Bullies

  1. How do you teach your child to avoid bullying, whether as an aggressor, victim or bystander ?


    Have you ever witnessed examples of coworkers and other peers in your life engaging in bullying behaviors, even in their adult lives?
     
  2. I'm not a parent, so I am not going to try to attempt a guess on how to teach a child about avoiding bullying...

    Have I witnessed this as an adult? Absolutely. There are a few clients at work who unfortunately must have been rewarded by this type of behavior as kids because they still do it today.
     
  3. I have tought my kids by example....(not saying that to try to sound goody-goody)....but my kids have NEVER heard me speak badly about someone else. Here in Hong Kong, it doesn't seem to be a problem, as much as in the U.S., but the one time that I heard my son make a disparaging remark about someone else...instead of being mad, I told him how sad it made me to hear him speak like that...and I had him imagine how it would feel to have the same thing said about him or his sisters. It has not been a problem again!! I am really happy that this is not something that we have to deal with.......
     
  4. my 9 year old son gets picked on because he's tall, i've tried to tell him that they are just jealous because he's taller then them, and point out the good aspects of being tall, like maybe he can play basketball, or he can reach things they can't. He knows it's not nice to pick on other people, and since he's experienced it, he knows better than to do it.
     
  5. Being picked on sucks!!! And god...they can think of anything....being tall??? Give me a break....in a few years they will be so....jealous of his height! Matter of fact...they already are...hence the teasing!!
     
  6. I saw something that totally horrified me this morning...I was in a car driving past a jubior high school, and in the yard I saw this boy being bullied by another boy while a crowd of about 20 laughed and watch. The bully victim was on the ground, in the fetal position while the other boy kicked him and took his money..I felt so guilty for not doing anything...but then again, what can you do when you're speeding by? I've been thinking about it all day.
     
  7. I don't have any kids, but we, my family, tought my cousin to fight back. I think it's ok to hit back. Sometimes, words don't work when someone is basically kick your booty. I think you need to teach kids to stand up for themselves, because imo there are only adult bullies because some people never learned to figt back. I used to work in a store where these girls picked on very overweight coworker and she told me in private she always felt less because people picked on her when she was young. I tol her to stand up for herself.
     
  8. When I was in eighth grade, I faced a lot of bullying (because I was 'different' . . . let's just say I wasn't wearing what the other kids were wearing. Looking back on it, it wasn't the ideal choice, but that doesn't give the other people an excuse to make my life a living hell, does it?)


    I was switched from the art class where the tormentors were into metal shop
    I got to run laps instead of play volleyball or kickball becuase my tormentors would aim the ball right at me.
    I notified the principal or the guidance counsellor whenever there was a problem.

    I tried to ignore it and avoid them at all costs.

    I think I developed the "You don't like me? Well, screw you, I don't like you either" attitude.

    I kept to myself a lot so by the time high school rolled around I got used to my own company.

    In an odd way, it became a blessing in disguise, because when I got to college, I was cool with either sitting with other people or by myself in the cafeteria.

    I learned that, while spending time with people is great, I'm not a social butterfly, and I don't need to be around people all the time.
     
  9. Often times the aggressor is being abused (either emotionally or physically) at home so its best if the guidance counselor looks at the whole picture. Aggresive behavior can develop as a coping mechanism and can be corrected through therapy.

    I did get picked on but there were kids in my class who got it worse. I often admired them because on the outside they didnt care. They shrugged off the taunting as if it were nothing and went about their daily routine. I think what can be taught to chidren is not internalizing the ciritism. This can be done through role playing in which a way to cope with the bullying is also introduced.
     
  10. My boss is a bit of a bully but she folds like a house of cards if one stands up to her. Most bullies are cowards at heart. I would advise anyone who feels they are being bullied to just ignore it and not take it personally. When the bully doesn't get the response he/she wants, they will lose interest eventually.
     

  11. I think I would have called 911 on my cell phone.

    Ugh!! Kids can be so mean!:cursing:
     
  12. I have an 8 year old cousin, Molly. Well Molly's friend told my aunt (Molly's mom) that she didn't like a girl because she wore the same shoes everyday!! :wtf: When my aunt told me this I couldn't believe my ears. Luckily, my aunt doesn't let my cousin hang around this girl outside of school.
     
  13. I honestly think that it is a lot worse than we think. I know there are children that are terrified to go to school - and IMO this is not a way of life. I mean, you and I would leave a situation like this, so why let a child get all freaked out all day long?
    I am not sure how I will deal with this for my boy but I was raised in total 'harmony' (my mum is like that, bless her) and it took me a long time to realise how to fend for myself - I don't want my child to get picked on by others in the same way so I will teach him to defend himself against aggressors. I don't believe in being aggressive first though.

    as for adult bullies - I can honestly say I have not met someone like that but then I hear unpleasant stories of some people in my own family. I found that bullies only pick on what they think is a weak person, so elbows out at all costs
     
  14. I work in a school and it is much worse than many of you might think. The worst isn't the boys, but the girls who bully through words. They are smart enough to act as sweet as pie around the teachers/adults, but then they say things or exclude the victim when there is no adult presence (think hallways, bathrooms, gym locker rooms). The girls also use the internet and email to bully (sending hateful anonymous emails and creating awful websites to tease their victim). For some reason, the girls don't see what they are doing as bullying because they aren't physically attacking their victims. However, it is so much more hurtful and damaging.
     
  15. Pradas, are you reading Jodi Picoult's new book Nineteen Minutes? It just came out last week and deals with the issue of school bullies. I read it in one day, it was so good.

    Bullies are a part of life. I think everyone at one point in their life was bullied, but of course not to the same degree as others. I think parents do need to teach children to stand up for themselves. I don't have children, but a lot of my coworkers have told their children, "If someone hits you, hit them back." They want their children to stand up for themselves rather than be the kid that always gets tormented on the playground. I guess they figure if they teach their five year old to stand up for themselves, the aggressor learns early on to leave that specific child alone.

    I've definitely seeing bullying in the workplace as well, but unfortunately when you need a job & have bills to pay, you have to put up with it until you can find a better situation.