Beating my head against the keyboard

  1. I want so bad to be a nurse. I love people, especially working with the elderly i volunteered with them for church for years visitin them in the nursing homes and running them errands. I enjoyed my last semester of school so much working in the extended care facility with the elderly, I enjoyed taking care of them, my teacher was so nice and taught me alot.

    But this semester I am in the hospital and I love the patients but my instructor has been very stern. Not once did she ever tell me anything I ever did right, she wrote paragraphs and paragraphs about what I was doing wrong, and anytime I would ask her a question she would roll her eyes at me and say "you should have already learned that". Before doing a procedue she would give me no instructions, and if I made a mistake often laugh at me in front of my other classmates or let me fumble around in front of the patient until I figured it out myself. I would say I do not know how to do this and she would say "you should know" and "if i tell you you will never remember".

    So I tred to read up and practice many skills on my own in the lab but inevitably becasue of my anxiety I got more and more nervous and I asked my classmates for their advise. THe two girls told me that they thought that I got "picked on more" because I was the "weakest" skillwise and because I had a "problem with my attidude" and "bad listening skills". So after that conversation we went upstairs and the same girl that was telling me I was so terrible did not know what size needle to use and I could not help it I smiled. After she figrued it out and everyone left I told her i was very sorry I did not find it funny I did not mean it, and she turned on me and shoved me into the wall.

    After that I started crying and went in the bathroom, I just could not take anymore, here I was and I was so anxious and my depression was getting worse and worse by the day, so I went to my instructor. I told her that I had problems with anxiety that she made me nervous when she put me on the spot in front of the patient by not showing me how to do something, that humiliating me in front of my classmates was causing us problems, and that I thought I was failing. She said I was passing a good nurse but she just told me i needed to learn to be less anxious and said "go off your anxiety and depression pills you dont need them". Then she called a group meeting and I told the other girls how much what they said hurt me, and the one girl screamed at me in my face and my teacher did notthing. So i felt she would not care about the girl shoving me either so I thought about just letting it go, but i have been getting more and more depressed by the day. So i went to the department head about all of this. I dont know if I want to follow though with anything I am scared of the reprecussions of filing a complaint.

    So her I am my mind so boggled at this desk.

    Thank you all for reading, what do you think?
  2. Hi BQueen,
    I'm sorry you are having a rough time right now. I cannot believe that girl shoved you. :cursing: She has no right to touch you! You should file a complaint. I think that medical instructors can be very tough and insensitive, so try very hard to not take it personally, but do not take crap from fellow students. That's not right.
    Some women in groups can be so mean, and it sounds like they are all against you. I admire that you confronted them and have brought it up to the department head. Hang in there! You did the right thing! And no one has the right to scream in your face and shove you. No one!
  3. What a b*tch (and that's putting it nicely), first a student cannot put hands on you. Second that instructor needs to remember her job is to teach...meaning if you have questions she needs to answer them. I say forget what everybody else around you thinks of you. If this is something you truely love then thats all that matters. So who cares if that girl doesn't like you, she isn't going to determine whether you become a nurse or not. And if the instructors manner continues I think you should put a complaint. Because if you were already suppossed to know all that then she wouldn't have a job right?
  4. OMG, that's awful you have to go through something like this!!
    She shoved you into the wall?? And that girl wants to be a nurse? Well, heaven help her future patients I must say, I already feel sorry for them.

    It's very brave of you to confront the others in a group meeting, good for you! In my opinion, I do believe the other girls are having attitude problems, certainly not you!!!
  5. thank you so much for supporting me i was afraid to say anything for weeks because i was so intimidated
  6. We are here for you! :cutesy:
    I think you may intimidate them: you look great, you are smart and have a passion to help others, so they are probably insecure, but that's their problem!
    I can understand about having anxiety...I suffered from that for years and my boss would not treat me right because of it. But taking meds and talking to a therapist helped and now I can hold my own, OK. It still creeps in sometimes... Don't let them get to you! You have a lot to offer! :yes:
  7. What kind of nurse will this girl make?, who shoves people into the wall and screams in their faces?? I wouldn't want to deal with her if I was sick! Somebody who cannot control her temper just because she feels a little criticized should not become a nurse, good Lord, what would happen if she found herself with a bad tempered patient giving her a bit of grief?, would she push him/her against the wall as well..(would find herself in a tricky situation if she did..)

