Brides who register for expensive gifts...
- Thread starter IntlSet
- Start date
I would get them a gift card from one of the stores that they are registered at, in the amount of the gift that you would like to give. I think that $50 for an associate (not a good friend) is completely acceptable. They should be glad that they are getting gifts, IMO.
I had a friend who's a semi-celeb and had a very expensive register, like $200 for a vase. I figured she registered here because she really liked the things from this store, so I tried to get a few friends to chip in. If I didn't succeed in doing that I would have given her a money-gift instead. Or something else within my budget anyway.
Japster said:
I also agree.
I'm not planning to have a registry if I get married. Of course the problem is, people may feel pressured to buy something anyway and I'll end up with a lot of stuff I don't want.
There is almost nothing I'd want that I can register for. I really care less for kitchen appliances. I'd probably have a small wedding with close friends/family so, knowing me, they'd know not to buy me anything like that, but if feeling generous, they'd buy me some Louboutins instead.
I think the registry should have gifts with different price tags. Some people register at 2, 3 different places for that reason. And yes, the style and price of the gifts should be somewhat inline with those of the wedding, and guests should have the option of choosing what they'd like the bride and groom to have within their own budget. Finding others to chip in and getting a gift certificate from the store are great options!
sonya said:I'm not planning to have a registry if I get married. Of course the problem is, people may feel pressured to buy something anyway and I'll end up with a lot of stuff I don't want.
There is almost nothing I'd want that I can register for. I really care less for kitchen appliances. I'd probably have a small wedding with close friends/family so, knowing me, they'd know not to buy me anything like that, but if feeling generous, they'd buy me some Louboutins instead.
I understand that sentiment...however, I LOVE, absolutely LOVE shopping from registries. Even if I don't buy an item that is on the registry, it gives me an idea of what the person is looking for and what their style is. Even for close friends I beg them to register.
I loved registering for my wedding. I didn't want or need a kitchenaid thingy but my mother insisted on buying me one. It is still in the box! :shame: I just am not a cook. I'd rather make jewelry. LOL
When I registered I included all ranges from a $2 utensil to our $300 kitchenaid (which mom made sure no one else bought!). My husband insisted upon registering for expensive Caliphon (sp?) set of pots/pans. They can't even go in the dish washer! Hello! I'd much rather have cheapo ones that can just go straight in the washer. I don't hand wash things. :blink:
We didn't even register for 'fancy' dishes...just every day dishes. I love them...we use them every single day. We didn't get enough from our wedding guests but we got lots of cash and gift cards so we were able to complete the set ourselves. That was nice.
Several guests went in together on some things (even inexpensive things which was kind of funny). All in all, I'm not real high maintenance so was thrilled with everything that anyone was willing to give to us. I loved our wedding.
Personally, I think people should register for a range of price ranges so then everyone has soemthing to choose from.
I didn't register when i got married. We had been living together for 5 years when we wed-registering for gifts just seemed so wrong (even though people encouraged me to do it!). We had everything we needed!
I didn't have a bridal shower either for the same reason-instead, i had a bachelorrette party-we all went to Chippendale's
Anyway-we got almost all cash at our wedding-I think we received actual presents from about 7 or 8 people-the rest was money.
I didn't register when i got married. We had been living together for 5 years when we wed-registering for gifts just seemed so wrong (even though people encouraged me to do it!). We had everything we needed!
I didn't have a bridal shower either for the same reason-instead, i had a bachelorrette party-we all went to Chippendale's
Anyway-we got almost all cash at our wedding-I think we received actual presents from about 7 or 8 people-the rest was money.
As a caveat, I know that some retailers (Williams-Sonoma and Crate and Barrel) will send you a 10% off certificate after your event that you can use to buy up whatever items are left on the registry. I know that was explained to us when we had to go and register for items, which might explain why folks have put pricier items on their lists.
This is always something that comes up when I am with my hubby and his friends. They always think that their presence at the wedding is gift in itself. I am always lecturing them that that is not polite.
A gift is always necessary. It's to show your support and gratutude for being invited. My rule is at least $50 per head (so add another if you bring a date). I also believe you should spend according to what you have. If you don't make much money. Then lower the cost but be a little generous. If you make a lot of money, don't get cheap, it is tacky, espeically when you are invited to share such a special event. It's like the wedding ring rule, it's a precentage of what you make and have! And that is obvious.
I don't think people respect that as much until they have to throw their own wedding. Especially when the bride and groom pay for the wedding out of their pockets!! When that is the case, I often bump the number to $75 /head (also don't forget I am from San Diego so it is more expensive here -- I am assuming if you are from a more wedding friendly place, I am sure $40/ head will be great!) Families that pay for the wedding, I don't fuss as much since they already got a huge $$ break.
As for registry. Usually people register in a few places, say a department store, then another lower end place like Target or bath and body works. I often shop around and get the same item elsewhere if there is a sale elsewhere. For instance, we just went to a wedding last week, and I got my gift from Macy's because the juicer they wanted was on sale at Macy's and I get free shipping there.
I am always surprised at how the expensive things on the registries have already been purchased. I find that most of them are purchased by their relatives, mom, dad, aunts, uncles, grandparents. Don't be pressured to overspend!!
