cheating or not? sorry- long!!
- Thread starter sayhitoromes
- Start date
Never stay in a relationship because there is a ring or will be a ring on your left hand. Never stay in a relationship because your families say you're already engaged. Marriage is not a good thing to go into when you already had trust issues to begin with.
You probably don't really need one more voice in the chorus of "leave him" but I have to add mine just the same. You had said that you doubt whether any man can be true to a woman over many many years. I think that while passion fades, you can and should expect absolute trust, emotional support, loyalty. You can definitely hope for all this and should never settle for less.
Exactly. Don't settle. He's not treating you well. Period. You deserve better than this. You certainly don't deserve this drama. I'm married and if I found things like that in my husband's mailbox I would file in a heartbeat. It would be so difficult and devastating but I can't be done like that. Ever. A breakup now will be easier than a divorce later. Just IMO.
darelgirl said:
Thank you and thanks to everyone for words of wisdom. I have read everyone's replies and I know what I have to do, it is really just a matter of bringing myself to do it. I know if someone was telling me this story, I would say 'duh! leave him!" but it's hard to do.
Darelgirl - we've been together about 2 years. The sad thing is that I know he wants kids really badly, anytime one of his cousins or something has a kid he always talks about how jealous he is and wants children so badly and he has talked like this since I've known him. There is an age difference between us, I am 22 and he is almost 9 years older than me and I know he is anxious to get his family started...but I guess it won't be with me.
sayhitoromes said:
you're sooooooo young to be signing your life away to a guy that's doing this to you. it's easy for us to tell you to drop him, but we totally understand that it's a slow, emotional process and something that can't be done lightly. best wishes, hun.
Been there, done that. For me, the moment I lost the trust, I was done... I cannot be with somebody I don't trust (mostly if I was going to marry him and we've been living together for 4 years!!)
It hurts, it's difficult, but one year after the break up, I feel good again...
*big hug*
It hurts, it's difficult, but one year after the break up, I feel good again...
*big hug*
sayhitoromes said:
That makes me so mad
!!! Why is he talking about family, when he actually goes on dates with girls and lies to you about going on his ex-gf's party???? He shouldn't even think about having kids when he is so immature!! I am so sorry you have to go through all of this! :cry: But it is better to know now than after the wedding!!!Was this the first time you caught him lying???
Be strong girl and don't let this guy tear u apart! I know you love him but he obviously doesn't appreciate it!!!
PM me any time, if you want to talk! I can listen
Ditto, but for now you cannot trust him.coco-nut said:
Here's my mantra - if you CAN'T do it from of your significant other - then YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING IT!
He lied to you when he said he was testing himself - he told her he didn't kiss her because she has a boyfriend. WTF!? What about the gal he has at home?
You cannot go any further w/ this guy until he EARNS your trust back and they may be possible.
I'm sorry this happened to you
He might've lied to you about the party cause he knows you don't trust him but I don't think he lied for that reason. There are too many holes in the story and you pretty much summed up your thoughts on this.
If I were in your shoes (I've been with my BF 5+ years and we're set to get married in 2 years or so), it's over. But that's just me.
Be strong and hang in there.
If I were in your shoes (I've been with my BF 5+ years and we're set to get married in 2 years or so), it's over. But that's just me.
Be strong and hang in there.