Changing my name advice?

  1. I know there is a thread asking about changing your maiden name to your husband's name, keeping it, etc. I read it and got some good points of view. But my question is:

    I got married a few months ago and have kept my name but part of me really wants to take my husband's name, but I'm slightly uncomfortable changing my name. It feels weird to write a new name. The best advice I've gotten is to keep my last name and move it to middle name (convenient since I don't have a middle name) and take his name. My friend also said since I'm about to get my master's degree I should start my career with the new name, etc. I know that in the future it would be weird for me to have a different name than my kids.

    Soooo, is it normal to feel weird/ambivalent about changing my name? Does this feeling go away? Does this mean maybe I shouldn't change it if I feel conflicted about it?
     
  2. i understand! I just got married and I haven't changed my name yet. We have a 2 year old and that was one of the things i was looking forward to was us all having the same last name, but now I'm like..ah..why did it matter? LOL

    I still haven't decided if I'm going to change it legally or not....
     
  3. It's definitely normal to feel conflicted about it. Your name is part of your identity. I had a tough time deciding what to do too, but in the end tradition won and I took hubby's last name. It's been 2 years and I know I made the right decision. You just need to go with your gut on this one.
     
  4. Well, I got married at 31, so I had my last name for 31yrs then changed it. Talk about attachment!!!

    However, it was not legally changed...meaning, I had not changed my Social Security number to it yet...I actually JUST did that. Just one of those things I forgot to do. LOL

    Anyways, it was not easy, as I love my maiden name and the history behind my family name...but I also love my husband and was proud to take his on.

    So your feelings are normal.
     
  5. I did not change my name. But, DH didn't care. I like my name and I didn't really see the need to change it.

    In the end, it's what you're comfortable with, so if you get a master's degree I don't see why that would have anything to do with you having a different name.

    As for kids, why don't you just wait until you get to that point and see?
     

  6. What I meant was since I'm about to get the degree I should have it printed with my new name and start my career with that new name, and go from there, etc...
     
  7. do whats comfy for you....wait if youre not sure.
     
  8. ITA.
    I, on the other hand, could not wait to change my last name! I HATED it my entire life, and right after my honeymoon, I ran down to the DMV and the Social Security office to get it changed:p
     
  9. I am using both names, no hyphen (and I'm keeping my middle name). All of my diplomas and credentials have my maiden name, I will still work under this name. I will not change existing bank/charge accounts. Socially, I use my husband's name, though. Children, if any, will be given both, they can just use his if they want.
     
  10. i thought i couldnt wait to change my name but then after i got married..idk..now i dont want to give it up!
    Now i feel like i actually love my maiden name and am proud of all that i have accomplished and brought to my name..so rite now i use my maiden name professionally but socially like u, chiara, i use dh's name....i think it just will take awhile to get used to...but i haven't changed it legally either..
     
  11. I feel your pain there ... my "original" maiden name was very hard to spell and pronounce. My dad was going to change it and never got around to it, his dad was going to change it and never got around to it ... you get the idea. So, 11 years ago when I moved from MI to CA, I legally changed it to something that's very easy to spell and pronounce.

    This is also part of the reason why I didn't want to change my name after I got married -- I had already changed it to something that worked for me!
     
  12. I really wanted to take my husbands name but had been using my own name for work for about 8 years when I got married. I was advised to keep my maiden name for busines purposes so I hypenated...
    it worked out great (except for a few airlines whose computers hate the - sybol).
     
  13. Is this something that you think you SHOULD do or is it something that you WANT to do? There's a difference. If you're hesitating, then stick with your maiden name. Don't change your name because you think that's what you're supposed to do. Only change it if that is your choice and you're not doing it to live up to some social expectation. As for the diploma, does it really matter what name you have on there? You've earned it, regardless of what name you put on it. :tup:
     
  14. The best advice I've gotten is to keep my last name and move it to middle name (convenient since I don't have a middle name) and take his name.


    That's what I did. My legal name is Kathleen MaidenName MarriedName and that is on all my legal documents. However, socially, I'm Kat MarriedName.

    My attorney cousin also told that if I hyphenate my names...technically, it's considered one name so I would be called Mrs. MaidenNameMarriedName...and that was too long for for me.

    The main reason I kept my maiden name was that my father had only sisters and daughters so that name, in effect, died out with him. My only regret, now that my father is gone, is that we didn't pass on my maiden name as a middle name for one of our children. Our son, however, does carry my Dad's first name as his middle.
     
  15. ^^ that's the crux of the issue really. part of me wants to change and part of me doesn't. the part that doesn't feels like i'm losing part of my identity, not all of it. i don't care what others think and DH kinda hinted he wishes i would but i told him it's my choice, we didn't discuss it further. we're not traditional at all so it's not out of a sense of tradition or to follow the herd. i don't know, i think i'll just wait until it seems 100% right for me to do.