Baked Beans ...This is too Funny

  1. I got this in my email and had to share

    Baked Beans - This is hilarious!
    >> (This one is much too cute not to share. Enjoy! Be sure to grab a
    >> tissue;
    >> I think you'll be laughing so hard you'll cry!)
    >> One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.
    >> When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme
    >> sacrifice
    >> and gave up beans.
    >> Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home
    >> from
    >> work.
    >> Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I
    >> would be late because I had to walk home.
    >> On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was
    >> more
    >> than I could stand.
    >> With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by
    >> the
    >> time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I
    >> had
    >> consumed t hree large orders of baked beans.
    >> All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
    >> Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
    >> delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
    >> He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.
    >> I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the
    >> telephone
    >> rang.
    >> He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went
    >> to
    >> answer the call.
    >> The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure
    >> was
    >> becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I
    >> seized
    >> the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.
    >> It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running
    >> over a
    >> skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
    >> I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
    >> Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink
    >> was
    >> worse than cooked cabbage.
    >> Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I
    >> went on like this for another few minutes.
    >> The pleasure was indescribable.
    >> When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom,
    >> I
    >> quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my
    >> lap
    >> and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with
    >> myself.
    >> My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
    >> returned,
    >> apologizing for taking so long.
    >> He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I
    >> had
    >> not.
    >> At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated
    >> around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
    >> I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:roflmfao: :roflmfao:
  2. :roflmfao: :wtf: :wtf: :roflmfao:
    That is hysterical. Thanks for the laugh.
  3. :roflmfao::roflmfao::roflmfao: There is also a male version of this story.
  4. Oh gosh, I saw that one coming but geez how embarrasing! Thanks for sharing :upsidedown:
  5. Too funny :roflmfao: :roflmfao: :roflmfao:
  6. :roflmfao: lol, have read this before, but it's still funny:roflmfao:
  7. :lol: :upsidedown: :lol:
  8. OMGGG!!! I would have been so embarassed! lol, I would have wanted to die right there!
  9. lmao!!! That's hilrious!!! Omg, I thought her husband made her baked beans for dinner or something! That would of been so embarassing, I probably would of died!!
  10. I thought the same thing at first. Of course, twelve dinner guests makes it funnier. :roflmfao:
  11. omg...i would have died of embarassment on the spot!!
  12. I thought the same thing:p
  13. Omg!!!!!
  14. Hahahaha, DF and I just had a very good laugh over this one!