Children and pricey items

  1. I didn't want to threadjack ranskimmie's thread in the Handbags & Purses subforum, but her thread started me thinking about children and material goods. I have a 3 1/2 year old son, and so far, all he ever asks me for are books, CDs, and DVDs of mostly educational shows.

    But yesterday, I was reading a recent New York magazine that had a one page spread on kids' backpacks. They ranged from $47 Jansport bags to $1200 Burberry bags. I saw a Ghurka bag at $395 and thought "Wow, how nice. I'd love to get something like that for my son when he's in 3rd or 4th grade and his back is large enough to make it practicable."

    Is that horrible of me? I'm not sure if he'd like something like that, but if given a choice, I know that I would probably opt for something like that for him. And I expect that neither he nor his 8 year old friends would take in the price of the bag. Their mothers probably wouldn't even either, as I'm pretty sure a backpack like that isn't even available within fifty miles of our home. Is it wrong of me to impose my tastes on him?

    What if I gave him the choice, and he chose a $20 backpack that I didn't care for instead? It'd only be a fraction of the price, and he might love it, and I'd think it's tacky. Is that better?

    And if he did agree with my choices, like the $395 Ghurka backpack, should we treat the purchase as something normal and uneventful, and therefore to be expected...or as something precious, and something to be treasured? By the way, I know I do and will expect my son to take excellent care of everything he owns. I do not like waste.

    I'm lucky not to have faced these issues yet, but parents (and former children!)...what's the right thing? Should we set limits based on their age, no matter what our own circumstances or tastes? Or on what they would like? Or on what their friends have? I suspect I'll be having to deal with this at some point.
     
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  2. My daughter wears Juicy, Burberry, Da-Nang, Oilily etc . . . and I've already bought her jewelry. She'll be 5 in 2 weeks.
    It depends, to me, on the child.
    I will probably continue to dress her this way as long as she takes care of her things, she's pretty OCD already so we probably won't have a problem w/ that! LOL ;)
    But so far I can't imagine buying my boys a $400 bag.
    Not because of their gender, but because of their general lack of respect for things. Now, my twins are only 20 months, maybe that'll change, but most boys I know under 13 are pretty hard on things.
    I remember being in school, so I'll always be sensitive to what's "cool" as long as it's reasonable.
     
  3. I don't know.. as a child I never got anything expensive unless it was jewerly.. and it was always for something special, like a communion or a special birthday (Like when I turned 15 and had my Quinces) I got my first Coach bag as a gift for my 15th birthday.. but I didn't start appreciating expensive things until I was about 17.

    I think that if your child wants the $20 bag.. you should let him have it.. his friends probably have the same bag and he wants to fit in. But if he likes it.. and you want to get him something special.. then get it.. but remember that kids tastes change every other day and remember that he's going to drag that bag all over the concrete floor.. REGARDLESS of how much you paid and how careful you tell him to be, to him, its just a bookbag!
     
  4. I would say it depends on whether or not money is an issue. If it is, then for sure you'd treat the purchase as a special deal-because it is. Is the backpack you like alot better than a Jansport, say? I have no idea. But, you can be sure that kids are hard on things, so to spend that kind of money on a backpack, for me, it would have to be significantly better. I have 3 boys and a girl-they range in age from 5 to 11. I let them pick out their backpacks from a given store. My boys all like typical boy colors, usually solid darker colors. My girl has a Dora backpack now. They picked ones that they liked, but also something that would not be missed too much if it got ruined or ripped or whatever.
     
  5. My son is 8 years old and I don't believe in spoiling kids to much. Sure I buy him trendy cloths of good brands like timberland etc but he's not getting toys or anything when we do the grocerie shopping. I made the experience that kids who got it all don't have any wishes anymore. I would definetely not buy a 400$ backpack for him even I can afford it just because I don't think that he would value it. He's still a kid where the trendy must have things change pretty quickly. We're pretty strict with TV as well and there would be no way in the next couple of years that he'll get his own. Same with things like play station or game boy, we have about 4 laps and 3 other pcs so there is no need to buy the trendy play station because the pcs do the same.(my hubby is in the IT branch) The only thing I always buy him without a reason like birthday/x-mas are books. He has his own big library of all classical childrens literature and I enjoy that we are all reading together before he goes to bed. But that's just my opinion.
     
  6. I see little girls 12 or 13 who carry around LV multi-color pouchettes and you can tell they're not just borrowing it from mom's closet. I don't think it's healthy for kids to get into the materialistic stuff so soon.
     
