle this would be appreciated. And thanks for reading.
     
  2. I would actually talk to one of his bosses about it...he clearly should NOT get away with this, as he is not maintaining professionalism. You should not have to be miserable going to work because of him, or have to take another job because of one stupid person. I would def. talk to someone about it, at least so they can separate him from you.
     
  3. oh yeah, and I'm sorry he made you cry today.....(((Hugs)))...hope you feel better!:flowers:
     
  4. Definitely report him. He should not be making you feel like that. My boss is kind of a hard ass and is difficult since he's ancient but I just ignore him its his character. But definitely report this guy I mean he's actually yelling at you. Not good.
     
  5. Is there a human resource department? I would start there and at least ask for advice.
    It sounds kinda sick and twisted but I wouldn't be surprised if this guy has the hots for you. Could be a frustrated angry old goat.
     

  6. That's what I was going to say, also....it sounds like the old "little boy teases little girl because he has a crush on her..." but yeah, he probably know he has no chance, so continues to belittle you. Please just report him.
     
  7. That's terrible! I think you should definitely complain to someone above him; this will continue to wear on you for years and years if it doesn't get straightened out. Or, put him on the spot in front of people. If he says something to you or does something nasty, call him out on it with others in the room. You'll have witnesses and maybe he'll think twice about the way he's treating you. That depends on the dynamics of your workplace, though, but please don't think you should just suck it up. You deserve better than that!
     
  8. That's terrible. Talk to someone quick! Don't let him get away with it coz it could get worse and if you wait to say something then, they might turn it around on you for not saying something sooner.You just never know
     
  9. Step 1. Sit down (at home) and document everything you can remember about his "angry outbursts and tirades".
    Step 2. Call HR, make an appointment to speak with someone there.
    Step 3. Present all information. Leave out the random assignments. If anyone else has witnessed his behavior toward you tell HR.
    Step 4. Tell HR that he has "created a hostile work environment" and you "don't feel safe working around him"
    Step 5. Request that they investigate your issue, and ask for a timeline regarding when that will happen.
    Step 6. Tell them you love the organization, want to do your best and appreciate their time.

    His behavior cannot continue. You know the HBO exec that just got fired for assualting his girlfriend? He has a long history of doing this, but everyone covered for him and brushed it off.
    PM me if I can help you prepare for the HR meeting.
     
  10. I think she mentioned there's no HR dept. :sad: Can you speak to someone who is senior to both of you?
     
  11. aw im so sorry you cried. i would probably talk to a superioir. im guessing he's not your boss and just an associate? dont cry though! i hope everything turns out okay for you :heart:
     
  12. whoever you have to talk to, to get the ******** to stop, do it. it is NOT normal to terrorize another human being while they try to make their living. absolutely not. if i were you i'd have straight up asked him by now what the hell his problem is, but i'm not in the position so maybe not. definately go to a superior. if i worked with him, i'd get him fired... and not even on purpose. ppl have treated me like crap at work before... all i do is tell my superior, and they dissapear. it's just what happens. they need to learn their lesson.

    how is there no HR?
     
  13. There's no way you should have to put up with that! That's technically harassment because you are just trying to do your job and he's treating you disrespectfully. If other people notice it too then it's not like it's just you feeling like you are being picked on. Your boss HAS to at least hear you out.
     
  14. So sorry your going through this. I would first ask him one on one what´s going on, if it doesn´t stop-go to his manager.
     
  15. you said you work with one of the principals right? I think this sounds like a good option to talk - at least you could explain your reasoning why you are turning down good jobs. If you address this in a professional manner (if he is a guy preferably as rational as possible, kwim??, although I know it is hard...) this can be to your advantage.

    if you don't feel like doing this: I recommend get a thick skin or confront this person directly. or, respond in the same manner as he does - sometimes you gotta beat them with their own weapons. is he superior to you, in terms of ranking? if yes that could be difficult. if no, who is he anyway, to you? some colleague, and sometimes we need to stand up for ourselves. stop being polite, sometimes people need a 'slap' (not literally of course), you know?

    I honestly think this is a man who may be intimidated by a young, professional and good at her job lady, so don't put up with it and don't let him make you feel insecure. or even better, ignore it. if he is keeping you off jobs, he may be achieving his goal.

    is there any chance that you managed to get into something that is rather fast? you know like super great projects others have to work for longer?