Brides who register for expensive gifts...

  1. Is it just me, or does it seem appropriate to match the cost of your registered gifts to the cost of your wedding? If you're throwing a wedding that costs, let's say, $30 a head, why would you ask for a $500 kitchen mixer from William Sonoma? :huh: I mean, every gift on the list is very pricey!!

    Is this a generally acceptable thing? I could very well hold the wrong opinion, so I'd love to get some opinions before I dismiss the whole thing as tacky.

    I *do* realize weddings are not about price-matching, and that a gift is an act of generousity. However, I can't help but feel taken advantage of when the effort put into the wedding itself is very little, and the gifts requested are very expensive.
     
  2. i try to get gifts from the registry but if it way too much, i try to get the closest comparable gift.. i do not want to be obligated to buy really expensive gifts coz my thinking is.. on my wedding day, will they give me the presents i want as well? if not, then a comparable gift is sufficient.
     
  3. Just because an item is $500 does not mean that the intent of the couple is for one person or couple to pay for it alone. Some older guests may choose to do so anyhow, but you can choose to purchase something from her registry that is less expensive maybe. Like a crystal glass?does she have anything like that?
     
  4. Ah, thanks, Star! I never thought of that. It would be a good idea to split a gift, I'll have to see if some other folks might be interested in doing that considering there are NO inexpensive gifts on the registry!
     
  5. also make sure they registered for things they really wanted. i've noticed a lot of people feeling pressured to register for stuff they're not going to use or isn't them...i think people get really carried away with wedding-ness and "we need to register for our gourmet kitchen NOW because this is the only time we can, even though we can't cook a lick and we're moving 3 times in the next five years..." it's super easy to go off into lala bride land and forget to be practical.

    then again, that's why i'm so a cash in a nice card person, even for very good friends. let them get what they want, even if it takes two or three different cards to get it... :smile:
     
  6. There was an article in the NY Times dining section 2 weeks ago about wedding registries (sorry, can't find a non-pay version of the article...). It quoted a manners expert saying "begging is still begging" about how the couple technically shouldn't even expect gifts.

    I think most couples put stuff like a Kitchenaid on the registry, but don't necessarily expect to receive it unless it's from immediate family or if their circle of friends are well off. Wedding registries definitely should include inexpensive items. And if the couple didn't bother to do that then they're being tacky.
     
  7. I agree Chinchillamousse, if they only have expensive items, that is tacky. If all of the inexpensive items are already spoken for, get your own gift and forget the registry.
     
  8. I think the register should be a mix of expensive and "inexpensive" or splittable items. Not everyone can afford large gifts. Although, if the wedding is geared towards a more affluent crowd, it's understandable.

    I'm sure that you can set an amount that'll go towards a larger item.
     
  9. I think some brides have unrealistic expectations. Personally MY husband and I registered at Jcpenney. Because starting out, in our minds who the hell knows what we really need.

    I had friends who were like why diddn't you register at like a good store?

    I also have found that some people register for really expensive items assuming that one it will cover the cost of the wedding and two that it will stick it to the people with money to cough up something good.
     
  10. Registering for items in a range of prices is best, I think. I was registered at Williams-Sonoma and Tiffany & Co. My friends bought us things like measuring spoons and cups which we still have and use daily, and our close relatives and rich friends of our parents bought us sterling placesettings, which we don't use quite that often.

    I was a bit shocked when friends gave us cash, but that was ok too. And we got four espresso makers, none of which we registered for and all of which we returned.

    Even the horrible presents were pretty fun. We got a personalized picture of a bride and groom with our names expanded into the clothing - and mine was mispelled! It's hard to explain the horribleness of the thing, but it was sent with great affection from one of my mother's semiskilled employees and I just had to giggle and write a diplomatic thank you note. In fact, it was awfully nice to be remembered by someone who wasn't invited and whom I hardly knew, but who just has a big heart.
     
  11. I think it depends on the monetary class of the guests. If your guest are all from say from a middle class income then I think it's just bad taste to pick gifts that they could never afford to get you. If on the other hand you had 100 millionaires coming to your wedding, well, then, yea, maybe I might put that $500 mixer on there. But other than that, I think it's rude and presumpsuous (sp??).
     
  12. I think a few expensive things are okay because immediate family tends to spend more than friends or extended family, and because a lot of times coworkers will go in for one big gift. It's not like they're registering for a $500 game system or his and hers ipods. A kitchenaid mixer will last a lifetime and is so useful in the kitchen (I :heart: mine).

    But if every gift is pricey on the registry, that's just tacky.
     
  13. If every gift is pricey - that's tacky.

    Otherwise, the big ticket items may be for people close to them that they know can afford it or a group of people can go and get it for them.

    The registry is always a guide. You can get something that's not on it.
     
  14. i agree.
     
  15. I was going to suggest that often people/freinds chip in to buy the pricey everyday items, like the Kitchen Aid items.
    We had people do that and we were grateful!
    I agree too. . . if you aren't finding anything on the list you want to gift, pick out something on your own.