Completely Heartbroken - a bit long

  1. Hello Ladies,

    I am very confused about the situation I am in with my 7 year relationship.

    I recently found out that my long-term BF has decided to move in with a female co-worker who I have never met. Aside from this being one of the issues, I honestly thought that we would be getting engaged this year and moving in together.

    I know that I should try to work things out, but I just can't seem to deal with it. I feel such resentment and anger towards him for making me believe that we were both headed down the altar, and that we wanted the same things.

    I guess what hurts the most is that he didn't even ask me or take me into consideration when he made his decision.

    Part of me wants to stay with him in the hope that we will end up together, but the other part of me is so bitter and feeling like I am just settling and a hope that shouldn't be there.

    Sorry this is so long, I just need someone to help me! I never thought I would question my relationship and now I don't even know if there is one anymore.
  2. Did you tell him you were upset about his new roommate? Do you think they are romantically involved? It sounds like you two should have a talk about this, as well as your future. Depending on what happens with the discussion, it might be time for you to move on. I know it is hard to have that talk with someone, but it is for the best in the end. I hope everything works out.
  3. Yeah, I mean, how could he move in with someone and not even tell you about it? So you had no idea whatsoever that he was moving in with his chick from work? If so, then obviously he doesn't value your opinion on big decisions, and it might be time to figure out where his priorities lie.
    Bottom line, talk with him and get things straightened out so you know, without a doubt, what he's doing, and what you need to do.
  4. I am so sorry for not originally including this.

    Yes I asked him why he would make such a rash decision and he just said, "i saw the opportunity to move out and i jumped on it." Apparently, the same day she asked him to move in is also the same day he went and signed the lease with her.

    I told him that it was going to be hard for me to accept this, seeing as how I am a very jealous and vengeful person. I explained that I am really hurt and he made me question our relationship, something I never thought I would have to do.

    He knows that I am not happy with this situation, now it's just a matter of deciding whether or not to stay with him or look for someone else.
  5. It came out of nowhere.

    The weekend before, he mentioned to his best friend that if he moved out it would have to be somewhere in the middle between his job and mine.
  6. i'm so sorry your hurt..i believe actions speak louder than words...guys will tell u matter what, just stay focused on what his actions are...look at what he has hurts to face reality but in the long run you'll be glad you did.. ur lucky u found out before u got married or wasted anymore of your life on a him
  7. Yeah, well, you just don't do that when you're in a relationship. I mean, he couldn't take 5 minutes and call you? "Hey baby, so and so from work just offered a room to me. I think I'm gonna take it". Was that so hard?
  8. Wow, talk about dropping a bomb! After 7 years together, he absolutely should've talked with you first about 1) moving, and 2) moving in with a FEMALE coworker and presumably friend.

    It shows that he doesn't consider you a true and equal partner in ALL THINGS. You may not be married, but you've been sharing your lives for the past 7 years. Which means that major decisions such as moving needs to involve at least some discussion.

    Only you can decide whether this is a dealbreaker or not. Or is he just THAT clueless that he saw no harm in making this decision without you?? (it's possible) Or do you suspect something else...i.e., he's having an affair with her, or he's looking for a way out of the relationship and figured this would p!ss you off sufficiently?
  9. Exactly!
  10. Wow, that is really crappy of him. Seven years together definitely deserves more than a phone call after a decision like that has been made!
  11. um ok, dump him. hes a jerk.
  12. I for one would not stay with someone who was such a selfish half wit that he would not even consider that this might be an issue that should be discussed with you. That said, should you make the mistake of staying with him be prepared for a lifetime of these type of unilateral decisions. His agenda is driven by his own needs, and will be for the rest of his life most likely.
  13. ^Yup - if he's making decisions like these now, he'll make similar decisions without your input once you're married (if he even takes it to that step). I think you're finding out a very important trait in him that will ultimately affect your relationship. Just because you've been together 7 years doesn't mean you have to stay with him. Good luck - you deserve to be with someone who WANTS to share important decisions with you.
  14. **RED FLAGS**

    I cant see how he wouldnt tell you this after SEVEN years???WTF??
    Dump his ass..seriously..I wouldnt hesitate..they are prob fooling around for all u know..STILL....Any guy that would sign a lease and do that without talking to you...Should be left at the curb
  15. yep, have to agree with those that say dump him. if after 7 years there is no together, don't fight for it. good things will come your way for sure! you never know, but if it isn't meant to be, it just isn't meant to be....

    i know it sucks to say that but I learned the hard way not to fight for something that isn't meant for you - as in the end it doesn't work out but something much better will come along!