You should know the bride and groom fairly well, do what you think they would appreciate. I always try to get something that is fun/ funny or add something with and inside story about our friendship. Or if I don't know anything about the man she is marrying, I often go buy the Tiffany bracelet and ingrave it with her NEW INITIALS, that is always a hit.
Happy shopping! Don't be pressured to overspend. It is the thought that counts!
A gift is always necessary. It's to show your support and gratutude for being invited. My rule is at least $50 per head (so add another if you bring a date). I also believe you should spend according to what you have. If you don't make much money. Then lower the cost but be a little generous. If you make a lot of money, don't get cheap, it is tacky, espeically when you are invited to share such a special event. It's like the wedding ring rule, it's a precentage of what you make and have! And that is obvious.
I don't think people respect that as much until they have to throw their own wedding. Especially when the bride and groom pay for the wedding out of their pockets!! When that is the case, I often bump the number to $75 /head (also don't forget I am from San Diego so it is more expensive here -- I am assuming if you are from a more wedding friendly place, I am sure $40/ head will be great!) Families that pay for the wedding, I don't fuss as much since they already got a huge $$ break.
As for registry. Usually people register in a few places, say a department store, then another lower end place like Target or bath and body works. I often shop around and get the same item elsewhere if there is a sale elsewhere. For instance, we just went to a wedding last week, and I got my gift from Macy's because the juicer they wanted was on sale at Macy's and I get free shipping there.
I am always surprised at how the expensive things on the registries have already been purchased. I find that most of them are purchased by their relatives, mom, dad, aunts, uncles, grandparents. Don't be pressured to overspend!!
You should know the bride and groom fairly well, do what you think they would appreciate. I always try to get something that is fun/ funny or add something with and inside story about our friendship. Or if I don't know anything about the man she is marrying, I often go buy the Tiffany bracelet and ingrave it with her NEW INITIALS, that is always a hit.
Happy shopping! Don't be pressured to overspend. It is the thought that counts!
It could be that they know they (or their parents) have some very affluent friends and they know they're going to spend. I know a bride who registered for a $2500 Tiffany clock and was shocked to get TWO! (traded one in for a bracelet). I mean, if you know your guests have the means and want to spend, why not? It is a bit rude not to have anything reasonable on the list, but then again, you are always free to buy stuff that's not on the registry.
My fiancee and I are getting married next November, and I am going to vary my registries so that there is a good price point for everyone. So far, I am planning on registering at Tiffanys, Restoration Hardware, Pottery Barn and Target. That way, someone who can only afford a more modest present can go to Target, and those who choose to spend more money can go and get me my 1837 collection silverware from T&Co. 
I can't wait to go and register with my fiancee--it will be so much fun!!
I can't wait to go and register with my fiancee--it will be so much fun!! I was recently looking at a registry and the cheapest things were the $85/piece baccarat glasses. I was sort of chuckling to myself like what, am I only supposed to get them one glass?
I think there should also be a range. Lots of gifts in the lower price ranges, but I don't think it is inappropriate to register for $500 things or even higher... Plus, a lot of people register for the more expensive things because they assume no one will buy it for them and the store that you register at give a discount when you get married and finish buying what was on your registry... so they might as well get a discount on something they like!
But if you're doing it all high end, you better be prepared for lots of things that aren't on your registry from friends who can't afford that. I understand splitting a gift, but I don't really think that should be done between friends for a wedding, unless it is your date, obviously, but I'd only split a shower gift. We have so many weddings coming up and I think they're all getting checks.
I think there should also be a range. Lots of gifts in the lower price ranges, but I don't think it is inappropriate to register for $500 things or even higher... Plus, a lot of people register for the more expensive things because they assume no one will buy it for them and the store that you register at give a discount when you get married and finish buying what was on your registry... so they might as well get a discount on something they like!
But if you're doing it all high end, you better be prepared for lots of things that aren't on your registry from friends who can't afford that. I understand splitting a gift, but I don't really think that should be done between friends for a wedding, unless it is your date, obviously, but I'd only split a shower gift. We have so many weddings coming up and I think they're all getting checks.
i think it's tacky to only register for expensive things and then expect people to spend time organizing a group in order to purchase one. then again, i'm one of those odd people that is made uncomfortable by gifts in general. to me, if you're going to expect gifts, at least make it convenient for the giver by registering for a variety of things at places that are convenient to shop at.
for instance, a cousin of mine that is originally from rural Tennessee but went to Johns Hopkins and now lives in Maryland got married to a northern girl and registered at Bloomingdales...none of his relatives in Tennessee could buy off the registry since the closest Bloomingdales was hours away in Atlanta, and honestly a tad expensive for some of them. i thought it was rather tacky and inconsiderate of them to do, since they expect people to buy off the registry.
for instance, a cousin of mine that is originally from rural Tennessee but went to Johns Hopkins and now lives in Maryland got married to a northern girl and registered at Bloomingdales...none of his relatives in Tennessee could buy off the registry since the closest Bloomingdales was hours away in Atlanta, and honestly a tad expensive for some of them. i thought it was rather tacky and inconsiderate of them to do, since they expect people to buy off the registry.