Coworker Problems...Help!

  1. I am stewing inside and I need to vent and need some advice!

    I am a grad student...and this is someone in my lab who I am slowly beginning to despise. Here's some background:

    She is about 9 years younger than me so we have nothing in common (she's single, parents pay her bills still, don't like the same music, don't like the same TV shows, doesn't own a home,. no pets, etc.). She is ALWAYS interupting me when I am talking, she is constantly riding my coattails, etc. Some examples:

    Everyday when I come in to school she asks to see my homework to check her answers. She always is asking what my papers are on and how long they are....like she lacks self-confidence. When I come up with an idea about something she immediately latches on and copies/slightly modifies the idea.
    I mentioned one day I was applying for a workshop and she went ahead and applied....even though I was the one who did all the background research on it. I eventually pulled out at the last second to avoid spending a week with her. I also mentioned that I had found funding for the workshop and then she runs off and applies for it to (competitive funding).

    I've since learned....I tell her NOTHING now!

    The big problem:

    We just spent 5 days in Boston together...including plane rides and hotel room. I ditched her on day 3....she was driving me insane. Always asking questions about things she could just look up herself (mostly about refunding our plane tickets due to travelling problems, etc.). So I pointedly told her that I wanted to go sightseeing myself and went and did all the things she wanted to do so that I could avoid her the rest of the trip.
    We missed our flight on the way back and got in 4 hours late and she asked if my hubby could pick us up (original plan...but he was asleep by then)...I said no and that I was taking a cab. She asked if we could share one and I said no because I was tired of her trying to constantly get things cheap and I knew I'd get stuck with the bill because she'd say her place was on the way home.

    Now relations are very frosty...and I could care less....BUt I do work 5 ft from her on a daily basis. Like for example...the other day 3 of us were talking and I tried to say something and she turns to me and says "Excuse me, I was trying to say something". The whole time I'm thinking that she constantly does this to me on a daily basis. Another example: the other lab-mate and I were making fun of these posters from a conference that happened to be a topic she likes and I said "UGH not another poster on X" and she looks up and says "Oh shut up". I really despise her!
    What would you do in this situation?
     
  2. I would kick her ass.
    But since that is not an option, I would just stay away from her as much as possible!
    monica
     
  3. LMAO monica.....I want to do that but would get kicked out of school....so not an option!

    I've been trying hard to ignore her. It's tough...being in the same lab with the same advisor!
     
  4. If you don't liker her, the best option would be to stay away and ignore her! She's not worth any hassle.

    how much longer do you have to be around her for? will you be ok?
     
  5. Ah, bad, bad.

    These things happen sometimes. I think the best thing is to avoid her as much as possible. Do you have to be in the lab at all times? I'm sorry because sharing the same advisor is kind of tricky...

    Ignore her as much as possible, and if there is a situation where you are thrown together, lay the ground rules beforehand. I don't want to sightsee togehter, all joint costs - cab rides, food etc must be split evenly and so on.
     
  6. I just read about this in Cosmo. The next time she mentions one of your ideas in class, just say something like, "It's great that you went back to my idea on X, but if I could just elaborate on it . . . . "


    That's the most polite way of saying "Screw you!"




    Otherwise, just ignore her and don't show her anything.
    (Ask to see HER work!)
     
  7. Just ignore her, totally not worth it.
     
  8. I agree with monica but my style is more punch her in the face! LOL. Just ignore her or maybe sit down and talk with her about how you are flattered that she looks up to and wants to do the same things as you, but that she really needs to come up with her own ideas. Let her know that you two have to work next to eachother and that y'all need to at least get along for the sake of sanity.

    Then again if that doesn't work go back to the punch her in the face plan!
     
  9. Thanks for the advice all....

    Caitlin....I LOVE it! I will totally do that one day!

    Unfortunately, I do have to be in the lab all the time (I have 8 undergrads working on a project for me)....but I usually throw my Ipod on to ignore her.....and I think she actually feels uncomfortable and will often go work elsewhere (which is great!).
     

  10. Unfortunately I have about another 2-3 years left with her! We both started grad school at the exact same time....but I'm almost finished my masters (she hasn't even started) so I'll finish ahead of her.
     
  11. just ignore her she's still an indulgent child whose used to getting her way

    treat her as you would any other colleague that you see is trying to take advatnage say as little as possible but remain civil
     
  12. Thanks Alvie!
     
  13. So sorry you have to tolerate someone who is so selfish! She seems sneaky and much into herself, so do as others say and keep your distance, because she will take advantage of every situation to get ahead. Take good care and do not listen to her! You have much to accomplish and work on and she is just insecure and quick to take any opportunity that will help her and her research.
     
  14. Wow Twiggers, sounds like she is a want to be mini you.
    Why not take her to lunch and explain how you are feeling?. Sounds like she is really not mature and perhaps by talking with her it will help her see your side.

    When you reject her it seems as if the situation has and could get even worse. This young lady needs to develop her own self instead of trailing yours around.
     
  15. She is an natural adversary and cannot be respected or trusted. She's using you to the best of her advantage so I'd not give her any chances and simply ignore her.

    If we're in the presence of other people, I'd take every opportunity to subtley expose to the other person the horrible person that she is. (Say something that will make her look like the bad person and you're the innocent one.)