  7. I think its perfectly fine, I love seeing my little sister in Dior, wearing the clothing and carrying the bags :lol: She likes it too, and a lot of times you can find the matching bags since they make the regular size and usually a smaller size as well. I'd love to do that to my kids if I ever had any :biggrin: My family spoiled me all of my life and I think I turned out just fine. Its all about the way you go about it.
     
  8. I think my problem with it is that little girls can get really competitive about these things.

    I think competing over clothing and handbags at that young age is ridiculous. They should be worried about competing over grades, or soccer games!

    The problem with "spoiling" kids is that there is there's a way to indulge your child, and a way to just ruin them, and it seems like the latter happens far more frequently than the former.

    I've been pretty lucky... growing up I had private tennis lessons, I went to good schools, etc. But did I have a Tiffany bracelet and would I have gotten one if I had asked? Heck no!

    Kids have the rest of their lives to worry about clothes and handbags and superficial stuff. Sometimes (sometimes, not always, of course) it gets in the way of them just being little girls!
     
  9. I think it depends on:

    1. The child - will they really appreciate you spending that sort of money at such a young age?

    2. What sort of school will they be going to? (If an all girls school the bag should be much more well looked after lol)
    When i was at school, it was 'hip' to have brands such as Puma, Hi tec and Nike for bags - my mum couldn't afford those sort of names back then though, good job really, cos i used to scuff and drag my bag along the floor, chuck it around, sit on it....

    3. Can you afford it or is it just to continue your own label addiction?:biggrin:

    I've got a 3 year old son, no way would i spend that sort of money on him knowing that he's not going to look after it....ok, so it may look nice on his back, but it won't stay like that for long!

    But each to their own of course - it's what you feel comfortable doing that counts x:biggrin:
     
  10. I agree 100%.
    If anything a parent should quide a child in such a manner that they won't develope materialistic ways.:sad:
     
  11. I agree. I think that even if I had the ability to get everything my kids want, it wouldn't be happening because I don't want to spoil them to the point where they expect brand name things and don't treat it as a privilege.

    I've always had cheap stuff growing up because my parents wanted me to concentrate on my studies. As in, they would deliberately get me non name brands and not buy me trendy things when I was little because they didn't want me to become fixated on superficial things. Then, when I got to college, my mom started getting my designer everything and I think I've learned to appreciate it a lot more. Though I do admit that now I think I've been getting a little TOO used to it and spend a LOT more money than I used to.
     
  12. i don't think it would really be appropriate, and not because it's expensive, but because i think it's important for kids to develop their own personalities, right down to how they dress and what backpack they get. if your son picks that, and you can afford it and he understand that he needs to respect it and treat it well, then that's fine, but is an 8 year old little boy going to pick that? or even want it if it was given to him? not based on what i remember 8-year-old boys being like.

    i think you should simply allow him to be himself. if he sees it and likes it, that's one thing, but buying it for him because you like it is probably more about your enjoyment than his, and i remember it being quite fun to pick out my own backpack every year in school. kids don't have sophisticated tastes, that's part of their charm.

    and 12-year-old girls with designer purses are largely annoying, IMO, because more often than not they're obsessed with labels and having expensive things (no matter what they are) and looking richer than their peers. most of the girls like that that i've ever met don't respect the piece, the designer, or how you shouldn't take it for granted or try and make others feel bad based on what you have. there are certainly acceptions (noriko's sister is probably one - i find that girls that are ACTUALLY wealthy, not just trying to look wealthy, are a lot less annoying about it), but i think kids that age should usually work their way up the designer goods chain like the rest of us, because then you respect the value of what you are getting more.

    *end novel*
     
  13. I was thinking about this after I posted and agree. When I was nine or so, my aunt brought me back several terribly expensive woolen dresses from Austria that I thought were hideous. My mother loved them, and wanted me to wear them to school all the time. All I wanted were Lacoste dresses like all of the other girls wore (this was about 1970). I don't think I ever got a Lacoste dress because my mother didn't see the need for more clothes, as I had all of these other clothes that she considered fabulous.
     
  14. yeah, so you see what i mean. he's certainly very lucky to have the possibility of getting something so nice, but his perspective is completely different. all i wanted when i was 8 was the baggy-leg jeans from old navy that everyone in my school had back then.
     
  15. I think you should let him pick what he wants. At such a young age, kids like and want different things all the time. Besides, as the times change, different colors and characters and logos are the new thing.