    BQueenGirl, I have read several of your posts and I think you're honest and funny, I'm sure you'll make a great nurse:smile:

    Don't let them push you around, go and have a proper chat with your teacher, let her know you are serious about doing this the best way possible, but you need her to instruct you properly (and maybe repeat herself what?)

    As for this girl who obviously has a problem, ignore her as much as you can and if you have to deal with her, be as pleasant as you can, kill them with kindness, KWIM...
  8. I would talk to the top person. You do not deserved to be treated this way by your instruction and file charges against the girl who pushed you. You deserve to be treated with respect.
    I wonder if perhaps the other girls might be jealous of you without you knowing it? I am sure your love of working with the older people was realized by them. When my Dad was in a nursing home for 2 weeks I was so happy to see how well he was treated and to see that 99% of the people there loved their jobs and each other. Don't give up. You have the makings of a great nurse and that in itself is difficult enough to find these days. Think of what is ahead for you.....I am sure there will be many difficult days but if there is some way you can deal with them they will pass.... Can you see a therapist and get some anxiety medication (Klonopin is great) that can help take the edge off and possibly make your environment easier to deal with.
    Can you switch hospitals? There has to be a way to possible transfer to another teacher--the actions by her really seem unacceptable to me. Can you talk to the head of the school/program you are in?

    Good luck and know you are not alone.
    We stand behind you....
  9. how awful! i wish i could be there in person to just give you a big hug!

    you did the right thing by going to the dept. head... i think you should definitely follow through with this. the instructor is certainly not doing her job... she's supposed to teach and guide her students! and the classmate that pushed certainly does not sound like someone who should go into this profession. i think you should steer clear of her as much as possible, and just work hard to do what you can. do not let them push you around. i wish you the best of luck!
  10. Good for you for speaking up and complaining to a department head. I think that nursing instructors like to terrorize their students on purpose. There was one instructor that I had...she told me that maybe I should think about switching professions because I was irresponsible -- because I showed up late for 1 class! Just try to get through this semester...then you don't have to deal with that teacher again. Follow up with your complaint to the dept. head.

    As for that stupid girl...she's not going to last. If she reacts like that to you...she's not going to be able to handle 7-8 patients who are all ringing their callbells at the same time, patients/families giving them attitude, and doctors who are really intimidating. Don't worry about her. Ignore her...she's probably just insecure about herself.
  11. thank you so much everyone your support means alot no matter what people do to me in nursing school i am just going to keep working hard because i love taking care of people so much, i get so much joy outta making a grumpy person happy or doing that special thing for someone that makes their day.
  12. Sorry you are having a rough time & I agree that girl who shoved you against the wall, she had no right & doesn't exactly sound the caring type LOL
    I think people are sensing your anxiety & try to make themselves feel better by bullying you. I would definitely take this higher!
  13. I'm really sorry for you being delt such a hard time. I definitely think you did the right thing by going to the head person - your instructor should help teach you things, not make you feel inferior. And about that girl shoving you, you really need to take that up with the head person too. She has no right to put her hands on you. Stay strong - we're all here for you :smile:
  14. Don't give up! Nursing school is tough and the instructors can make it even harder but not all of them are like that so keep your chin up. I would, however, definitely complain about the student who shoved you and screamed at you. That behavior is totally unacceptable under any circumstances.

    FYI, I struggled through nursing school and there were many times when I felt discouraged and like I wouldn't make it but I did! And that was 20 years ago! Nursing needs caring people like you now more than ever so have faith in yourself and keep fighting, OK? Best of luck to you!!
  15. im sorry that you're having so much problem. i no way should anyone be treated that way.