Bottom?

  1. I remember watching this in London!

    It's a British series that came out in 1991.

    Richard "Richie" Richard and Edward "Eddie" Elizabeth Hitler (No relation) are two losers who share a flat in Hammersmith. Richie has never had sex and doesn't have a girlfriend and doesn't accept the fact that women don't want to sleep with him and Eddie is a bald alcholic who has bit of a drinking problem and he loves smashing everything to pieces. Both Richie and Eddie are unemployed and they spend most of time beating each other up and breaking everything and they get very frustrated with each other and they find themselves in all sorts of situations, as both Richie and Eddie are both on the bottom end of the social spectrum.




    [Facing imminent death]
    Eddie: You know, I think I might come back as a bra.
    Richie: What?
    Eddie: Well, all us Buddhists believe in reincarnation.
    Richie: When did you become a Buddhist?
    Eddie: About 5 seconds ago. And may I say it has completely changed my life!
    Richie: But you can't come back as a bra! That's just stupid! You have to come back as something organic.
    Eddie: All right, all right, I'm only a beginner you know! Errr... all right then, I'll come back as... ah! Claudia Schiffer! She's seriously organic!





    Eddie: This is a sex shop isn't it?
    Shop Assistant: Yes.
    Eddie: [slaps money down] I'll have five quid's worth then!
    Shop Assistant: Very droll sir, I've never heard that one before.
    Eddie: Haven't you? Shall I tell it again?
    Shop Assistant: No thank you sir, I'd rather have a pineapple inserted violently into my rectum.
    Eddie: You've been working here too long mate.





    [Richie's date repeatedly knocks on the door]
    Richie: All right, all right! Take it easy you *****!
    [pause]
    Richie: I mean, Your *****ness... I mean Lady ***** of, oh God Eddie, what do you call them?
    Eddie: Jugs, what do you call them?





    Richie: Now can we just get our equipment out! I mean get our tackle out... no I mean get our GEAR out, oh god! You can't say anything without some dreadful double entendre lurking around the corner!




    Richie: What did we do? What did we do?
    Eddie: Well it's your fault for touching up the burly Ferris wheel attendant.
    Richie: I thought she was a girl.
    Eddie: They were pectorals you fool!
    Richie: Well she had an earring.
    Eddie: Yeah, through HER foreskin.
    Richie: Yes, which I found out later much to my distress!





    [the boys believe they've just killed the meter reader]
    Eddie: Hey! Maybe he's not dead. Maybe he's just stunned! Why don't you give him the Kiss of Life?
    Richie: Yeah!
    [pause, disgusted look]
    Richie: No I will NOT! You sad pervy! We've got a dead body in the house and your first idea is to sexually assault it!





    [ Richie tries to impress his date, Lady Natasha Letitia Sarah Jane Wellesley Obstromsky Ponsonsky Smythe Smythe Smythe Smythe Smythe Ovlomov Boblomov Dob, third viscountess of Moldavia]
    Richie: What was it Shakespeare used to say?
    Eddie: [dressed as a butler] Um..."Hello, my dear. I'm a playwriter, you know. Come on, give us a snog".
    Richie: No, Eddie!
    Eddie: Um..."Where's my quill? Bloody Hell, I bought five yesterday! Where do they all go?"
    Richie: [laughing nervously] No, really! What was it he used to say?
    Eddie: "What do you mean, it's crap? There's eight bodies at the end, and he gets to shag his Mum!"
    [Richie punches Eddie in the groin]